Mark Baumer tried to get funds on Kickstarter to write 50 books in one year. It didn’t get funded. He’s writing them anyway and releasing them one at a time. You can read them online and you can buy them. I love Mark Baumer.
1. New online edition of Gigantic Magazine is now live for May.
2. DC’s exhibits 50 treehouses
3. Mark Baumer is walking and blogging across America from coast to coast (for real, he just started this weekend)
4. Amelia Gray’s constraint writing & media for this week at Everyday Genius
Dear Carl’s Jr.,
There are a little more than 1,000 Carl’s Jr. restaurants in the United States. I would like to visit each one this summer. Please give me one-thousand free meals to Carl’s Jr. If you do I will only eat Carl’s Jr. this summer. You know how sometimes old people talk about the ‘summer of love’? Someday, when I grow old, I would like to talk about ‘summer of carl’.
I have a friend. His name is ‘Karl’. I think I will ask him to change his name to ‘Carl’ if you give me one-thousand free meals to Carl’s Jr.
If you don’t give me one-thousand free meals to Carl’s Jr. I think I will kill a Chinaman. I just read this Hemingway book, To Have and Have Not, and a guy named Johnson stiffs this fisherman named Harry Morgan $800 and Harry doesn’t have any money so he kills a Chinaman. If you don’t give me one-thousand free meals to Carl’s Jr. I will be hungry and I will kill a Chinaman and eat him.
I’m looking at the Carl’s Jr. Wikipedia page. There is a picture of the Carl’s Jr. in Rancho Cordova, California. That sounds like a cool place. I’m glad you put a Carl’s Jr. in that town. I look forward to eating at Carl’s Jr. in Rancho Cordova.
The other day I was reading this book by James Baldwin about a black man who is in jail. It made me pause. I started thinking, “If Carl’s Jr. can afford to give me one-thousand free meals then they can afford to give some black man who just out of jail one-thousand free meals.” I think you should give me and a black man who just got out of jail one-thousand free meals each. The two of us will then drive around and eat at every Carl’s Jr. in the United States this summer. I will write a book about the experience. It will probably be a #1 best seller. Tyler Perry will buy the movie rights. The book will be called Summer of Carl. I think the black man will be named Carl. Tyler Perry will probably change the name of the book when he turns it into a movie. Maybe he will call it: Angry Black Woman Mouthing Carls.
Anyway, I think this is a good business proposal. I want to win a million dollars. Give it to me.
John Cusack or Jackson Curtis wrote a book called Farewell Atlantis. In the year 2012, according to the movie 2012, it will become the most famous book in the world. Everything I’ve read about Jackson Curtis leads me to believe he was very forward thinking. It was obvious from watching the movie that he had planned his rise in the publishing game long before the world came to an end and flooded and repositioned itself despite an original print run of less than 500 copies.
Here is a list of everything Jackson Curtis did to become the world’s most famous author. I’d like to point out that this list doubles as a nice how-to guide for becoming the most famous living author after the world has killed itself.
1. A few days before the end of the world wake up late and make excuses about the traffic when your ex-wife calls and asks why you having picked up the kids yet.
2. Take the limo when your Jeep doesn’t start.
3. Wave to the plastic surgeon dude who is boning your ex-wife only because his skills are important later in the movie.
4. Drive limo to Yellowstone National Park while singing songs with daughter in the front seat. Ignore your son in the backseat. He is being a little douche bag. Let him listen to the music. Don’t worry, he won’t be completely useless his whole life.
5. At Yellowstone, climb over fences marked with trespassing signs. Ignore the dead elks roasting on the former lake where you and your wife used to have sex.
6. Make friends with the head scientist for the United States who is leading up the investigation on the end of the world. This will only be possible if the head scientist’s father has already read your book and has given it to his son. Make sure the father of the head scientist investigating the end of the world has read your book before you trespass at Yellowstone.
7. Ask your daughter if she still wets the bed.
8. Hang out in Woody Harrelson’s camper. Take his last beer.
9. Bring kids home early when ex-wife freaks out over an earthquake at the supermarket.
10. Don’t believe the government when they say, “The worst is over.”