April 25th, 2009 / 11:52 pm
Technology

I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.

426_various_21_tv_robert_snowden

texts from last night is a website that posts annonymous text messages from drunk party people who send each other funny texts and then submit them to this website.
It’s funny. I get the feeling most of the entries are written by brodudes and skank ass hoes. But like, sometimes they’re sort of smart or existential bro dudes and skank ass hoes.

the numbers are area codes

(845): I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

Obvs dealing with conflicting social expectations. Seems to hold value to some kind of ‘two-day rule’ probably enforced by dude’s more powerful friends. I guess I’ve always known that people think about things like how many days to wait before calling. It just seems so arbitrary and mathy for bro dudes to want to deal with.

(724): Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping

I just think that’s funny.

(610): please tell me I’m in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

This person is too scared to leave the room to check where they are? haha cool

(510): So drunk, too bad you don’t want this

This one makes me really sad. There’s really nothing more pathetic and annoying than a desperate text message from someone who presumes rejection and writes a text message designed to make someone else feel bad about their own insecurity.

(958): Ok I think I’m on a date with a hooker from Louisiana
(303): go home
(985): But it’s funny

it only got funny once he said it was funny.

(703): I’m going to jail i love you

hahaha. wait it’s sad.

(323): i don’t know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
(818): she hot?
(323): i don’t wanna talk about it

I think some of these serial texts make really great short stories. There’s a ton of mystery and ambiguity, distinctive characters, and troubled romance. I don’t know. I really think this is good. It reminds me of Six Sentences a little.

(703): I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.

haha

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20 Comments

  1. bryan

      holy shit. this is so fucking amazing.

      “(609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day”

      a tubberware.

  2. bryan

      holy shit. this is so fucking amazing.

      “(609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day”

      a tubberware.

  3. Brad Green

      Very funny. Thank you for the link. Many story ideas lingering in there.

  4. Brad Green

      Very funny. Thank you for the link. Many story ideas lingering in there.

  5. Jimmy Chen

      (718): There’s a dildo in the cheerios box here

      haha i love this. thanks chelsea this rocks

  6. Jimmy Chen

      (718): There’s a dildo in the cheerios box here

      haha i love this. thanks chelsea this rocks

  7. crispin

      chelsea martin is the best thing to happen to htmlgiant since the internet

  8. crispin

      chelsea martin is the best thing to happen to htmlgiant since the internet

  9. Kevin O'Neill

      (914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
      (773): jesus mom

  10. Kevin O'Neill

      and I thought my text conversation about James Blackshaw with my mum was weird.

  11. Kevin O'Neill

      (914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
      (773): jesus mom

  12. Kevin O'Neill

      and I thought my text conversation about James Blackshaw with my mum was weird.

  13. Catherine Lacey

      Awesome. I bet they’ll get a book deal by the summer. Hey, when is HTMLgiant going to get a book deal?

  14. Catherine Lacey

      Awesome. I bet they’ll get a book deal by the summer. Hey, when is HTMLgiant going to get a book deal?

  15. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      This shit is funny, but depressing.

  16. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      This shit is funny, but depressing.

  17. Jimmy Chen

      chelsea and matthew have the best finds for sure…always out of the box

  18. Jimmy Chen

      chelsea and matthew have the best finds for sure…always out of the box

  19. Margosita

      Just what I needed, another amusing way to waste time on the internet… Though, yes, there are certainly stories there!

  20. Margosita

      Just what I needed, another amusing way to waste time on the internet… Though, yes, there are certainly stories there!