Where are you going

Two Christians came to my doorstep while I drank coffee
This was a couple minutes ago, on my porch (right
now I’m recording it in a poem). They spoke
of death. To me, the man and woman, probably
married, very old but in an endearing way, seemed
possessed of knowledge concerning some end/hereafter
The woman tried to read of death to me
I ended up reading to myself out loud, for her
Afterwards, the man asked me if I was a ‘scholar’
I hesitated and said ‘yes,’ then came quick
a vague discussion of my hobbies leading
into one, as directionless as death, about
a perceived lack of ‘goodness’ in the world
and resulting senses of fallacious hopelessness
Our reasons for defying/defining loss are different
They still gave me a little pamphlet though
On the back of it is a blurb titled ‘is it designed’
demarcating the biological system of navigation
dung beetles use, specifically in regard to
their utilization of the Milky Way’s band of light
as a sort of GPS satellite, but more efficient than one
I feel, re: significantly less computational power
Even on the darkest nights they check distant starlight
against their position in the universe for movement
I don’t know what the article is implying, but it brought to mind
an occurrence yesterday, wherein waking up outside
the chapel, I went in and almost prayed
instead opting to sit at the organ and attempt to play
realizing it requires a labyrinth of neural organization
I’m incapable of aligning my body’s movement with the electrical impulses needed
to operate complicated machinery in a purposeful, directive manner
I’ve been trying to figure something out ever since
like if God was watching me and laughing at my failure
in his/her house; some people really don’t like a house
being disrespected; God might be one of those people
or simply detritus in the pockets of those people