Sorry to be picking on my hometown blog commenters here, but seriously, does no one understand meter?

I mean, I know I’m just a fiction writer and all, but I at least sort of get it. I think. Maybe I shouldn’t let this get to me, but we’re only talking about a couple of syllables here. And it’s not like the limerick is a sestina or something. It’s really not that complicated.

There once was a man with a stein,
Who thought Coors Light was just fine,
‘Till his friend said “fuck it,
just drink out of the Honey Bucket
you’ll think that shit is wine.”
Posted by Skip on August 25, 2010 at 11:29 am

There once was a man with a stein
Who thought THAT Coors Light was just fine
‘Til his friend, he said “Fuck it,
Drink from that Honey Bucket,
And I’m sure you’ll think that shit is wine.

The mustachioed man is called Flanigan,
And his friend just got back from the Vatican.
They got loaded drunk,
In the mornin’ they stunk,
And they shouted, “let’s go do THAT again!”
Posted by gaybabyjesus on August 26, 2010 at 9:40 am

The mustachioed man is called Flanigan
And his friend just got back from the Vatican [meh]
They BOTH got loaded drunk.
In the morning, they stunk.
And they shouted, “Let’s go AND do THAT again.”

there once was a man from nantucket
standing next to a honey bucket
he drank shitty beer
’til he felt a bit queer
and he let his mustachioed friend suck it
Posted by taint on August 27, 2010 at 11:07 am

There once was a man from Nantucket
Standing next to a BLUE Honey Bucket.
He drank shitty beer
‘Til he felt a bit queer,
And then let his mustach’oed friend suck it.

There once stood two creepy ass guys.
And one just got fucked in the eye.
Don’t worry , my friend,
This isn’t the end,
I’ll lick it, so it won’t go dry.
Posted by Auntie Roach on August 31, 2010 at 3:27 pm

There once stood two creepy ass guys,
And THIS one had got fucked in his eye [again, meh]
“Don’t YOU worry, my friend,
This HERE isn’t the end,
I WILL lick it so it won’t go dry.

These two men are friends from the Navy
The pirate his first name is Davey
They drink to the pope though they know he’s a dope
Later they’ll have a butt-baby
Posted by jtwankerschmidt on September 1, 2010 at 9:56 am

These two men are friends from the Navy
The pirate, his first name is Davey
They drink to the pope,
Though they know he’s a dope.
AND THEN later, they’ll have a butt baby.

See?