April 13th, 2010 / 3:04 pm
Behind the Scenes

Salesmen

I really don’t understand the hard sell approach used by certain authors/vendors in aggressively trying to push their goods. Though you may be able to cajole me into forking over $$ for your book at the bookfair (I am a pushover, often), you sweating and awkwarding me into doing so will only guarantee that though I have your book inside my house now, I will never read it, and will likely think of you only often thereafter in a gross light, thus netting you perhaps one book sold but a whole trajectory made mushy. Come on. Relax. Be cool. Things go around. Invest in yourself. Not all sales happen at the point of purchase, and better things are friends.

On a side note, in one instance this past weekend at the Denver book fair when I was shown a book and didn’t buy it, the presenter told his friend passive-aggressively toward me, “Oh, check out HTMLGIANT… it’s a great site, if you like sex and hyperbole and death.” I think he thought it was an insult. I got it tattooed on my thigh.

This one never gets old:

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37 Comments

  1. Lincoln

      Who doesn’t like sex, hyperbole and death? Preferably all three at once.

  2. Lincoln

      Who doesn’t like sex, hyperbole and death? Preferably all three at once.

  3. joseph

      I could actually go for more of each on here.

  4. joseph

      I could actually go for more of each on here.

  5. Jordan

      It is sad that Bill Hicks did not get to get old.

  6. Jordan

      It is sad that Bill Hicks did not get to get old.

  7. Brian Foley

      Im with you on the hard sell. Ive found it puts the browser into the fight or flight mode.

  8. Brian Foley

      Im with you on the hard sell. Ive found it puts the browser into the fight or flight mode.

  9. chris

      I had my pitch smoothed to a nice swallowable shape and size by mid day on saturday. Pretty sure I sold many more books because it was a calm pitch that was sure of the product, and if they didn’t want to buy I gave them a post card with the url on the back.

      I agree. Don’t push it on anyone. Just present it with confidence, believe in the thing you’re selling. If they don’t want to buy, they aren’t. If they do, they will. I’d rather sell to someone who wants it than put someone in a weird position where they feel guilted or pressured, forever tainting the product.

  10. chris

      I had my pitch smoothed to a nice swallowable shape and size by mid day on saturday. Pretty sure I sold many more books because it was a calm pitch that was sure of the product, and if they didn’t want to buy I gave them a post card with the url on the back.

      I agree. Don’t push it on anyone. Just present it with confidence, believe in the thing you’re selling. If they don’t want to buy, they aren’t. If they do, they will. I’d rather sell to someone who wants it than put someone in a weird position where they feel guilted or pressured, forever tainting the product.

  11. darby

      i think sometimes hyperbole induces the same response as a hard sell for me, they are similar means to different ends: hype and money. but i don’t distinguish between these ends quite so much, and if anything, i feel like someone shoving their sense of what they think i would want to read down my throat is the more intrusive act since it often comes in barked commands, and so implies im not in control of my own decision-making process. buy it. eat it. do something. you MUST read this OR ELSE. the verbage is always so absolute and intense it turns me off. someone stealing my money doesnt bother me as much. or it bothers me in a different, more pitiable way. its a more obvious sin, so a bit more forgivable. the hype end is probably more justifiable if we are comparing ends (and maybe that’s all we should be comparing), but both means are aggressive and dishonest. That both require slights-of-truth are enough to turn me away from both most of the time.

  12. darby

      i think sometimes hyperbole induces the same response as a hard sell for me, they are similar means to different ends: hype and money. but i don’t distinguish between these ends quite so much, and if anything, i feel like someone shoving their sense of what they think i would want to read down my throat is the more intrusive act since it often comes in barked commands, and so implies im not in control of my own decision-making process. buy it. eat it. do something. you MUST read this OR ELSE. the verbage is always so absolute and intense it turns me off. someone stealing my money doesnt bother me as much. or it bothers me in a different, more pitiable way. its a more obvious sin, so a bit more forgivable. the hype end is probably more justifiable if we are comparing ends (and maybe that’s all we should be comparing), but both means are aggressive and dishonest. That both require slights-of-truth are enough to turn me away from both most of the time.

  13. darby2

      well, you have to consider a hard sell is always one on one and hyperbole tends to be one on infinity. the responsibility to suss out reality falls onto the intended’s shoulders in a hyperbolic situation only because that responsibility is so shared, so distributed. i’d say your issue with hyperbole has more to do with your own naivety than the aggressive verbage of the hyperbolister.

  14. darby2

      well, you have to consider a hard sell is always one on one and hyperbole tends to be one on infinity. the responsibility to suss out reality falls onto the intended’s shoulders in a hyperbolic situation only because that responsibility is so shared, so distributed. i’d say your issue with hyperbole has more to do with your own naivety than the aggressive verbage of the hyperbolister.

  15. Vic Flagg

      Sell or die. Welcome to America, motherfucker.

  16. Vic Flagg

      Sell or die. Welcome to America, motherfucker.

  17. mike young

      i hope both of these are darby, darby!

      i like the idea of many darby permutations / it feels true to the mind

  18. mike young

      i hope both of these are darby, darby!

      i like the idea of many darby permutations / it feels true to the mind

  19. Sean

      Did Hicks charge admission?

      I don’t like the hard sell either. It feels creepy. I just like to stumble into books. I do like buying books though but I just want to drink and Amazon them or hear something from a friend or just by it because the cover makes me think of cheese.

  20. Sean

      Did Hicks charge admission?

      I don’t like the hard sell either. It feels creepy. I just like to stumble into books. I do like buying books though but I just want to drink and Amazon them or hear something from a friend or just by it because the cover makes me think of cheese.

  21. bl pawelek

      You want to know what it takes to sell real estate (or books)? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate (or books).

      But I am no salesman.

  22. bl pawelek

      You want to know what it takes to sell real estate (or books)? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate (or books).

      But I am no salesman.

  23. Blake Butler

      who said anything about not charging/buying?

  24. Blake Butler

      who said anything about not charging/buying?

  25. Donald

      surely you know that you can’t criticise something without also criticising everything related to it. it’s against the rules.

  26. Donald

      surely you know that you can’t criticise something without also criticising everything related to it. it’s against the rules.

  27. KevinS

      A round of champagne for everyone!

  28. KevinS

      A round of champagne for everyone!

  29. Blake Butler

      yess

  30. Blake Butler

      yess

  31. Sean

      Uh, you mentioned not buying in your post: “when I was shown a book and didn’t buy it…”

      That would be not buying, yes?

      And, BTW, you were shown ONE book and didn’t buy it. ONE. I would like to show you my book next.

      Not charging? I was referring to Mr. Hicks here. What he is saying about marketing is obvious. In fact, we’re so desensitized to his issue, it is not an issue. When I–a beer drinker–see that you have “The coldest beer in town!” I don’t call you a liar. I don’t consider it a cultural critique. Or even useful hyperbole. I yawn.

      I do recognize a comedian who actually addressees issues, and comedy is probably one of the last refuges where people can actually talk about what scares them to talk about (uh, race, for example). I will look at more Hicks clips. And decide.

  32. Sean

      Uh, you mentioned not buying in your post: “when I was shown a book and didn’t buy it…”

      That would be not buying, yes?

      And, BTW, you were shown ONE book and didn’t buy it. ONE. I would like to show you my book next.

      Not charging? I was referring to Mr. Hicks here. What he is saying about marketing is obvious. In fact, we’re so desensitized to his issue, it is not an issue. When I–a beer drinker–see that you have “The coldest beer in town!” I don’t call you a liar. I don’t consider it a cultural critique. Or even useful hyperbole. I yawn.

      I do recognize a comedian who actually addressees issues, and comedy is probably one of the last refuges where people can actually talk about what scares them to talk about (uh, race, for example). I will look at more Hicks clips. And decide.

  33. Glenn

      Sorry if I grossed you out by trying to get Rita Dove to subscribe to NANO Fiction.

  34. Glenn

      Sorry if I grossed you out by trying to get Rita Dove to subscribe to NANO Fiction.

  35. Accounting for Salesmen | GoodAccountingTips.com

      […] HTMLGIANT / Salesmen […]

  36. Evelyn Hampton

      Let’s see your tattoo.

  37. Evelyn Hampton

      Let’s see your tattoo.