Craft Notes
Dick Context
Last night I told a male co-worker slash friend that I had a lot of good meat for him. I was in a hurry to give away CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) meat that my wife had ordered from an expensive organic farm, as I didn’t want it to go bad like our previous batch. This morning I re-read the text and realized the innuendos, if taken without context. My co-worker slash friend had never received a call or text from me; I had his phone number for some incidental reason. My co-worker slash friend does not know that I am not a homosexual or pervert. I am just a guy he works with, a guy who one night abruptly told him that he had a lot of good meat for him. This morning I texted him explaining that the “good meat” was not my penis, in a diplomatic way that did not explicitly mention my penis. Words have meaning, but so do the areas around those words. There were some wieners though, so cosmic/semantic harmony is not completely lost on us.
i intitially read the title of this post as ‘dick contest.’ what does that ‘say’ about [ ]?
i hereby lose the dick contest. please, keep your rulers in the drawer.
You could have followed with “no homo” or simply “pause.” We stand on the shoulders of giants.
it’s weird that you signed your name to the txt with a comma. that seems like you were fishing to yourself
‘txt accidents’
Bree-l-i-ant. More!
I do this sort of thing consistently in conversation. Teaching seems to bring it out even more.
I heard that a co-worker once announced during a public program in front of a large audience that “the guest speakers will be joining me later for a threesome on stage.”
yeah. i read that as a text Jimmy had received because of that.
Just snorted beer out my nose
i intitially read the title of this post as ‘dick contest.’ what does that ‘say’ about [ ]?
i hereby lose the dick contest. please, keep your rulers in the drawer.
You could have followed with “no homo” or simply “pause.” We stand on the shoulders of giants.
it’s weird that you signed your name to the txt with a comma. that seems like you were fishing to yourself
‘txt accidents’
Bree-l-i-ant. More!
I do this sort of thing consistently in conversation. Teaching seems to bring it out even more.
I heard that a co-worker once announced during a public program in front of a large audience that “the guest speakers will be joining me later for a threesome on stage.”
yeah. i read that as a text Jimmy had received because of that.
Just snorted beer out my nose
It’s just such a funny text to have sent, especially as a “first text.” I applaud you. I wish I would send my acquaintances more ambiguous sexually suggestive texts. I wish his response would have been “Give me your meat, up my ass,” but then have it turn out to be that he totally didn’t mean what that sounded like, and there was a perfectly logical explanation for it, and with that he was really just meaning to say, “yes, I would love to have some of your extra CSA meats.”
It’s just such a funny text to have sent, especially as a “first text.” I applaud you. I wish I would send my acquaintances more ambiguous sexually suggestive texts. I wish his response would have been “Give me your meat, up my ass,” but then have it turn out to be that he totally didn’t mean what that sounded like, and there was a perfectly logical explanation for it, and with that he was really just meaning to say, “yes, I would love to have some of your extra CSA meats.”
Oh dear. To me that twelve hour pause looks very incriminating…
Then mentioning the wife the same way my hairdresser mentions his wife ( WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A PHOTO? OF MY FEMALE WIFE?)
Plus the too-tidy wrap-up, as if you are afraid he might ask to see the…meat.
:-/
hahahahhaahhha…best laugh of the day, thanks y’all
Can’t wait for you to see him at work Monday.
Oh dear. To me that twelve hour pause looks very incriminating…
Then mentioning the wife the same way my hairdresser mentions his wife ( WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A PHOTO? OF MY FEMALE WIFE?)
Plus the too-tidy wrap-up, as if you are afraid he might ask to see the…meat.
:-/
hahahahhaahhha…best laugh of the day, thanks y’all
Can’t wait for you to see him at work Monday.
I can not use the word “balls” in conversation and keep a straight face.
Especially when the words “how many” are also in the sentence.
(“How many balls do I need to knit this sweater?”)
It’s ridiculous.
Same thing with “nuts”.
(“raw”, “salty”, “in my salad”)
I can not use the word “balls” in conversation and keep a straight face.
Especially when the words “how many” are also in the sentence.
(“How many balls do I need to knit this sweater?”)
It’s ridiculous.
Same thing with “nuts”.
(“raw”, “salty”, “in my salad”)