October 27th, 2010 / 11:58 am
Mean

Two Obituaries: Glimmer Train and Tin House

Glimmer Train (1990 – October 2010) Respected literary magazine Glimmer Train died of exhaustion yesterday evening, having finally succumbed to the strain of ‘going full steam ahead’ to ‘present stories in a handsome physical publication that people would keep.’ The literary community will fondly keep alive the memory of Glimmer Train by storing the colorfully illustrated issues in English Department libraries across the country. Glimmer Train is survived by its two founding editors, sisters Susan and Linda, and by approximately 22,250 contest finalists, many of whom will console themselves by listing the meaningless accolade in their submission cover letters. Funeral services will be held on Saturday, October 30th, 2010 at 2:30 PM, 1211 Glisan Street, Suite 207, Portland, OR 97209. Glimmer Train will be buried next to its siblings, Iron Horse Literary Review and Night Train, may they all rest in peace.

Tin House (May 1999 – October 2010) Bi-coastal purveyor of literary culture, Tin House passed away on Monday after a long battle with alcoholism. Tin House will be remembered for its tin-sided Portland office, now an iconic landmark to many literary acolytes; its popular writer’s conference, at which authors could add their voice to the desperate din; and its less popular ‘New Voices’ magazine feature, occasional evidence of the staff’s tin ear. Memorial services (Theme TBA) to be held Sunday on the hallowed grounds of Reed College, Steve Almond officiating. In lieu of flowers, please send receipts of your latest purchases from a bookstore. If you cannot provide a receipt, please send a written explanation in 100 words or less.

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12 Comments

  1. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      lol Steve Almond officiating.

      One time on April Fools Day I told a bunch of people in the Zoetrope Virtual Studio that one of the Glimmer Train sisters had just died in a car accident, and some of them believed me and then got really mad later.

  2. mdbell79

      I knew Glimmer Train was on the way out once they picked Ryan Call as a “finalist” for one of their contests several years ago. I mean, come on!

  3. Ryan Call

      guilty as charged, mr bell. i also have been to tin houses conference and loved it!

  4. Richard Thomas

      “n lieu of flowers, please send receipts of your latest purchases from a bookstore. If you cannot provide a receipt, please send a written explanation in 100 words or less.”

      ^ this right here, hilarious – good stuff, ryan

  5. BAC

      “many of whom will console themselves by listing the meaningless accolade in their submission cover letters”

      brilliant

  6. chris r

      definitely good stuff.

  7. TCH

      Is this for real?

  8. Blake Butler

      yes, TCH, i am sorry to report, it is real

  9. TCH

      Weird because the Glimmer Train newsletter just came via email today….it lists the latest winners and the deadlines for submissions for November!

  10. Dl Berghuis13

      I electronically submitted a story to Glimmer Train on Nov. 8, 2010. I also electronically sent the $15 per story reading fee. Now what? Willl Glimmer Train be publishing the issue I was submitting for, or will they return my reading fee?

  11. Dl Berghuis13

      I electronically submitted a story to Glimmer Train on Nov. 8, 2010. I also electronically sent the $15 per story reading fee. Now what? Willl Glimmer Train be publishing the issue I was submitting for, or will they return my reading fee?

  12. Dl Berghuis13

      I think some numb head is playing a joke on serious writers. Frankly, I did not appreciate it and did not find it particularly funny. But I did fall for it—hook . line and sinker.