January 19th, 2010 / 4:30 pm
Contests

When Authors Get Hungry

Death in Venison

War and Peas

The Flan Almost Rises

The Unbearable Lightness of Beans

Chow Mein Kampf

Moby Duck

Finnegans Wok

Animal Farm 2

Freshly rejected from McSweeney’s lists, oh how we all try. Figured I’d do something productive with it. More please — the person who does my favorite gets a “free” guest post on whatever they want, so long as it’s not mean spirited and not “not safe for wok.”

88 Comments

  1. Gian

      The Nagger of the Narcissus

  2. Gian

      The Nagger of the Narcissus

  3. rudderless

      Catsup on the Rye

      The Cod Delusion

      The Unbearable Lightness of Beignets

      To Grill a Mockingbird

      A Confederacy of Dunkins’

  4. rudderless

      Catsup on the Rye

      The Cod Delusion

      The Unbearable Lightness of Beignets

      To Grill a Mockingbird

      A Confederacy of Dunkins’

  5. Joseph Young

      For Whom the Bell Tolls

  6. Joseph Young

      For Whom the Bell Tolls

  7. Vee Dee

      White Nicoise

      The Restraint of Beets

      The Bonfire of the Crudites

      London Field Greens

      Fight Club Sandwich

      James Michener’s Baked Alaska

      Jonathan Livingston Chilean Sea Bass

      Will You Please Pass the Hummus, Please?

  8. Vee Dee

      White Nicoise

      The Restraint of Beets

      The Bonfire of the Crudites

      London Field Greens

      Fight Club Sandwich

      James Michener’s Baked Alaska

      Jonathan Livingston Chilean Sea Bass

      Will You Please Pass the Hummus, Please?

  9. Vee Dee

      What We Talk About When We Talk About Spuds

      The English Muffin

      On the Roll

  10. Vee Dee

      What We Talk About When We Talk About Spuds

      The English Muffin

      On the Roll

  11. Vee Dee

      Fear and Loathing in Mostacholi

  12. Vee Dee

      Fear and Loathing in Mostacholi

  13. david

      Interrogative Food

      PoBoy’s Complaint

  14. david

      Interrogative Food

      PoBoy’s Complaint

  15. .

      Ham on Pie.

  16. .

      Ham on Pie.

  17. .

      iseewhatyoudidthere

  18. .

      iseewhatyoudidthere

  19. davidpeak

      A Jello Course

      We Did Corn

  20. davidpeak

      A Jello Course

      We Did Corn

  21. davidpeak

      the lamb shank redemption

  22. davidpeak

      the lamb shank redemption

  23. davidpeak

      The Man Who Was Thirsty

  24. davidpeak

      The Man Who Was Thirsty

  25. dan

      a heartbreaking work of staggering potato

      the scarlet lentils

      tender is the veal

      to eat a mockingbird

      the collected sandwiches of frank o’hara

      fellowship of the onion ring

      one hundred beefs of solitude

      if upon a winter’s night a chicken pot pie

      the buffet is illuminated

      i am going to clone a sheep then kill the sheep and eat it

      you are a little bit hungrier than i am

      scorch apple

      slaughterhouse beef

  26. dan

      a heartbreaking work of staggering potato

      the scarlet lentils

      tender is the veal

      to eat a mockingbird

      the collected sandwiches of frank o’hara

      fellowship of the onion ring

      one hundred beefs of solitude

      if upon a winter’s night a chicken pot pie

      the buffet is illuminated

      i am going to clone a sheep then kill the sheep and eat it

      you are a little bit hungrier than i am

      scorch apple

      slaughterhouse beef

  27. Merzmensch

      Ulyssauce
      House of Beefs
      Lord of Onion Rings

      Or, if you want, a magazine “Be-liver sausage”

  28. a moorad

      lord of the onion rings
      the bakers karamazov
      the lord of the fries
      of rice and men
      life of pie

      wow. this is really fun…

  29. Merzmensch

      Ulyssauce
      House of Beefs
      Lord of Onion Rings

      Or, if you want, a magazine “Be-liver sausage”

  30. a moorad

      lord of the onion rings
      the bakers karamazov
      the lord of the fries
      of rice and men
      life of pie

      wow. this is really fun…

  31. a moorad

      opps – sorry Merzmensch.

  32. a moorad

      opps – sorry Merzmensch.

  33. davidpeak

      With Beer

  34. davidpeak

      With Beer

  35. S.P.

      House of Olives

      The Bluest Pie

      Flatbreadland

      Moby Spotted Dick

      The Audacity of Soup

      Scrumptiousness: a User’s Guide

      Kitchen in the Rye

      The Right Stuffed Mushrooms

      The Last Samosa

      100 Years of Soul Food

      Love in the Time of Cauliflower

      Distant Starkist

      The Savage Confections

  36. S.P.

      House of Olives

      The Bluest Pie

      Flatbreadland

      Moby Spotted Dick

      The Audacity of Soup

      Scrumptiousness: a User’s Guide

      Kitchen in the Rye

      The Right Stuffed Mushrooms

      The Last Samosa

      100 Years of Soul Food

      Love in the Time of Cauliflower

      Distant Starkist

      The Savage Confections

  37. Merzmensch

      No problem :-)
      That’s, what C.G.Jung calls “synchronism”

  38. Sean

      Making Shapely Gravy

      A Farewell to Yams

      To Kill and Lightly Saute a Mockingbird

      As I Lay Eating

      Finnegan’s Cake

  39. Merzmensch

      No problem :-)
      That’s, what C.G.Jung calls “synchronism”

  40. Sean

      Making Shapely Gravy

      A Farewell to Yams

      To Kill and Lightly Saute a Mockingbird

      As I Lay Eating

      Finnegan’s Cake

  41. mimi

      McSweeney’s, eat your heart out.
      That’s not a title, that’s a comment!

  42. mimi

      McSweeney’s, eat your heart out.
      That’s not a title, that’s a comment!

  43. seth

      The Holy Liable

      Shoplifting from American Psycho

  44. seth

      The Holy Liable

      Shoplifting from American Psycho

  45. Slowstudies

      TRISTRAM SANDWICH

      GILES GOAT-CHEESE

      THE GRAPES OF WRATH

  46. Slowstudies

      TRISTRAM SANDWICH

      GILES GOAT-CHEESE

      THE GRAPES OF WRATH

  47. Brooks Sterritt

      A Supposedly Outstanding Pâté I’ll Never Order Again
      A Handful of Crust
      The Man Who Loved Chitterlings
      One Flew Into the Glutton’s Mouth
      The Bottom Feeder Who Thought He Was Scrod
      Rabbit, Roast
      Falafels Fall Apart
      Bacon and Fixins
      The Brief Wondrous Shelf Life of a Tub of Cottage Cheese
      A Good Scent from a Strange Oven
      Kamby Bologna Lean Liver

  48. Brooks Sterritt

      A Supposedly Outstanding Pâté I’ll Never Order Again
      A Handful of Crust
      The Man Who Loved Chitterlings
      One Flew Into the Glutton’s Mouth
      The Bottom Feeder Who Thought He Was Scrod
      Rabbit, Roast
      Falafels Fall Apart
      Bacon and Fixins
      The Brief Wondrous Shelf Life of a Tub of Cottage Cheese
      A Good Scent from a Strange Oven
      Kamby Bologna Lean Liver

  49. Brooks Sterritt

      ! I meant *The Bottom Feeder Who Wanted To Be Scrod

  50. Brooks Sterritt

      ! I meant *The Bottom Feeder Who Wanted To Be Scrod

  51. tkm

      The Remains of the Danish
      The Diary of Anne’s Frankfurter
      If On a Winter’s Night a Travel Mug
      How to Win Friends and Eat People: Essays on Cannibalism
      Babka on the Shore
      In Search of Lost Fries
      Gravity’s Rainbow Sprinkles
      The Brief and Wondrous Life of Bambi’s Mom

  52. tkm

      The Remains of the Danish
      The Diary of Anne’s Frankfurter
      If On a Winter’s Night a Travel Mug
      How to Win Friends and Eat People: Essays on Cannibalism
      Babka on the Shore
      In Search of Lost Fries
      Gravity’s Rainbow Sprinkles
      The Brief and Wondrous Life of Bambi’s Mom

  53. tao

      i like ‘chow mein kampf’

  54. tao

      i like ‘chow mein kampf’

  55. mimi

      Infinite IndiJestion
      Zeituna, by Dave “Over Easy” Eggers
      A Million Little Pizzas

  56. mimi

      Infinite IndiJestion
      Zeituna, by Dave “Over Easy” Eggers
      A Million Little Pizzas

  57. Nate

      Bird Recipes of America
      A Good Sandwich is Hard to Find
      Everything is Illuminated Under Heat Lamps at McDonald’s

  58. Nate

      Bird Recipes of America
      A Good Sandwich is Hard to Find
      Everything is Illuminated Under Heat Lamps at McDonald’s

  59. darby

      naked lunch
      the grapes of wrath
      breakfast of champions
      ham on rye
      in watermelon sugar

  60. darby

      naked lunch
      the grapes of wrath
      breakfast of champions
      ham on rye
      in watermelon sugar

  61. darby

      i think to grill a mockingbird is my favorite.

  62. darby

      i think to grill a mockingbird is my favorite.

  63. Ross Brighton

      I don’t have any Pizza so shut up, or social romanticism

      The Cheese Orgy (that’s appropriated, Linh Dinh)

      The Tennis Court Okra

      The Death of Bunny Calzone

      And the Ass saw the Angel, and ate the Angel

      Yeast of Eden

      The Good German Sausage

      Rupert the Beer

  64. Ross Brighton

      I don’t have any Pizza so shut up, or social romanticism

      The Cheese Orgy (that’s appropriated, Linh Dinh)

      The Tennis Court Okra

      The Death of Bunny Calzone

      And the Ass saw the Angel, and ate the Angel

      Yeast of Eden

      The Good German Sausage

      Rupert the Beer

  65. S.P.

      Aristruedel’s Poetictacs
      A Beef History of Thyme
      Bleu the Cooking Class
      Nineteen-Eighty-Fortune Cookies
      Cookwith Orange
      The Oxtail Children
      Tipping the Red Velvet Cake
      Draculatte
      Springrolls and All
      The Secret Garden Salad
      The Rocky Road
      All the Pretty Courses
      The Fifty-Year Swordfish
      Voltiramisu’s Candied
      Oedible Rex
      Republic my Plato

  66. S.P.

      Aristruedel’s Poetictacs
      A Beef History of Thyme
      Bleu the Cooking Class
      Nineteen-Eighty-Fortune Cookies
      Cookwith Orange
      The Oxtail Children
      Tipping the Red Velvet Cake
      Draculatte
      Springrolls and All
      The Secret Garden Salad
      The Rocky Road
      All the Pretty Courses
      The Fifty-Year Swordfish
      Voltiramisu’s Candied
      Oedible Rex
      Republic my Plato

  67. Ashie

      Romeo and Julie ate

      The Merchant of Venison

      Pear I diced lost

      The Croissant of Ham

      Middlemargarine

      Tart of Darkness

      The Fetamorphosis

      The Taste Land

  68. Ashie

      Romeo and Julie ate

      The Merchant of Venison

      Pear I diced lost

      The Croissant of Ham

      Middlemargarine

      Tart of Darkness

      The Fetamorphosis

      The Taste Land

  69. Ashie

      Song of Salmon

      Vat’s Ladle

      Lolitater tot

      The Hobbite

      Of Human Bondaged cheddar

      Tartarzan of the Crepes

      Don Quihotlinks

  70. Ashie

      Song of Salmon

      Vat’s Ladle

      Lolitater tot

      The Hobbite

      Of Human Bondaged cheddar

      Tartarzan of the Crepes

      Don Quihotlinks

  71. dan

      great beefs

      catcher in the beef

      beef 22

      breakfast of beef

      no beef for old men

      the diving beef and the butterbeef

      fahrenheit beef

      we beef me apart

      beef4 you she was a pitbull

      beef everybody

      a good man is hard to beef

      the beef suit

      a beef horse

      everything was fine until beef

      what is the beef

      the beef songs

      the battlefield where the moon says i love beef

      beef boxes

      beef mustache

      beef in the trees

      in cold beef

  72. dan

      great beefs

      catcher in the beef

      beef 22

      breakfast of beef

      no beef for old men

      the diving beef and the butterbeef

      fahrenheit beef

      we beef me apart

      beef4 you she was a pitbull

      beef everybody

      a good man is hard to beef

      the beef suit

      a beef horse

      everything was fine until beef

      what is the beef

      the beef songs

      the battlefield where the moon says i love beef

      beef boxes

      beef mustache

      beef in the trees

      in cold beef

  73. Jesse Hudson

      This is awesome!

  74. Jesse Hudson

      This is awesome!

  75. mark

      the calvino is so great.

  76. mark

      the calvino is so great.

  77. Jen-sized - Because I love parody and food.

      […] When Authors Get Hungry, from HTMLGIANT. var addthis_pub = ''; var addthis_language = 'en';var addthis_options = 'email, favorites, digg, delicious, myspace, google, facebook, reddit, live, more'; […]

  78. Almanacco del Giorno – 19 Jan. 2010 « Almanacco Americano

      […] HTML Giant – When Authors Get Hungry […]

  79. Matthew Simmons

      ya’ da bes’, jimmy.

  80. Matthew Simmons

      ya’ da bes’, jimmy.

  81. Tom Kendall

      a nice day for banana bread.

  82. Tom Kendall

      a nice day for banana bread.

  83. Sheldon Lee Compton

      A Feast of Snacks

  84. Sheldon Lee Compton

      A Feast of Snacks

  85. Chris Killen

      Chilli Scenes of Winter
      A Cake at the Top of the Stairs
      Pear and Trembling
      A French Fry in the House of Love
      The Master and a Margarita Pizza
      Pan-Fried (by Knut Hamsun)
      A Food School
      Norwegian Food
      Cold Water Biscuits
      The Yeast-er Parade
      Hangover Rice Crispie Square(s)
      The Faber Book of Contemporary Stories about Childfood
      At Swim-Two-Burgers
      Letters to a Young Poached Egg
      The Burgers Karamazov

  86. Chris Killen

      Chilli Scenes of Winter
      A Cake at the Top of the Stairs
      Pear and Trembling
      A French Fry in the House of Love
      The Master and a Margarita Pizza
      Pan-Fried (by Knut Hamsun)
      A Food School
      Norwegian Food
      Cold Water Biscuits
      The Yeast-er Parade
      Hangover Rice Crispie Square(s)
      The Faber Book of Contemporary Stories about Childfood
      At Swim-Two-Burgers
      Letters to a Young Poached Egg
      The Burgers Karamazov

  87. Ryan Call

      Dear Mr. Compote

  88. Ryan Call

      Dear Mr. Compote