June 23rd, 2014 / 9:57 pm
Snippets
Snippets
Rauan Klassnik—
Colum McCann — Transatlantic
……….what was Colum McCann, National Book Award Winner, thinking when he posed for this author pic ??
“I am profound. I am sooooo profound.” — ??
“This is sure gonna sell a lot of copies!!!” — ???
“I have been translated into 35 languages!!” —??
“What would James Joyce say about this???” — ?
“Is this really a good idea??” —- ????
“The scarf’s the clincher!!” —- ????
______________________________ ???????
This guy taught in my MFA program. tee hee
i don’t care about the picture, but you reminded me of how much I liked Let the Great World Spin and now I wanna read another book by him
This is how Bono sells so many frisbees??
What would happen if I ran outside right now and punched that dog?
Mutton. Mmmmmmm. Mutton.
“Mutton.” (spoken with a French accent)
♪ There she goes / There she goes again ♪
“I think I just pooped my pants.”
tbh i’d hit it.
I wonder if there’s a correlation between how you wear a scarf and how you teach ??
o, Chris, why so serious, man — ?? … why wouldn’t you “care” about the picture ?? … it’s funny, right ?? .. preposterous, absurd, sad…
and is it a sin to poke fun at that a bit ?? (acknowledging our own weaknesses, of course. our own frail humanity, vanity, etc)….
I swear to fucking god if that intern takes the last bagel bite before this camera witch is done I’m going write her fake-ass little life back to the stone age.
I wasn’t throwing shade, I think it’s fine to poke fun at goofy author pics — I guess I could have rephrased the comment differently — that was just my honest reaction, seeing the picture reminded me of that book, which I haven’t thought about in a long time
no worries, Chris… I guess I just woke up in a grouchy mood! ……
colum is thinking to himself:
tho i am often pensive, i am never grouchy
lol
“Camera one. Camera two. Camera one. Camera two.”
“My body is made of meat.”
“Pretty happy that Dave Grohl and Courtney Love hugged recently.”
“I’m very interested in what is and what isn’t hegemonic, these days.”
“I used to love her, but I had to kill her….”
“I’m afraid that my scarf is hiding sinister ambitions and angles”
“we eat so many shrimp i got iodine poisoning”
“When I was little, my father was famous. He was the greatest samurai in the empire…”
“And he was the Shogun’s decapitator. He cut off the heads of a hundred and thirty-one lords. It was a bad time for the empire. The Shogun just stayed inside his castle and he never came out.”
“People said his brain was infected by devils. My father would come home, he would forget about the killings. He wasn’t scared of the Shogun, but the Shogun was scared of him.”
“Maybe that was the problem. Then, one night, the Shogun sent his ninja spies to our house. They were supposed to kill my father but they didn’t. That was the night everything changed…”
“sippin on some sip sippin on some…”
“8 Simple Tricks That Will Help You Ace A Job Interview But Rob You Of Your Innocence”
“hi i’m colum”
“hello i’m colum”
“hi i’m colum”
“hi i’m colum nice to meet ya”
COLUMMMMMMMMMMMMM
i keep burping garlic and asparagus
yum
Courtney Love Fires Back: The Thrilling Neverending Sage On How Friends and Family Fight Over Money and Power
Ha, I’m so relaxed my Gucci flats ain’t got a scratch
If you got a problem with I, well I will fix them, cataracts
Sittin’ in my hog, tell my chauffer to the pent house
Pockets so deep it’s like my money gotta swim out
I AM COLUM MCCANN, the bottles keep poppin’
Dom P, Rose, Perrier poppin’
I just can’t get you out of my head
Boy your loving is all I think about
I just can’t get you out of my head
Boy it’s more than I dare to think about
La la la
La la la la la
La la la
La la la la la
La la la
La la la la la
Every night
Every day
Just to be there in your arms
Won’t you stay
Won’t you lay
Stay forever and ever and ever and ever
Set me free
Feel the need in me
Set me free
Stay forever and ever and ever and ever
I carry my heart in my hand. I am Colum MCcann. Do you understand? Do you understand?
MY WORK HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO 35 LANGUAGES
OH RAUAN SAID THAT
“Do you hate me? Why did you stick me in self-deprecating bones and skin–do you hate me, do you hate me, do you hate me, do you hate me…………”
I’m just a sucker for a pretty face.
The New Yorker, Esquire, Paris Review, Granta, The Atlantic Monthly, GQ, Tin House, Bomb as well in several other places. He has written for the New York Times, Esquire, The Paris Review, The Atlantic Monthly, GQ, The Times, The Irish Times, Granta, la Repubblica, Die Zeit, Paris Match, The Guardian, The Independent as well as many other international publications.
I have written a novel called SONGDOGS, and I hope the world never forgets that.
i wrote a badass book called DANCER
i’m Irish as fuck
wrote a badass book called ZOLI
But Jesus hurt me
When He deserted me, but
I have forgiven Jesus
For all of the love
He placed in me when there’s no one
I can turn to with this love
COLUM MCCANN IN THE KITCHEN WITH A CHICKEN
GROWN folks call me mister,
everybody wants to take a picture with a FIXTURE
Monday – humiliation
Tuesday – suffocation
Wednesday – condescension
Thursday – is pathetic
By Friday life has killed me
By Friday life has killed me
I’d rather pop a bottle,
Before I pop a gat
TANGERINE TAMBOURINE FROM THE WEST WING
The best thing about my room? Versace bed springs
COLUM MCCANN in the building, more gold than Rumpelstiltskin
In the trap with some killers and some hood colums
Where you at? Where your trap? You ain’t hood, colum
I soar like a condor ready for war, fuck the law!
[Sample: distorted] “raindrops on the ground”
My name contains three C’s, two M’s, two N’s, and A LOT OF OTHER STUFF
I’m a Pisces, and I feel like a Pisces whenever I indulge in private time
………………………….
La la la
La la la la la
La la la
La la la la la
sippin on some sip sippin on some…
grape kool aid-filled swimming pool
peter tosh
damien hirst telephone
sorbet
true
should i walk for nachos or sit for a taco
yes it’s true
these are all actual real thoughts from the mind of COLUM MCCANN SYMMETRICAL MAN
My earring a jelly bean, gangster lean and Irene
Red eyes no visine, I’m loc’d out on the drink
Space boots with the spikes, go to AZ on the flight
Mail a hundred overnight, yea yea yea yea
colum mccann thinks all of this, all the time, every, single, day
Yes, this is the good side of my widow’s peak.
i like that i clicked to read the comments and it was all brooks
“Ow.”
I remember liking him. The scarf arrived later.
he just contacted me, through his agent… asking for a date… and the scarf will be there too !!!! xoxoxooxox