Contests
ToBS R1: Facebook status updates re: present MS word count vs. Alcoholism
[Matchup #2 in Tournament of Bookshit]
OMG how I loathe the assbaitishness of your posts telling everyone how many words you’ve written. But I don’t know, maybe I should be like fucking thanking you, because by telling me how much you’ve written, I can be sure I will definitely never want to read what you publish when you finish it, if you finish it, since you seem so busy telling me how much you’ve written, and that takes time away from tweaking your shit. If you write 5,000 words, chances are that 4,950 of them are shit, and chances are even greater that the 50 you have left over are in the wrong order or something, and when you finally get those lined up right you will probably be able to lose half of those as well, so the word count of your status update itself turns out to have a higher word count than what you’ve really actually word doc-written, and it’s probably more interesting because at least your status update tells me how pathetic you are, something that whatever you’ve been word doc-writing happens to leave out, unforch.
Drinking rules, and I don’t believe in God. If drinking or getting high makes your short stint here on Earth an easier time to pass/place to be, then please make the time you have alive here fit you the snuggiest so you aren’t a dick/bitch to other people. If it takes you ingesting ten vodka tonics a night in order for you to not lash out at everyone and be an asshole every day, if three bottles of wine is what you need to not cry yourself to sleep every night, then you should drink all that shit. And then drink more. As long as you don’t start fucking up the lives of those around you with your weakness, it’s cool. But you must be able to handle your shit, otherwise I have no time for your shit. Same goes with drugs. Grow the fuck up.
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WINNER: Alcoholism
Tags: alcoholism, word count
You’re just jealous ofmy NaNoRiMo victory… some of us can’t keep up, and that’s okay, Gian. To some this is a competition. But to me it’s a race.
PS I’m sending it to you, page by page the INSTANT you open your submissions.
This is the most predictable win of the whole tournament.
this rules.
Wow I just lost…. Plus im guilty of updating my fb status with my MS word count. Terrible morning for me, I think I will have a drink once I’m done teaching.
no!
yesssssssssssssssssss
i need a drink
Yes, Gian.
“the word count of your status update itself turns out to have a higher word count than what you’ve really actually word doc-written”
The facebook word count thing, and the general bragging of every minor achievement, has made me despise every writer I know. Good job, social media.
(now to go tweet to everyone that I posted a comment on htmlgiant!)
Spoken like a true writer (sonuvabitch). Can’t help but love it.
i can’t believe i’m already out.
Is it possible to say NaNoRiMo out loud with a straight face?
It’s like a mouthful of karate chops.
You’re getting it too. One more day. 50K of pleasure in the pipeline.
2 for 2
Not actually talking about alcoholism will make it hard to beat “Alcoholism”.
Is that how it works? What if you have right calls later on?
I might have just fundamentally misunderstood some math.
I just looked at the brackets, I get it now, you are not out, you are just 0/63, THERE IS STILL HOPE.
Damn, these rock. This is going to be a good week. Fuck word count douche.
I’ve got Alcohol going all the way. What the fuck’s gonna beat it?
Tim, each time you don’t pick the winner, that next pair (‘forward’), for you, will have a ‘missing’ term–decreasing your chances, before the game is on, that next pairing. The earlier in the process that you (mis)call a loser, the more you’re crippled ‘forward’ in that bracket; picking something to go far that loses early is a major hobble. If anyone has early success, you need it, too – to compete with that person–unless that gal/guy gets wiped out the next round and your (fewer) winners carry on winning to the last couple of rounds. That might be what lily is referring to.
I understand that conceptually, but… this early in the game, isn’t there still a possibility that others could fuck up badly enough in later rounds that EVEN the “crippled” brackets have a chance of pulling ahead? I realize it’s all about probabilities and stuff.
Plus there’s still a shit ton of round 1 judgments forthcoming, missing 2 is nothing, really.
Fuck–“liked” when I wanted to reply. Okay – don’t want to ‘unlike’; actually do “Like”, despite dislike of the operation. Not sure about the new font; like that the “Reply” box is sized in accordance with the eventual reply.
Yes; way too early to throw in the towel. –but never to early to self-excoriate from and by remorse, ha ha ha.
here’s what i don’t like: when people put the word ‘like,’ like, all over the place. (for instance: “…maybe I should be like fucking thanking you…” fucking was sufficient; like fucking too much.) ‘like’ is like your dick: unless you want to destroy its appeal, best to be selective about the spaces you slip it in.
660 words in the last half hour.
Let’s all remember: it’s Alcoholism. And the Judge here is placing a caveat on the -ism part:
Which is why alcoholism is (or should be) going down at some point*.
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*64 words incl. html tags.
We treat our dicks differently, it seems
“Drinking rules, and I don’t believe in God.” is like my new favorite line of anything ever
NaNoWriMo is the rBGH of literature
So we were supposed to pick things we approve over things we disapprove? Whoops. I had ‘annoying facebook word count’ going all the way.
Alcoholism is going final 4
I hate it when people are dick/bitches
NaNoWriROIDS
Nice! Slash and burn.
art cop vs. awesome destructive power of the bad/mediocre novel somebody wrote
Nope.
JASON YOU FOOL ALCOHOLISM IS GOING TO THE FINAL FOUR
IT IS TRUE THAT IT RUINS SOME LIVES
THAT IS UNFORTUNATE
t r i l l
i just tagged you on fb. xo. haha.