Did you know that poetry.com‘s database is SEARCHABLE?  Well guess what, Internet?  IT IS.  Welcome to terrordome.

When I was 16 I sent a poem to them through bolt.com (anyone remember bolt.com?  Social networking v.08 BETA…I was a bolt.com all-star, FYI…much less success on makeoutclub.com; did not like Coalesce…sad, so sad.) and it was from the point of view of a fortune cookie!  But you didn’t KNOW it was a fortune cookie!  Whaaaaaaat?  I know, right?  I was one mysterious poet!

Anyway, I totally was a SEMI-FINALIST and they were going to publish me in their MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY for like $45.00 and I was so psyched!  Fortunately my parents did not believe in eCommerce at the time (shout-out to Patricia and Ed) and so I never got to see my poem in its Times New Roman 12-point double-spaced center-justified glory!  This is why I write nonfiction today, no matter what Albert Goldbarth sez.

So, yeah, their database is searchable; plug your name in, hold your breath, and hope that you submitted too early for internet-foreverdom.  Also, they have ‘POETRY REFERENCE’…’Need Help Rhyming?’ WHY YES I DO!  Thanks for asking poetry.com!  What rhymes with BLOODY?