Benjamin Percy is a Writer I’d Like to Fuck
Benjamin Percy begs the question, do I have to like a writer’s writing to want to fuck him? Alas, I think the answer would be yes, but I would make an exception for Percy if I were to not like his writing. He’s that hot. Now, as it is, I really REALLY like his writing! So, the question is really moot. But, my point is, how smoking HOT is he? (I’ll get to his fiction in a minute). Here’s a bit from an interview in Bookslut that exemplifies one of the reasons I’d like to fuck him:
Some writers go for walks when they’re trying to work something out in their head. I go to the gym. Sometimes you need to get away from the keyboard and feel the blood flowing through your stiff limbs before the next idea comes hurtling toward you. So I pick up large pieces of metal and put them back down again.
The man has PIPES! As does his prose. Percy is an unabashedly masculine writer. A rich manliness oozes from not only his subject matter- war, guns, all sorts of men stuff–but also his prose style. I wouldn’t call him a “plain” writer; indeed, he can be very stylized, with an acute attention to the music of language. But his fiction feels honest and hard, like a dick in my hand should feel.
Check out this story here in pindeldyboz and this one here in Storyglossia. He has published in super fancy places like The Paris Review and Esquire, but I think it’s really cool that he’s found on sites like Storyglossia. Here is the first bit from the Storyglossia story, “The Hand”:
I found it last week. At first I mistook it for a glove. But it was a hand—a prosthetic hand—just lying there on the sidewalk. When I bent over to get a better look at it, I heard a woman say, “Watch out. That man is going to be sick.”
“No,” I said, my voice coming out angrier than I intended. “I’m not going to be sick.”
The woman—a big woman in a purple coat—eyed me suspiciously, ruefully. She looked a little like Robert DeNiro. By that I mean she had a tough sad face no man would ever want to kiss. As she moved away from me she clutched her purse tighter to her chest.
This is my effect on people, on women in particular.
- Photo Number Two, Because He’s that Hot
Now, there is much talk about his wife in the Bookslut interview. Like Tony O’Neill, another writer I”d like to fuck, I get the feeling he is uxorious and while that proves problematic in regard to my quest to fuck him, it is also a real turn-on. I love guys who love their wives. I find it really, really attractive. Lately, he’s gotten quite huge in the literary world- he’s teaching at Iowa, winning buttloads of awards and someone is making a movie from one of his stories. But, man, he so deserves it. That said, the thought of him in Steven Point, Wisconsin (where he used to teach), was really a sexy thought for me. I like to picture Ben in his garage in rural Wisconsin, underneath his car with some big ole tools in his hands, getting all greasy and dirty and getting his hands all calloused (there’s a mechanic in Binghamton, New York I’d like to fuck, too.) Anyway, Ben, next time I’m lowering myself onto my husband, I’m going to wear my eye mask thing I wear (because my husband still hasn’t hung blinds in our bedroom because he sucks with tools, unlike you), and pretend it’s your work worn hands gripping my hips. That’s right Ben, you.