December 1st, 2011 / 1:46 pm
 Contests

ToBS R1: work at Best Buy vs. undergrad Lit 101 adjunct

[Matchup #6 in Tournament of Bookshit]

BECAUSE OF DIRECT HORROR: THESE THOUGHTS CRIPPLE A FLAG AT THE SIGHT OF MONEY, THE WILL TO EXPLAIN, TO FLAP A SALE – I MEAN NIHILISM STANDS ABOVE THE FEELING ATHEISM TOO CLOSE TO ANY BELIEF I MEAN ALL GROUPS DON’T EXIST OUTSIDE THEIR DOOKIE NOTHING IS WORTH BUILDING A COMMUNITY ABOUT BECAUSE WE CAN’T STOP BEING PEOPLE SOME DISEASES ROCK YOU TOW THE LINE SKIPPING POPES DO THEIR FLEAS I AM SO FAR BELOW I AM THE SCALE CHAFED BY ASKING GREAT WRITERS I WILL FURTHER YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH MURDER HOLOCAUST WHATEVER SAYS ‘I AM’ SMOTHER YOUR SPERM BEFORE THEY EXIT SWIPE THE SLIT REAL WAG CONDUCT THE BABIES FROM YOUR ANUS DIP THEIR MUSIC PLEASE HUGS I ONLY WORSHIP ACCIDENTS AND CRACKROCK ANY ADULT WANTS TO CONVINCE YOUR MONIES HIS LACK OF DANCE MEANS WINNING ALL PHILOSOPHY IS CASTRATION ANYONE BORN IS A POSSIBLE RHETORICIAN AND MUST THEREFORE BE SHRED INSIDE THEIR CRIB PLEASE EMAIL ME (TANGOROBOT@GMAIL.COM) A LOCATION TO MEET THERE AND DISCUSS I AM WEAK AND ALWAYS ARMED MOTHERFUCK HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY?

– Sean Kilpatrick

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WINNER: BEST BUY

Tags: ,

15 Comments

  1. December 1st, 2011 / 1:58 pm Scott Riley Irvine—

      Oh shit, first place.

  2. December 1st, 2011 / 2:04 pm lorian long—

      I ONLY WORSHIP ACCIDENTS AND CRACKROCK

      i want sean kilpatrick to write my wedding vows

  3. December 1st, 2011 / 2:21 pm Frank Tas, the Raptor—

      Sean, this is great, and I love you, but I really needed you to pick adjunct.

  4. December 1st, 2011 / 2:27 pm Scott mcclanahan—

      This may be the first rational argument I’ve ever read.

  5. December 1st, 2011 / 2:31 pm Scott Riley Irvine—

      I’m not sure how anyone could see Works at Best Buy not winning this one.

  6. December 1st, 2011 / 2:44 pm Frank Tas, the Raptor—

      All the people I know who work at Best Buy either drive tricked-out Civics or take the study of electric bass way too seriously. I couldn’t honorably associate it with bookshit.

  7. December 1st, 2011 / 2:47 pm barry—

      sean, you motherfucker. respectfully, bg. 

  8. December 1st, 2011 / 2:49 pm Lincoln Michel—

      I’m surprised that only one person is 6/6 so far.

  9. December 1st, 2011 / 2:59 pm Nate—

      Already lost. ALREADY LOST.

  10. December 1st, 2011 / 4:04 pm Tummler—

      Killin’ it.

  11. December 1st, 2011 / 7:58 pm Leapsloth14—

      Where’s the love for adjuncts?

  12. December 5th, 2011 / 7:14 am Anonymous—

      phlpn.es/829r8s

  13. December 5th, 2011 / 7:35 am Anonymous—

      linkhide.com.ar/47632

  14. December 6th, 2011 / 12:28 pm Tournament of Bookshits | Full Stop—

      […] work at Best Buy vs. undergrad Lit 101 adjunct […]

  15. December 8th, 2011 / 1:41 pm ToBS R1: trolling for spelling errors in blog posts vs. changing your facebook picture daily | HTMLGIANT—

      […] someone (probably me) mentioned HTMLGIANT and Sean said something about being asked to write something for mean week and I said me too and for a few seconds we were both really excited, hoping one of us could help […]