Behind the Scenes
Fuck Twitter + Exploder
Hi, we’re on Twitter now.
Our bodies are changing. It is scary when our bodies start to change.
Like, your hair grows where before you just rubbed and rubbed
and ladies are more interested in you, and men,
and there is trouble brewing in the cistern
and you might bruise a knee if you cry too hard
yes, we are a changing
changing so hard everyday, it’s like pushups plus grease
i feel exploder
did you know i had a baby last year?
it’s what makes me angry and upset
i can sometimes do a post about how strong my back is
and sometimes i can post about Ricky Moody
to be honest, though, this website is just a hoax made of candy n paper,
designed to get Diane Wililams randy in her special spot
Diane Williams i think changes everyday too
though you never complained when she did that
Don’t fight! We came to make babies
and to eat those babies on crackers provided free of charge
by the goodwill of Cooper Renner and Lee Klein
and Restin Borstenseinsen
and Pimp C (RIP)
Crackerz! for Night Train Magazine!
Crackerz! for Ass Hi Books!
Crackerz! for Haypenny Magazine (RIP)!
Crackerz! for crackers like ya’ll bitches who all you wanna do is front
No really, tho. Let’s play Internet Publishing Mall Madness, n update what we eat on the Twitter, n buy a book sometime, with our monies
‘stead o’ just writin’ that shit all day n shit,
& like my friend Dave ‘future ex editor of NYer’ Shakur said, I get $$$ nigga
till I dead
** THIS POST SHOULD RECEIVE 200 COMMENTS, AS IT IS TRULY ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING **
sweet ‘ass hi’ plug bro
sweet ‘ass hi’ plug bro
sweet ‘ass hi’ plug bro
asians saying bro is awesome
asians saying bro is awesome
asians saying bro is awesome
mom and dad are fighting again
mom and dad are fighting again
mom and dad are fighting again
mom n dad r happy, dude
mom n dad r happy, dude
no more fighting ideas. just fun.
no more fighting ideas. just fun.
mom n dad r happy, dude
no more fighting ideas. just fun.
what happened to ass hi?
what happened to ass hi?
what happened to ass hi?
They say dirt and sunshine make the flowers grow
I say, fuck a bitch raw and drive your nut on the floor
They say dirt and sunshine make the flowers grow
I say, fuck a bitch raw and drive your nut on the floor
They say dirt and sunshine make the flowers grow
I say, fuck a bitch raw and drive your nut on the floor
i think it was just ‘finished,’ like if it were a novel it would be completed
ass hi is one of my most neglected projects, i feel
i might be willing to like make cognitive-behavioral therapy or some other book not exist and have ‘ass hi’ exist as a book
i feel nervous, not sure about that statement
something weird is happening today to me, i feel ‘extremely verbal’
i think it was just ‘finished,’ like if it were a novel it would be completed
ass hi is one of my most neglected projects, i feel
i might be willing to like make cognitive-behavioral therapy or some other book not exist and have ‘ass hi’ exist as a book
i feel nervous, not sure about that statement
something weird is happening today to me, i feel ‘extremely verbal’
blake this is such a good post.
blake this is such a good post.
i think it was just ‘finished,’ like if it were a novel it would be completed
ass hi is one of my most neglected projects, i feel
i might be willing to like make cognitive-behavioral therapy or some other book not exist and have ‘ass hi’ exist as a book
i feel nervous, not sure about that statement
something weird is happening today to me, i feel ‘extremely verbal’
blake this is such a good post.
yes, you are talking more than usual, but it is good.
i would like an ass hi compendium to read in the bathtub
i bet dennis would do it
yes, you are talking more than usual, but it is good.
i would like an ass hi compendium to read in the bathtub
i bet dennis would do it
you are one of my favorite people ever
you are one of my favorite people ever
yes, you are talking more than usual, but it is good.
i would like an ass hi compendium to read in the bathtub
i bet dennis would do it
you are one of my favorite people ever
just dance! if you caught up in the holy ghost trance
if you stop! ima put the killer ants in your pants
-ODB
just dance! if you caught up in the holy ghost trance
if you stop! ima put the killer ants in your pants
-ODB
just dance! if you caught up in the holy ghost trance
if you stop! ima put the killer ants in your pants
-ODB
yes. fuck yes.
yes. fuck yes.
tao, i miss ass hi too.
tao, i miss ass hi too.
yes. fuck yes.
tao, i miss ass hi too.
it’s okay to favorite.
smoochfest!
it’s okay to favorite.
smoochfest!
it’s okay to favorite.
smoochfest!
you can call my dirty
and then lift up your skirt
clap clap
you can call my dirty
and then lift up your skirt
clap clap
you can call my dirty
and then lift up your skirt
clap clap
mom and dad are doing it
mom and dad are doing it
mom and dad are doing it
fuck yeah bro
fuck yeah bro
fuck yeah bro
shit, i replied to the wrong comment. haha
shit, i replied to the wrong comment. haha
no wait i did reply to the right one. this comment indent thing is confusing.
no wait i did reply to the right one. this comment indent thing is confusing.
blake if you give me your number i will call you up
we will act like your pussy will not interrupt
i do not have any problems with you fucking me
i have several with you not fucking me
i will fucking kill you and i will not read your book
i didn’t mean that to sound harsh
i’m tired
blake you know i’ll take care of you baby
blake if you give me your number i will call you up
we will act like your pussy will not interrupt
i do not have any problems with you fucking me
i have several with you not fucking me
i will fucking kill you and i will not read your book
i didn’t mean that to sound harsh
i’m tired
blake you know i’ll take care of you baby
sup bro
sup bro
seriously can we get serious in here and whatnot
seriously can we get serious in here and whatnot
sasha wants to look pretty tho
in my video
sasha wants to look pretty tho
in my video
but really, who is the worst person on the internet and stuff
but really, who is the worst person on the internet and stuff
‘serious unserious’ ‘reverent irreverent’
‘serious unserious’ ‘reverent irreverent’
i was just trying to get you to 200.
sheesh.
LORDY.
i’ll talk about the worst person on the internet in the morning. i’m tired. and i think they’re going to make me detail clean the walls tomorrow.
also, who is the worst person on the internet? really? shit is vast dude! like the desert! who is this worst person in the desert? in the ocean. who is the worst person in the ocean. tilapia. because that shit tastes like water. but i mean, it has it’s values. i’m trying to be less judgmental. maybe this should have been a twitter, so i would have had to talk less.
hyphenate that shit man. serious-unserious. etc.
ken i do. i’m pretty vain. i’m not going to lie. i’m not saying this to seem self aware or be ironic. i don’t know how i feel exactly about being ironic, but i know i am trying to no be it very often, for mostly personal reasons, that mostly have to do with the boss.
blake boring people are the worst people on the internet. and bad writers. and people that don’t try to be better than they are. also i think falco. i think he is pretty far from being anything resembling good.
i was just trying to get you to 200.
sheesh.
LORDY.
i’ll talk about the worst person on the internet in the morning. i’m tired. and i think they’re going to make me detail clean the walls tomorrow.
also, who is the worst person on the internet? really? shit is vast dude! like the desert! who is this worst person in the desert? in the ocean. who is the worst person in the ocean. tilapia. because that shit tastes like water. but i mean, it has it’s values. i’m trying to be less judgmental. maybe this should have been a twitter, so i would have had to talk less.
hyphenate that shit man. serious-unserious. etc.
ken i do. i’m pretty vain. i’m not going to lie. i’m not saying this to seem self aware or be ironic. i don’t know how i feel exactly about being ironic, but i know i am trying to no be it very often, for mostly personal reasons, that mostly have to do with the boss.
blake boring people are the worst people on the internet. and bad writers. and people that don’t try to be better than they are. also i think falco. i think he is pretty far from being anything resembling good.
‘fuckers’
‘i enjoy being unknown’
‘fuckers’
‘i enjoy being unknown’
haha, im such a poser, what can i say. what the fuck is this.a twitter page has been started. ‘have to get with the times’ i suppose. you know what I enjoy. oh man. it’s already happened. you’re already following me on twitter, and yet, im not following you yet. I’m not following many people. But many people are following me. “I think I have reached fame.”
haha, im such a poser, what can i say. what the fuck is this.a twitter page has been started. ‘have to get with the times’ i suppose. you know what I enjoy. oh man. it’s already happened. you’re already following me on twitter, and yet, im not following you yet. I’m not following many people. But many people are following me. “I think I have reached fame.”
i liek you justin
and like you
i liek you justin
and like you
IM DRINKING A MILLER LITE, GOD DAMNIT.
IM DRINKING A MILLER LITE, GOD DAMNIT.
Hi. This comment should be on an older post, but I prefer staying on top.
I’m 36 years old. 36 x 2 = 72. Lots of people are dead by 72. That makes me middle-aged.
If Blake Butler ever threw a piece of candy at me, I’d cram it down his tear duct and he’d be crying Kit Kats for a month.
Does that come off as aggressive? Blake needs to be more sensitive to the middle-aged woman HTML Giant demographic. We are the target consumers. We rule the shelves at B&N. Cower.
Anyhow, I love the site, but am not a huge fan of the frat boy humor. Although I’m studying it as a window into the male psyche so I can be a better mother to my son. So it does have some value and relevance to my life.
Oh and best of luck on Twitter. Hope you go far.
Hi. This comment should be on an older post, but I prefer staying on top.
I’m 36 years old. 36 x 2 = 72. Lots of people are dead by 72. That makes me middle-aged.
If Blake Butler ever threw a piece of candy at me, I’d cram it down his tear duct and he’d be crying Kit Kats for a month.
Does that come off as aggressive? Blake needs to be more sensitive to the middle-aged woman HTML Giant demographic. We are the target consumers. We rule the shelves at B&N. Cower.
Anyhow, I love the site, but am not a huge fan of the frat boy humor. Although I’m studying it as a window into the male psyche so I can be a better mother to my son. So it does have some value and relevance to my life.
Oh and best of luck on Twitter. Hope you go far.
throwing candy is a compliment.
reb. you should know that.
i only throw candy at who i luv.
throwing candy is a compliment.
reb. you should know that.
i only throw candy at who i luv.
I’m too old to know that!
I’m too old to know that!
i am a candy monster.
if i didnt luv u, i would not throw candy at u.
i would through pockmarks.
also: i am a middle aged woman too.
i am a candy monster.
if i didnt luv u, i would not throw candy at u.
i would through pockmarks.
also: i am a middle aged woman too.
The only problem with Twitter is that lack of verbosity.
I want 140 paragraphs. Not pages. Just to say how I am. And try not to swear when doing so, just in case certain work colleagues are watching my Live Nervous Breakdown On The Internets Live And Direct From My Desk Now Now Now Oh Yes Give Me The Medication.
The only problem with Twitter is that lack of verbosity.
I want 140 paragraphs. Not pages. Just to say how I am. And try not to swear when doing so, just in case certain work colleagues are watching my Live Nervous Breakdown On The Internets Live And Direct From My Desk Now Now Now Oh Yes Give Me The Medication.
Pages? Characters. I meant characters. 140 Characters In Search Of A Reason, to misquote and probably ruin Luigi Pirandello.
Pages? Characters. I meant characters. 140 Characters In Search Of A Reason, to misquote and probably ruin Luigi Pirandello.
HTMLGIANT is hot in the reverse cowgirl sort of way.
HTMLGIANT is hot in the reverse cowgirl sort of way.
i prefer to fuck her from behind….that way she cant see me secretly watching the TV
i prefer to fuck her from behind….that way she cant see me secretly watching the TV
i feel like i want to be a contributor to the htmlgiant twitter account
i feel like i want to be a contributor to the htmlgiant twitter account
brandon, email me, i’ll give you the info
i think we will freely distribute the htmlgiant twitter
brandon, email me, i’ll give you the info
i think we will freely distribute the htmlgiant twitter
I’m glad Reb’s here. Hi, Reb. It’s nice to see you here. Sasha, lay off the crack.
I’m glad Reb’s here. Hi, Reb. It’s nice to see you here. Sasha, lay off the crack.
gigantic’s been on twitter, like, for the weeks now. get on the ball, blake. the internet literature magazine blog of the future is the past.
gigantic’s been on twitter, like, for the weeks now. get on the ball, blake. the internet literature magazine blog of the future is the past.
sup bra
sup bra
so wait — sam pink is gay?
if so, why was this not twitter’d about?
so wait — sam pink is gay?
if so, why was this not twitter’d about?
sasha,
i will sell you blake butler AWP soiled panties. please let me know your budget $$$ range.
sasha,
i will sell you blake butler AWP soiled panties. please let me know your budget $$$ range.
Only 48 comments? 49 now.
Quick, somebody say something negative about Tao Lin.
Only 48 comments? 49 now.
Quick, somebody say something negative about Tao Lin.
like walking into a bear trap
like walking into a bear trap
I will wage a war against Tao Lin. I hate American Apparel. Why would anyone want an AA affiliation? Jimmy has already waged a war against Tao, actually, now that I think about it. Okay, war unwaged. Never mind. (Sorry, Tao. I don’t even know you.)
I will wage a war against Tao Lin. I hate American Apparel. Why would anyone want an AA affiliation? Jimmy has already waged a war against Tao, actually, now that I think about it. Okay, war unwaged. Never mind. (Sorry, Tao. I don’t even know you.)
I think you go to war against tradition, realism and specificity by employing those tactics in a Jimmy Chenesque parody of an MFA program.
I think you go to war against tradition, realism and specificity by employing those tactics in a Jimmy Chenesque parody of an MFA program.
jereme, that’s weird and kind of gross.
molly, alright. fine. i’ll stop talking about odb. that seems fair and reasonable i guess maybe.
No, no, I really am writing a traditional story. See?
The story I am going to tell ends where it begins: with a dead squirrel in our potato salad on our picnic table in our backyard. Jim’s untying his Kiss the Chef apron, wadding it into a furious ball, unbuckling his belt with which, unless I intervene, he’ll whale on Corey, who is not his son, not our son, but my son from my first marriage–an endless source of trouble between Jim and me that often, daily basis often, becomes trouble for Corey. Today, though, Corey isn’t blameless. He’s got this look on his face like, “Ma, please do something,” but he’s also still holding Jim’s handgun, which he could only have stolen from Jim’s locked glove box, and the squirrel’s skull in our salad is leaking smoke. Yes, I know: boys shoot things, sure they do. I know that, and Jim knows that, too. But Corey didn’t aim at the squirrel. He pointed at Jim and missed. Twice.
jereme, that’s weird and kind of gross.
molly, alright. fine. i’ll stop talking about odb. that seems fair and reasonable i guess maybe.
No, no, I really am writing a traditional story. See?
The story I am going to tell ends where it begins: with a dead squirrel in our potato salad on our picnic table in our backyard. Jim’s untying his Kiss the Chef apron, wadding it into a furious ball, unbuckling his belt with which, unless I intervene, he’ll whale on Corey, who is not his son, not our son, but my son from my first marriage–an endless source of trouble between Jim and me that often, daily basis often, becomes trouble for Corey. Today, though, Corey isn’t blameless. He’s got this look on his face like, “Ma, please do something,” but he’s also still holding Jim’s handgun, which he could only have stolen from Jim’s locked glove box, and the squirrel’s skull in our salad is leaking smoke. Yes, I know: boys shoot things, sure they do. I know that, and Jim knows that, too. But Corey didn’t aim at the squirrel. He pointed at Jim and missed. Twice.
What is ODB?
What is ODB?
Awesome!
Awesome!
Enh, these are the types of comments that piss people off.
I Googled HTMLGIANT and for some reason my name appears beneath the first result. Do your names appear beneath the result if you Google HTMLGIANT? What’s that about? Shouldn’t it be Blake’s name, or one of the other contributor’s name?
Enh again, I’m totally over that realistic kick. I will not finish that “squirrel story.” It makes me want to vomit. So, it’s back to confusionism with me. Good-bye realism. And good-bye comments. I’m done for the day (the dia, adios).
Enh, these are the types of comments that piss people off.
I Googled HTMLGIANT and for some reason my name appears beneath the first result. Do your names appear beneath the result if you Google HTMLGIANT? What’s that about? Shouldn’t it be Blake’s name, or one of the other contributor’s name?
Enh again, I’m totally over that realistic kick. I will not finish that “squirrel story.” It makes me want to vomit. So, it’s back to confusionism with me. Good-bye realism. And good-bye comments. I’m done for the day (the dia, adios).
Alas!
Alas!
I googled HTMLGiant and got Brandon Scott Gorrell.
Why do people get mad about realism? Do the realists get mad about the confusionists?
It’s all writing. All of it can be good. Just try to enjoy all aspects of literature.
Damn it.
I googled HTMLGiant and got Brandon Scott Gorrell.
Why do people get mad about realism? Do the realists get mad about the confusionists?
It’s all writing. All of it can be good. Just try to enjoy all aspects of literature.
Damn it.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard
Ol’ Dirty Bastard