Japan

I walked into the water and started swimming
I thought I would swim forever

My wish was to swim to Japan
and eat fish that contains deadly toxins
unless it is scrupulously prepared

and then visit the Buddhist temples
to bow down at a family shrine at the side of the road
to eat rice with the family

But I felt myself sinking

I don’t know how he got there
My sister’s boyfriend threw a carry on me
His hand massaged my breast as he towed me
It was unpleasant
but it was foreplay
so it was compulsory

I knew all about compulsory
from my Olympic training

He dragged me onto the sand
Each grain of sand was a finely honed razor
I already knew that the world was made of razors

If you explored the molecular structure of anything
you discovered it was made of razors

My brain is made of a billion razors
Each neuron is a razor
Each synapse is a strop

I wanted to scream at my sister’s boyfriend:
Why are you torturing me?
but couldn’t get any words out

He gave me mouth-to-mouth
I thought that meant we were married
without violence
I sat up and vomited in the sand

My sister came over with a child’s shovel and covered it up
The shovel was bright green
It turned into a mystical frog
and squirmed in her hands
She shrieked and dropped it

The mystical frog peed in the sand
and froze everything for eternity