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Meta
Fat.
Wide awake.
everyday i think of a new way i will die
on ustream
http://picturesforsadchildren.com/post/31071027272
Struck by lightning while riding a giraffe in an open field.
Hooked up to a few machines in a cold hospital room that stinks of my own shit and stale piss with a view overlooking an empty parking lot.
if only we could all be so lucky.
How about struck by a giraffe while riding lightning?
That would make a great blog.
Update: I mean “blog.”
And dreaming?
Thorough.
I saw Moonrise Kingdom last night. And there’s a giraffe scene in that.
tied to a railroad track
If you’re lucky!
I often think that I will get hit by a car, or a bus. Since I bike every day.
Today, in fact, I almost got hit by some cars, while crossing Ashland (I was biking on Hubbard).
I hate that biking is so dangerous, since I think it’s one of the best ways to get around (and is besides walking my primary means of doing so).
God, I hope I don’t die in a hospital.
Although maybe the hospitals of the future will be better?
Who am I kidding they will be worse.
clay pigeon.
Being hit by one? Or you’ll be mistaken for one, and shot?
into a cartoon
That’s hardly the worst fate. That’s how Wally Wood went.
Is that how you get to be mod? How can I become mod?
Pancreatic cancer, probably.
C’mon folks—how, if you really think about it, will you really think you will die? For really realz?
If you’re really honest, in time, a long time from now (I hope), when you die, many people can come back and look at this thread, compare your real obit to what you right now said.
Then people will say that the internet had an important purpose.
suicide by 40
age 40. although I was hoping that for a moment you would think I meant 40 oz
horrifically. ps. best post ever. thank you a.d.
it was just the first thing i thought of, i don’t really care how i die
alone bc no one can fucking stand to stay with me etc
Choking on my own dick
My daughter shoots me in the back of my head because I am too obese to move from the couch.
Too many bumps of powdered gold
Murdered by a bunch of poor people who are jealous of my millions of dollars
Cum so hard all my intestines shoot out of me
Kill myself to save the lives of many
Heart attack at the Cheesecake Factory
Stick a radioactive rod up my dickhole
To achieve an erection every single drop of blood from the rest of my body needs to travel to my penis and I suffer a stroke and heart attack at the same time
Someone murders me because they think I actually share the opinions expressed in a piece of writing of mine
Food poisoning from a Communion wafer
Murdered by a textbook that is jealous of my brain
Beaten to death by cops while sitting in the audience of America’s Funniest Home Videos
Poisoned while eating the shit out of a jellyfish’s asshole
The same way Leto dies in God Emperor Dune
Auto-erotic asphyxiation but with barbed wire
Andrea Coates fucks em to death
i dunno but i better take everybody around with me
First thought: what the fuck do you mean, “die”?
What have you heard?
I don’t “think” I’m going to die, but if I die, I’m going to die broke. That’s a pretty good bet.
I think I’ll die in a car accident. I’ve always been been a little autophobic and it has that effect on me, having to drive/commute every damn day. I really wish I could walk/bike everywhere. I really do. You’re lucky man.
falling
I realized at quite a young age that I hate cars and don’t ever want to own one. So I moved to a city so I could bike/walk/take transit everywhere. (Yes, I’m one of those people. And no I don’t hate drivers, I just hate the way we’ve transfigured this country so one has to drive just about everywhere. I grew up in that kind of a place. Also, I did end up owning a car for a while, when I lived in New Jersey.)
I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to leave the city, though. Maybe buy a horse?
Who’s em?
Frank Tas, the Raptor, you will die many deaths.
cirrhosis of the liver
I’m going with the safe bet: cancer! And if that doesn’t happen then good old fashioned madness.
Really really drunk version of me :)
http://youtu.be/_2Svpcj8A2c
I, as well, despise how this country is designed in benefit of the car. I’ve only ever managed to live in areas where sprawl is a big problem. I hope to one day live deep in the city, any city, but preferably NY, or Portland, or somewhere.
Buying a horse… hmm… I’ve seen stranger scenarios. At least the horse could double as a pet.
We have a lot of work to do, rebuilding our country.
Actually, I want a giant cat, like Llyan.
Though in a pinch, I’d take the cheetah in Harold & Kumar.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Fire.
i want this thread to keep going until we reach the record high # of comments
Me, too!
So that answers this.
I was wondering recently which HG threads have gotten the most comments. I don’t think there’s any easy way to search for that…?
Anywhere in particular?
Ha!
The good news, I think, is that some folks are working on it. I think. I have a lot of hope, and not just the Obama kind. I think the next 10–20 years in the US are going to be pretty interesting.
By die I mean die. Which also answers your second question?
No, thank you, kjtuyy!
love that song.
ha ha a classic though everybody’s already an ex-parrot
Was responding to “really think […] really think […] really realz”. Doubt that ‘death of oneself’ is thinkable except by analogy.
It’s desperately painful to think of the annihilation of a person one loved who’s died and is dead, but that grief is, to me, a reasonable experience of the thought of that person’s non-existence (and not an evasion of that thought).
One might also experience exhaustion as a doorway to personal non-existence, as a person suffering an illness or injury might quit consciously fighting it and retire from the effort. But still, ‘quitting’ is still an action one takes, and you ask about “think[ing] that [I] will die”, “die” meaning ‘extirpation of the condition for the possibility of acting at all’.
In my view, I will die is, as it were, purely hypothetical.
Drowning.
*Correction: By the sheer beauty of Mary Miller.
i thought of a new possible way that i might die: serotonin syndrome. i would be interested in hearing about other people’s new/alternate possible ways that they might die.
i thought of a new way: hypnic jerk
restless legs aka willis-ekbom
brown recluse spider bite
I start vomiting and just don’t stop
You live in Illinois? I do, and people here are OBSESSED with brown recluse spiders. Because one was once seen here, once.
Wild. I suffer from RLS myself. But mainly because I never stretch thoroughly enough, silly me.
I threw up on Saturday, for the first time in over six years. I survived, though.
I suppose I might die if my skin were to suddenly evaporate, or fall off. I’d overheat very quickly, I think. (The skin regulates body temperature, I think.)
Alternately, I’d also die if my body suddenly became allergic to oxygen.
Or if gravity stopped working on me, and me alone.
This caused me to google Mary Miller.
I survived, but only barely. I’ll try avoiding her in real life.
I hope I don’t go that way. Seems horrible.
I think that regardless of what we think and say about it, sooner or later, it’s gonna get us. And we won’t ever know what it was.
no i live in toronto. i heard of the brown recluse while reading about necrosis on wikipedia
I assume a drug addiction that will take route quietly in my mid forties.
Of a broken heart
Well, if you’re good, I’ll mail you one.
Almost 100 comments. Not counting this one.
you’ve got a ways to go: http://htmlgiant.com/mean/mean-week-is-your-week-i-guess/
I’m not even sure that’s the one with the most comments. there was one about tao lin I vaguely remember getting a lot, although that’s hard to search for because a search for tao lin on htmlg returns a lot of posts.
luv u tho tao
Oh, I figured we’d come nowhere close!
It seems to me people comment less these days at HG.
Not sure you saw the right Mary Miller. Cuz googling doesnt really bring up shit, but it should. I found out about her via http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/17/living/independent-writers-book-tour/index.html
I think it was the same MM. I looked for the author.
i agree