Vicarious MFA
The Vicarious MFA, Part One
Don’t let the economy stop you from getting that Creative Writing MFA you’ve always dreamed of! Or, maybe, do let it stop you and just get the knock-off version here. For this semester everyone reading this blog has a full scholarship to get a Vicarious MFA from me/Columbia. Tomorrow’s the first day of class, so I thought I might post a back-to-school warm up, in the Jimmy Chen fashion, using Google image search to find out what the internet thinks you can expect from your Creative Writing MFA.
Your new, narcissistic friends will always look like they’re posing for their (future) author photos.
Make sure you take advantage of free hot dog condiments because it’s probably the only meal you can afford today.
Get ready to have your stories torn apart by your workshop professor who brings in his dog to illustrate how worthless your work is.
i am excited about this as it develops :)
i am excited about this as it develops :)
i really disapprove of you using my picture in this post without contacting me first. i had that professionally commissioned for my resume as a headhunter in nyc, not for my first book cover! however if you’re willing to give me a free degree, i am willing to defer pressing any charges.
what’s my first assignment?
i really disapprove of you using my picture in this post without contacting me first. i had that professionally commissioned for my resume as a headhunter in nyc, not for my first book cover! however if you’re willing to give me a free degree, i am willing to defer pressing any charges.
what’s my first assignment?
Oh boy, who are my teachers? I hope we’re going to take a class with Richard Howard.
Oh boy, who are my teachers? I hope we’re going to take a class with Richard Howard.
Professors are: Paul Ellie, Francess Champagne (for psych), Jonathan Lethem, Amy Benson, Luisa Torrengrossa, and Richard Locke. Also maybe some field reports from a Zadie Smith seminar and a David Plante class. There’s also a lecture by John D’agata next week, and Joyce Carol Oates and James Wood will stop by later in the semester.
Professors are: Paul Ellie, Francess Champagne (for psych), Jonathan Lethem, Amy Benson, Luisa Torrengrossa, and Richard Locke. Also maybe some field reports from a Zadie Smith seminar and a David Plante class. There’s also a lecture by John D’agata next week, and Joyce Carol Oates and James Wood will stop by later in the semester.
i’m very jealous about you getting to work with Lethem! very jealous. if i wasn’t going into the last semester of my mfa i would try to trade programs with you for a semester.
i’m very jealous about you getting to work with Lethem! very jealous. if i wasn’t going into the last semester of my mfa i would try to trade programs with you for a semester.
that dude in the first photo is cute in the “I like to fuck guys from Darien that treat my like the maid” kind of way.
I loved JCO’s work on boxing as well as her ealy short stories, most specifically, “where are you going ,where have you been” and “upon the sweeping flood”. her husband just died- so sad- and she’s closing up ontario review press, i hear. it’s a shame. oh well, they had a good run. and maybe someone will take it over?
john d’agata, seriously?
fuck, i need to go to columbia and get a 2nd mfa
john d’agata, seriously?
fuck, i need to go to columbia and get a 2nd mfa
pr! thanks for the books. i emailed you, too, but you can never say thanks too many times. you’re a doll.
pr! thanks for the books. i emailed you, too, but you can never say thanks too many times. you’re a doll.
this is funny
I’m stoked
this is funny
I’m stoked
i like this.
i like this.
you are so welcom! I hope there will be something in the pile that you like-
that looks like a very good hot dog.
that looks like a very good hot dog.
the spilled contents of that hot dog look like how my brain fees right now.
the spilled contents of that hot dog look like how my brain fees right now.
*feels
damn work keyboard
*feels
damn work keyboard
that dude in the top picture is cute in that “let’s go to my mum’s place on the Vineyard, drink gin, and I’ll make you blow me and my brother” kind of way.
i didn’t know that was a “cute” quality to have, haha
i didn’t know that was a “cute” quality to have, haha
I’m just feeling it.
That dude in the top picture is cute in the, whispers, “I like that you’re white trash, now turn around” kind of way.
i was just teasing, i find it hilarious, keep it going!
i was just teasing, i find it hilarious, keep it going!
It is a picture of Justin, isn’t it?
(Actually it’s not. Or, I don’t think so.)
pr,
oh man. i just google image searched ‘justin taylor’
and these two gems came up
1
2
pr,
oh man. i just google image searched ‘justin taylor’
and these two gems came up
1
2
Those are great, Jereme!!! (I actually sort of know what Justin looks like, I’m just fuckin around.) Who knew Justin was cute in the “I like Morrisey and often weep” kind of way. When I thought he was (in that top photo) a “Oh yes, our house in Maine has been in my family for generations, oh, and rub my feet and then clip my nails, bitch” sort of way. Oh the many ways that Justin is cute!!!!!
I actually think Justin in very cute, and not in any of the silly ways I write about here. I’m just amusing myself. I assume you all know that.
BTW, that guy in the top picture? He looks like my husband.
eh your husband looks more rugged and less douchey.
eh your husband looks more rugged and less douchey.
Well, they both share that, je ne sais quoi, “When I was at New Haven, there was girl who worked in the dining hall that you remind me of…Candy? I think her name was Candy? Oh, and next time you come over, will you tell the doorman that you’re my cleaning lady? I just like to be discreet… ” quality.
yeah i bet that asshole pictured above is an avid squash player.
yeah i bet that asshole pictured above is an avid squash player.
i bet he knows what a tennis bracelet is.
i bet he knows what a tennis bracelet is.
Is a “tennis bracelet” one of those erotic life enhancers, or “sex toys” that you stick up your anus, and then pull out really slowly?
I’ve had WAAAY too much caffeine. Venus Williams just lost to some nobody. TV Sports and acting like an idiot on htmlgiant…aahhh…
Penis Williams is a dude.
Penis Williams is a dude.
Actually, the girl from Spain who just beat her was quite “butch” although tiny, in comparison to Venus. I think Venus is quite girly although 6/1. It was a great match. Big upset.
you have a warped view of femininity.
you have a warped view of femininity.
you might be thinking of Serena, her sister.
maybe. i don’t know much about those things.
maybe. i don’t know much about those things.
which one looks like michael clark duncan?
which one looks like michael clark duncan?
oh man! I got anal beads and tennis bracelet mixed up!
oh, you
wow, if my boss wasn’t here i’d be laughing hysterically
oh, you
wow, if my boss wasn’t here i’d be laughing hysterically
oh, fuck, thats rough.
rougher than using a tennis bracelet as anal beads?
rougher than using a tennis bracelet as anal beads?
Well- you’d have to give a ten minutes or so to do a “compare”. I’ll be back.
i’ll be timing you
i’ll be timing you
well they do make those crystal dildos
i’m sure there are diamond anal beads some where out there.
we are sick fucks. money magnifies.
well they do make those crystal dildos
i’m sure there are diamond anal beads some where out there.
we are sick fucks. money magnifies.
did we kill the thread or is pr just “taking her time”
did we kill the thread or is pr just “taking her time”
death by anal beading
death by anal beading
ouch!
ouch!
ahhhhhh, a nice discussion of pr’s anal beads. im ready to join the conversation.
ahhhhhh, a nice discussion of pr’s anal beads. im ready to join the conversation.
barry,
i hope for your sake and ours that you are not too late
barry,
i hope for your sake and ours that you are not too late
I love you guys.
right back at ya
right back at ya