July 10th, 2009 / 12:30 am
Technology
Ryan Call
Technology
Your favorite bitter literary characters on Omegle
Whoever said Omegle is the Internet-chat version of truckstop-bathroom sex didn’t think to throw ‘great literature’ at it to, you know, maybe class it up a bit. Well, I thought it, and I threw it, and I somehow still feel dirty, ashamed, and full of regret. I feel like I’ve ruined something.
I give you the underground man chatting on Omegle, followed by Molloy chatting on Omegle.
Tags: beckett, Dostoevsky, Omegle
tried it:
You: damn
Stranger: hey
You: how do i know you are not a pederast?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
tried it:
You: damn
Stranger: hey
You: how do i know you are not a pederast?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
It was really weird and uncomfortable when my stranger asked if I was an “h or f.”
It was really weird and uncomfortable when my stranger asked if I was an “h or f.”
Very funny! Thanks for starting my morning this way.
Very funny! Thanks for starting my morning this way.
Obviously he was not a golfer.
Your responses were uncreative and showed a lack of flexibility. We shouldn’t be surprised that they resemble the efforts of middling high school teachers to teach “great literature” to their students. Might as well tape pages to the eyelids of strangers and scream at them.
Obviously he was not a golfer.
Your responses were uncreative and showed a lack of flexibility. We shouldn’t be surprised that they resemble the efforts of middling high school teachers to teach “great literature” to their students. Might as well tape pages to the eyelids of strangers and scream at them.
mooncalf?
mooncalf?
The dude abides
The dude abides
yeah, i agree, i basically just typed sentences from the opening pages of notes from underground and molloy at them.
yeah, i agree, i basically just typed sentences from the opening pages of notes from underground and molloy at them.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: Do you hate communism as much as I do?
You: Yes.
You: I hate chinks too
Stranger: Good. Theres hope for you
You: hehe
Stranger: Good!
Stranger: Then we are on the same page here
You: What else do you hate?
Stranger: Niggers, jews, mexican, babies you know the usual
You: YES!
You: I despise niggers
You: You like faggots?
Stranger: Hell no.
You: I am a faggot
Stranger: Oh. Me to :/
You: dick
You: Where from?
Stranger: Yes please
Stranger: Europe
You: Europe? I am from North America.
You: NYC
Stranger: I see. Moste Americans believe Europe is a Country
You: I like big fat guys
You: hairy ones
Stranger: I am sorry to tell you I am a skinny nigger jew.
You: gross
Stranger: Yes. I am planing to kill my self
You: good idea
Stranger: Indeed
You: do it slowly
You: How are you gonna do it?
Stranger: Yes. Sounds good
Stranger: I think Im gonna cut my dick of and like, bleed to death
You: I cut my wrists before but my boyfriend found me.
You: He saved me so I broke up with him
Stranger: Hero
You: Now medication keeps me from doing it
You: he ruined it. I hate him
Stranger: Hmm. you know, you should kill him
You: I can’t.
Stranger: Somebody has to die, amirite?
You: I used to think so.
Stranger: So then kill him, or the first nigger you see
You: Have you ever heard of htmlgiant.com?
Stranger: No
You: It’ filled with niggers and jews.
Stranger: I see. Then I shall stay away from it
Stranger: hi
Stranger: Do you hate communism as much as I do?
You: Yes.
You: I hate chinks too
Stranger: Good. Theres hope for you
You: hehe
Stranger: Good!
Stranger: Then we are on the same page here
You: What else do you hate?
Stranger: Niggers, jews, mexican, babies you know the usual
You: YES!
You: I despise niggers
You: You like faggots?
Stranger: Hell no.
You: I am a faggot
Stranger: Oh. Me to :/
You: dick
You: Where from?
Stranger: Yes please
Stranger: Europe
You: Europe? I am from North America.
You: NYC
Stranger: I see. Moste Americans believe Europe is a Country
You: I like big fat guys
You: hairy ones
Stranger: I am sorry to tell you I am a skinny nigger jew.
You: gross
Stranger: Yes. I am planing to kill my self
You: good idea
Stranger: Indeed
You: do it slowly
You: How are you gonna do it?
Stranger: Yes. Sounds good
Stranger: I think Im gonna cut my dick of and like, bleed to death
You: I cut my wrists before but my boyfriend found me.
You: He saved me so I broke up with him
Stranger: Hero
You: Now medication keeps me from doing it
You: he ruined it. I hate him
Stranger: Hmm. you know, you should kill him
You: I can’t.
Stranger: Somebody has to die, amirite?
You: I used to think so.
Stranger: So then kill him, or the first nigger you see
You: Have you ever heard of htmlgiant.com?
Stranger: No
You: It’ filled with niggers and jews.
Stranger: I see. Then I shall stay away from it
obviously you’re into the whole brevity thing
obviously you’re into the whole brevity thing
no one fucks with the jesus.
no one fucks with the jesus.
Whoa, you found a soul mate.
Whoa, you found a soul mate.
ryan, i really liked how you used the underground man and molloy, kinda like those crank calls with notable celebrity voice clips
ryan, i really liked how you used the underground man and molloy, kinda like those crank calls with notable celebrity voice clips
oh man this is good
oh man this is good
eight-year olds, dude.
eight-year olds, dude.
I can get you a toe by this afternoon. With polish.
I can get you a toe by this afternoon. With polish.
do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?
do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?
I’m going to use that all the time now. Watch out, world.
I’m going to use that all the time now. Watch out, world.
This is my favorite internet thing of the past month at least.
This is my favorite internet thing of the past month at least.
V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
I thought htmlgiant was filled with racists.
I thought htmlgiant was filled with racists.
This is great, Ryan. I did one of my own, loosely adapting Barthelme’s Me and Miss Mandible:
Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: what’s up?
You: So guess what?
You: Miss Mandible wants to make love to me
Stranger: you are from japan
Stranger: china?
Stranger: asian
You: but she hesitates because I’m officially a child
Stranger: or same shit like that?
You: No, I’m American author.
Stranger: really?
Stranger: I am america too
You: I lived in Texas for a long while.
You: But in New York City, too.
Stranger: I am live in Goias
You: Listen: I am, according to the records, according to the gradebook on her desk
You: blah blah
You: eleven years old
You: But I’m not.
Stranger: …
You: There’s a misconception here that I haven’t quite managed to get cleared up yet.
You: I’m in fact thirty-five!
You: Srsly
Stranger: cool
You: And I’ve been in the Army.
Stranger: sad
You: I’m six foot one, have hair in the appropriate places,
You: My voice is barritone
Stranger: hahahaha
You: And believe me – I know what to do with Miss Manidible
Stranger: you are ugly?
You: if she ever makes up her mind.
You: Somewhat. In my publicity photos, I have a bushy beard.
Stranger: oh
You: I Bought A Little City
Stranger: i wanna suck your dick
You: Anyway, in the meantime, we’re studying common fractions.
Stranger: I am chick
You: I could, of course, answer all the questions
Stranger: i has 19 years old
You: (there are things I don’t remember)
Stranger: And i wanna be your first womam
Stranger: i has a nice pussy
You: Back to Miss Mandible!!!
You: She’s my first woman.
Stranger: no fuck off Miss mandible
You: Don’t make me call in an Indian Uprising.
Stranger: I want you baby
You: Sorry. My own allegiance, at the moment, is divided between Miss Mandible and Sue Ann Brownly —
Stranger: i so need a man
You: — who sits across the aisle from me all day long —
Stranger: i will find
Stranger: bye
This is great, Ryan. I did one of my own, loosely adapting Barthelme’s Me and Miss Mandible:
Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: what’s up?
You: So guess what?
You: Miss Mandible wants to make love to me
Stranger: you are from japan
Stranger: china?
Stranger: asian
You: but she hesitates because I’m officially a child
Stranger: or same shit like that?
You: No, I’m American author.
Stranger: really?
Stranger: I am america too
You: I lived in Texas for a long while.
You: But in New York City, too.
Stranger: I am live in Goias
You: Listen: I am, according to the records, according to the gradebook on her desk
You: blah blah
You: eleven years old
You: But I’m not.
Stranger: …
You: There’s a misconception here that I haven’t quite managed to get cleared up yet.
You: I’m in fact thirty-five!
You: Srsly
Stranger: cool
You: And I’ve been in the Army.
Stranger: sad
You: I’m six foot one, have hair in the appropriate places,
You: My voice is barritone
Stranger: hahahaha
You: And believe me – I know what to do with Miss Manidible
Stranger: you are ugly?
You: if she ever makes up her mind.
You: Somewhat. In my publicity photos, I have a bushy beard.
Stranger: oh
You: I Bought A Little City
Stranger: i wanna suck your dick
You: Anyway, in the meantime, we’re studying common fractions.
Stranger: I am chick
You: I could, of course, answer all the questions
Stranger: i has 19 years old
You: (there are things I don’t remember)
Stranger: And i wanna be your first womam
Stranger: i has a nice pussy
You: Back to Miss Mandible!!!
You: She’s my first woman.
Stranger: no fuck off Miss mandible
You: Don’t make me call in an Indian Uprising.
Stranger: I want you baby
You: Sorry. My own allegiance, at the moment, is divided between Miss Mandible and Sue Ann Brownly —
Stranger: i so need a man
You: — who sits across the aisle from me all day long —
Stranger: i will find
Stranger: bye
red thats really funny. i like that the stranger says ‘you are ugly?’ im laughing. i want to do more of them now.
red thats really funny. i like that the stranger says ‘you are ugly?’ im laughing. i want to do more of them now.
Thanks. The site’s addictive. Now I’m just starting to riff.
Stranger: hi there
You: hey.
Stranger: m/f
You: h
You: I’m a horse.
You: A typing horse.
Stranger: u like getting ridden
You: That’s a good question.
You: Not really.
You: I’m more of a contemplative horse.
You: I’m an associate professor at a local community college.
Stranger: piss off so
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Thanks. The site’s addictive. Now I’m just starting to riff.
Stranger: hi there
You: hey.
Stranger: m/f
You: h
You: I’m a horse.
You: A typing horse.
Stranger: u like getting ridden
You: That’s a good question.
You: Not really.
You: I’m more of a contemplative horse.
You: I’m an associate professor at a local community college.
Stranger: piss off so
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
haha
haha
jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man
jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man
jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man
i don’t roll on shabbos
i don’t roll on shabbos
i don’t roll on shabbos
Shut the fuck up, Donny
Shut the fuck up, Donny
Shut the fuck up, Donny
Dude, there’s a beverage here
Dude, there’s a beverage here
Dude, there’s a beverage here
“Are you after the emerald?”
“Are you after the emerald?”
“Are you after the emerald?”
They’re not literally his children.
They’re not literally his children.
They’re not literally his children.
no funny stuff
no funny stuff
no funny stuff
Stranger: Hi
You: Smeedulum!
You: *Hello.
Stranger: What’s up?
You: Gork nagobbin; twell?
You: *Not much; you?
Stranger: Hi
You: Smeedulum!
You: *Hello.
Stranger: What’s up?
You: Gork nagobbin; twell?
You: *Not much; you?
Stranger: Hi
You: Smeedulum!
You: *Hello.
Stranger: What’s up?
You: Gork nagobbin; twell?
You: *Not much; you?
Then a disconnect; Stranger is not hot on the alien language translation game.
Then a disconnect; Stranger is not hot on the alien language translation game.
Then a disconnect; Stranger is not hot on the alien language translation game.
I had very weird conversation over there.
I’m actually interesting in all kind of Alternate Reality Games (which are for me more than a new Kind of entertainment, it’s new transmedial art). So this conversation ran in the direction of an ARG, even if I don’t really know, whether this character was really well written. Or perhaps he was really mental sick person?
Anyway, the beginning of our conversation was already disturbing:
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: where are you from?
Stranger: I don’t remember.
Stranger: Does it even matter?
You: No, it’s OK :-)
Stranger: Cool. I’m glad someone understands.
Stranger: So what are you doing right now?
You: I’m chatting with you :-)
Stranger: Awesome.
Stranger: Hey do you have any idea on how to remove blood stains?
You: blood stains?
You: perhaps with ice or so
You: are you OK there?
Stranger: Yeah, I’ve got some nasty ones on my wall.
Stranger: Don’t really remember how they got there.
Stranger: But ya know, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
He told me, he woke up and has no idea, what’s going on. His memory was gone.
Stranger: my memory is pretty good
Stranger: I remember my parents and all
Stranger: but when I get to the general information
Stranger: like where I’m from
Stranger: or how old I am
Stranger: it just slips away
Stranger: anyway I’m sure it’ll pass
Stranger: and now I’m feeling so ridiculous
Stranger: :P talking to a complete stranger
You: well, i have the same feeling :-)
You: but it’s OK, it’s normal
Stranger: Please, don’t leave just yet.
Stranger: I have this very bad feeling
Stranger: :/
You: no proble, I’m here
You: are you scared?
Stranger: not really, just a bit disoriented
And he has weird scribblings all over his table (he send me pics, it looked like schizophrenic drawings). Meanwhile a neighbour came and claimed, he were too loud with his TV. It was weird, because my anonymous friend hadn’t TV on, and he was the whole time quiet. (Perhaps something was happen short before we chatted? A cause for blood strains?)
I asked him, perhaps if he will check out his bookshelf, he could better recall his identity because of the books diversity. He agreed and these books were in his shelf:
*”the code book” by simon singh
*”the turing omnibus” by a. k. dewdney
*”brand new world” by huxley
*Goethe’s Faust
THAT was uncanny, since I have all of these books beside of “Turing Omnibus”.
Anyway, I brought with him 2 hours. If he was a “Puppet master” playing with me, it was pretty nice entertainment. If he was mental ill person and amnesiac, I hope I could help him with some time and understanding I spend for him.
I posted my experiences at the Unfiction boards
http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=618398#618398
but also experts couldn’t tell me, whether I was taken part in a game or in a conversation with a serial killer.
I had very weird conversation over there.
I’m actually interesting in all kind of Alternate Reality Games (which are for me more than a new Kind of entertainment, it’s new transmedial art). So this conversation ran in the direction of an ARG, even if I don’t really know, whether this character was really well written. Or perhaps he was really mental sick person?
Anyway, the beginning of our conversation was already disturbing:
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: where are you from?
Stranger: I don’t remember.
Stranger: Does it even matter?
You: No, it’s OK :-)
Stranger: Cool. I’m glad someone understands.
Stranger: So what are you doing right now?
You: I’m chatting with you :-)
Stranger: Awesome.
Stranger: Hey do you have any idea on how to remove blood stains?
You: blood stains?
You: perhaps with ice or so
You: are you OK there?
Stranger: Yeah, I’ve got some nasty ones on my wall.
Stranger: Don’t really remember how they got there.
Stranger: But ya know, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
He told me, he woke up and has no idea, what’s going on. His memory was gone.
Stranger: my memory is pretty good
Stranger: I remember my parents and all
Stranger: but when I get to the general information
Stranger: like where I’m from
Stranger: or how old I am
Stranger: it just slips away
Stranger: anyway I’m sure it’ll pass
Stranger: and now I’m feeling so ridiculous
Stranger: :P talking to a complete stranger
You: well, i have the same feeling :-)
You: but it’s OK, it’s normal
Stranger: Please, don’t leave just yet.
Stranger: I have this very bad feeling
Stranger: :/
You: no proble, I’m here
You: are you scared?
Stranger: not really, just a bit disoriented
And he has weird scribblings all over his table (he send me pics, it looked like schizophrenic drawings). Meanwhile a neighbour came and claimed, he were too loud with his TV. It was weird, because my anonymous friend hadn’t TV on, and he was the whole time quiet. (Perhaps something was happen short before we chatted? A cause for blood strains?)
I asked him, perhaps if he will check out his bookshelf, he could better recall his identity because of the books diversity. He agreed and these books were in his shelf:
*”the code book” by simon singh
*”the turing omnibus” by a. k. dewdney
*”brand new world” by huxley
*Goethe’s Faust
THAT was uncanny, since I have all of these books beside of “Turing Omnibus”.
Anyway, I brought with him 2 hours. If he was a “Puppet master” playing with me, it was pretty nice entertainment. If he was mental ill person and amnesiac, I hope I could help him with some time and understanding I spend for him.
I posted my experiences at the Unfiction boards
http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=618398#618398
but also experts couldn’t tell me, whether I was taken part in a game or in a conversation with a serial killer.
I had very weird conversation over there.
I’m actually interesting in all kind of Alternate Reality Games (which are for me more than a new Kind of entertainment, it’s new transmedial art). So this conversation ran in the direction of an ARG, even if I don’t really know, whether this character was really well written. Or perhaps he was really mental sick person?
Anyway, the beginning of our conversation was already disturbing:
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: where are you from?
Stranger: I don’t remember.
Stranger: Does it even matter?
You: No, it’s OK :-)
Stranger: Cool. I’m glad someone understands.
Stranger: So what are you doing right now?
You: I’m chatting with you :-)
Stranger: Awesome.
Stranger: Hey do you have any idea on how to remove blood stains?
You: blood stains?
You: perhaps with ice or so
You: are you OK there?
Stranger: Yeah, I’ve got some nasty ones on my wall.
Stranger: Don’t really remember how they got there.
Stranger: But ya know, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
He told me, he woke up and has no idea, what’s going on. His memory was gone.
Stranger: my memory is pretty good
Stranger: I remember my parents and all
Stranger: but when I get to the general information
Stranger: like where I’m from
Stranger: or how old I am
Stranger: it just slips away
Stranger: anyway I’m sure it’ll pass
Stranger: and now I’m feeling so ridiculous
Stranger: :P talking to a complete stranger
You: well, i have the same feeling :-)
You: but it’s OK, it’s normal
Stranger: Please, don’t leave just yet.
Stranger: I have this very bad feeling
Stranger: :/
You: no proble, I’m here
You: are you scared?
Stranger: not really, just a bit disoriented
And he has weird scribblings all over his table (he send me pics, it looked like schizophrenic drawings). Meanwhile a neighbour came and claimed, he were too loud with his TV. It was weird, because my anonymous friend hadn’t TV on, and he was the whole time quiet. (Perhaps something was happen short before we chatted? A cause for blood strains?)
I asked him, perhaps if he will check out his bookshelf, he could better recall his identity because of the books diversity. He agreed and these books were in his shelf:
*”the code book” by simon singh
*”the turing omnibus” by a. k. dewdney
*”brand new world” by huxley
*Goethe’s Faust
THAT was uncanny, since I have all of these books beside of “Turing Omnibus”.
Anyway, I brought with him 2 hours. If he was a “Puppet master” playing with me, it was pretty nice entertainment. If he was mental ill person and amnesiac, I hope I could help him with some time and understanding I spend for him.
I posted my experiences at the Unfiction boards
http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=618398#618398
but also experts couldn’t tell me, whether I was taken part in a game or in a conversation with a serial killer.
I have a mind blowing omegle chat today. About EE Cummings, htmlgiant, Sapir-Whorf-Theory and other literary meta-stuff. Omegle is not only masturbation.
http://merzerature.blogspot.com/2010/10/omegle-poem-literary-meta-discussion.html
http://www.sites-like-chat-roulette.com
Over 50 sites like Omegle/Chat-roulette, looks pretty promising.
Enjoy!