i apologize in advance for what mean monday has done to me.  but this is to the guy who is kind of an asshole who works at Subway, by my apartment:

Why are you so fucking mean to me all the time, man?  I mean not all the time, because I don’t eat there that much–but what’s up man?   I’m sorry sometimes i can’t hear you, but you don’t have to yell, “Vutt kind bread?” over and over; it hurts my feelings.  When you yell at me like that, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel awful.  It makes me want to say, “More like, what un-kind bread” and then walk away crying.  Look, I know everything sucks, and that it’s also shitty when someone asks you to repeat something, but if we just be nice to each other, well, darnit, then whenever we are together we will be happy.  So I’m asking you, guy who works at Subway by my place: To stop hurting my feelings and start being my friend, you rascal.