April 30th, 2011 / 8:34 pm

Cat muses

Catistentialism is nothing more than their attempt to ruin a coherent couch, as mine is now littered with hair, hair balls, passive aggressive affection, and evil looks. Man plunges into the couch next to cat, and into despair. To have a cat fight catistentially, which is talking at one’s mirror regarding a neglected litter box, is not to use the word in its original sense. To show that God doesn’t exist may be to show that each unique defecus combed and mined from a litter box does, each piece’s existence preceding its essence. Now that we believe God doesn’t exist, we are assured that our despair can only be mitigated by feeling hairs which have yet to be collected into a hair ball by a brash milk lapping tongue, asexual at best, whose host’s eyes see straighter than the author’s.


Here I am alone again…well, there is my newly sleepy tabby but still…poor Madame Paillart must be wondering where her feline companion is, her wretched face as cavernous as a dried cranberry or walnut. I wish the storm would make even more of a clatter…the rain on my roof as falling teeth from a thousand old men…I don’t know how to write anymore…everyone is so far away .

I will name her Cousin, after Aunt Villvard’s first miscarriage…that will teach the woman to try to Parkour in her third trimester…oh, but I am a mean little scum face. That is why I hold Cousin harder than any human, for she is without judgement…her brain is the size of a small strawberry, fermenting into a wine I would only drink were it a sunny day…but those days there are none, so I will not worry…


Advocates of cats screamed with joy, who blew and were blown away by meows, them catnip soldiers, caresses on table leg and shinned love, who cried in the morning with bird heads in their garden mouth, who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle out the wounds and sobs of the decapitated, behind my legal blindness and adore of body odor, my loveboys and shrews of fate the one eyed dong of the heterosexual dollar winking Washington to buy some bandaids for my back, her claws in them, through the shirt, the sweat, the crimson threads of their mark along my spine! I am used to this position, and love when painful is plentiful! Gayness!


My cat sings out, making an ominous sound, a sound akin to stomachs and kids, flits about. It has had a bad night, sits up blinking and purring. Oh what was that word that ran through my brain all night, that idiotic word that, hard as I’d try to pun it down, was always just an inch or two out of my grasp —  a word which, by association, brought into play an incongruous mass and magma of nouns, idioms, slogans and sayings, a confusing amorphous word. Htmlgiant. That is the word, thankfully it don’t contain that letter, oops, just fucked up. Oh well, my career is over. People, people, help meeeeeeeeeee.

[Text inspired and images culled from Writers and Kitties]


  1. Scott Lewis

      My dog gives me glares when I hug her. Bitch

  2. Jimmy Chen

      ur fooking lost my brother we are talking about cats. here is a comment which will not be liked, a kamakaziing of my comment:like ratio; fyi i wrote this piece this afternoon at ‘the summit’ a cafe with wifi on valencia street in sf. i had iced tea and a chicken sandwich. it’s owned and operated by filipino’s i think. lol there’s a ‘library’ with like zines and edgy journals, like the ones we talk about here. no one reads those. the bathroom was occupied so after the greasy sandwhich i had to let an ice cube melt in my mouth, so i could wash each finger tip in my mouth, so that i would not grease up my laptop keys; some say i am anal. ok, that is fine. the reason i’m giving u all this meta context is coz i once heard that ppl. like htmlgiant b/c the contributors will comment on their own post and other comments, thus making them more approachable, which i agree. some more context: my dad was an alchoholic and emotionally abused me, and i’m a ‘colored’ person living in america, which means i got problems that most of you don’t understand. by the way, i cut an pasted excepts and changed key words so this might be plagiarism. this is cutting edge htmlgiant context.

  3. Scott Lewis

      i doubt ice water and saliva would be able to remove grease

  4. Jimmy Chen

      my teeth are made of soap scotty beam in your up

  5. Scott Lewis

      how do you chew food with your soap teeth slim jim?

  6. Jimmy Chen

      my esophogus is attached to your colon like that centipede movie bro; i feel ‘comment manic’ now, will regret this…

  7. Scott Lewis

      my other dog tilts his had when I make a high pitched noise. re: i’ve alway felt an organal attachment to you

  8. mimi

      i compromise my pocketlinings for my laptopkeys

  9. Anonymous

      the summit is so00 weird

  10. bartleby_taco
  11. Sean

      Cats bother me.

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      […] my favorite sites and then the entries add up, when I came across this little piece of heaven that HTMLGIANT linked to. It’s pretty cute. If you don’t like cats, you won’t like Writers and […]