Random
Learning lessens
Lamont Library, Harvard
Instead of ivy, mold crawls on the walls of my education. Of the eight Ivy League universities’ mottos, Harvard and Yale’s include “truth,” and Brown and Princeton employ “God.” My favorite is Darmouth’s, which speaks of a crying voice in the wilderness (probably referring to freshmen year in the dorms). In addition to Statistics 101, kids returning library books at Harvard are met with a lesson in the highly improbable. Graduating from where I did with the degree I did was my own lesson in the highly improbable, namely, a good career. I masochistically look forward to The Social Network, which partially takes place at Harvard. The first google suggestion for facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, besides his name, is “Mark Zuckerberg Girlfriend” — for success is not just measured at the bank, but by the lady next to you, her breasts and your eyes ideally pointing towards the same bright future.
Do I seem bitter? I keep telling myself less is more (less education, less money, less love, less sex, less furniture, less hair, etc), but all this quasi-zen might be just some defense for an empty life. At the end of the path of least resistance lie excuses, a heap of ’em. Thank god for my internet — the age of excess morphed into the age of access, wi-fi that is. I had a facebook account once, but couldn’t stand the people from high school — our mutual unactualization, slow swelling of face, and promises left in the towns we’re from, the prison of a zip code.
The thing about walls is that there are always two sides, and the only difference is who’s outside and in. The thing about signs is that they are usually true. Pull. Push. Pull. Push. Until babies are born.
I have a fake alias facebook account with no friends or profile that I use to troll people’s walls and photo albums. People trying to look happy always look so sad; people who look sad always look worse; people who look ugly fair well under low resolution; people who look beautiful always seem cruel. The world is Midvale. For those of you taking Statistics 101 this fall, I guess that means smile.
Jimmy Chen: of all your public postures, you do sincerity best of all.
Fairwell to proper spelling.
Nice…
My remark was far gentler than anything Jimmy’s anon trolling, but it’s stricken from the record? I call smug, smarmy foul! Did you guys delete like fifty posts mocking the spelling in this post? Did you bid fairwell to them? How did they fair? Are you going to the county fare you jackals? Fie! Fie fie!
Crap, see, I got so addled with rage I omitted a clause. Fuck it. I call scesis onamaton–AND I can spell it. If I read that term used in an article on here, it would probably say ‘septic automaton.’
agreed.
Jimmy Chen: of all your public postures, you do sincerity best of all.
Fairwell to proper spelling.
Nice…
My remark was far gentler than anything Jimmy’s anon trolling, but it’s stricken from the record? I call smug, smarmy foul! Did you guys delete like fifty posts mocking the spelling in this post? Did you bid fairwell to them? How did they fair? Are you going to the county fare you jackals? Fie! Fie fie!
Crap, see, I got so addled with rage I omitted a clause. Fuck it. I call scesis onamaton–AND I can spell it. If I read that term used in an article on here, it would probably say ‘septic automaton.’
agreed.
What’s your good career?
Also: enjoyed this and whatever it was that you thought might seem bitter. Yes.
What’s your good career?
Also: enjoyed this and whatever it was that you thought might seem bitter. Yes.
i meant i have a bad career, as an ‘administrative analyst,’ a title they give ‘secretary’ after +5 years; but it’s not all emasculation, i have to lift heavy boxes
Suspect it was just you, mate.
I’m not even sure what spelling you’re taking issue with. The “lessens” of the title? That seems intentional. Mr. Chen is prone to word-play and whatnot, innee.
Seems like you probably feel alienated in and/or bewildered by contemporary society.
I have never understood high school people trying to find other high school people. That chapter is over, folks.
JC, you should publish a book of essays, already!
I’d buy *that* for a dollar…
i appreciate this, jimmy. and that midvale cartoon still makes me lol
Found poem again. This one is called “omitted a clause”.
Fuck it
Spell it
Scesis crap
So addled
I read
AND
I rage
Probably onamaton.
XTX’s Facebook Zygote in my Coffee poem always comes to mind when I think of FB. Love that poem.
That was the first Far Side comic I ever saw. Still my favorite.
Probably on a futon.
Probably.
OH GOOD ONE
HERE’S MINE
“FUCK IT I HAVE SCLESIS AND THE NEIGHBOUR WON’T COME TO GIVE ME MY MEDICINE ANYMORE AFTER I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND SHIT ALL OVER MYSELF AND YELLED AT HIM WHEN HE COULDN’T EVEN PRONOUNCE ‘ONAMATON’ PROPERLY!!! ARGHH!!!”
i meant i have a bad career, as an ‘administrative analyst,’ a title they give ‘secretary’ after +5 years; but it’s not all emasculation, i have to lift heavy boxes
“empty > less > more”
Self-pity is the hedonism of a slave.
Tiny is not nothing. Brief is not never.
So: being tiny and brief, what are you for?
Suspect it was just you, mate.
RE: 9:02: Nope, but it’s cool, they put the comments back up. Automated spam filter et al (or so I was told). I think it was more entertaining when my comments were cut–it was more fun to rage against the machine. Instead, I’ve been co-opted. Bought off with a little share of speech-access.
Re: 9:04: Fare enough then! See? I can do it too. Look, I’ll point out that if I hated the writing so much, I wouldn’t be back here. It just annoyed me, as sand would an oyster… but I make pearls when I’m annoyed. And I love these feeble character sketches–I think you’re mistaking me for someone else. I AM contemporary society.
And are you really dictating to me the mode with which I’m to read a text? Feh. It’s cool. My deleted & undeleted posts don’t really have any kind of legato anymore. They don’t make me look that great either, but for that, I tip my hat to the site admin who arranged that bit of skullduggery (yeah, I know, it was probably accidental, but the narrative is more entertaining if there’s self-aware passive-aggression on their side–an act of mimesis for Jimmy’s comp above). You know what? Maybe you’re right! Maybe I am alienated and bewildered by contemporary society. The disgust that drips from your keyboard as you say that suggests you might be a spokesman for this so-called society. If you wouldn’t mind then a few questions:
1) When did mild puns become the predominant linguistic trope in contemporary society and why do I find them so alienating?
2) Where can I find out how to get better internet-adjusted like you?
3) Yo mama?
I’m not even sure what spelling you’re taking issue with. The “lessens” of the title? That seems intentional. Mr. Chen is prone to word-play and whatnot, innee.
Seems like you probably feel alienated in and/or bewildered by contemporary society.
I have never understood high school people trying to find other high school people. That chapter is over, folks.
JC, you should publish a book of essays, already!
I’d buy *that* for a dollar…
i appreciate this, jimmy. and that midvale cartoon still makes me lol
Found poem again. This one is called “omitted a clause”.
Fuck it
Spell it
Scesis crap
So addled
I read
AND
I rage
Probably onamaton.
XTX’s Facebook Zygote in my Coffee poem always comes to mind when I think of FB. Love that poem.
That was the first Far Side comic I ever saw. Still my favorite.
Probably on a futon.
Probably.
OH GOOD ONE
HERE’S MINE
“FUCK IT I HAVE SCLESIS AND THE NEIGHBOUR WON’T COME TO GIVE ME MY MEDICINE ANYMORE AFTER I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND SHIT ALL OVER MYSELF AND YELLED AT HIM WHEN HE COULDN’T EVEN PRONOUNCE ‘ONAMATON’ PROPERLY!!! ARGHH!!!”
I just wrote a new found poem. It’s called “ONE GOOD OH”, and it is the most copyright protected to date. I improvised a little at the end.
YELLED FUCK
COME TO ME NEIGHBOR
YELLED SCLESIS ALL OVER MYSELF
WON’T COME DOWN
MY MEDICINE SHIT
WHAT MOTHERFUCKER
I HAVE A BLOG
WHAT
I KNOW HOW TO SPELL
ONAMATON MOTHERFUCKER.
“empty > less > more”
Self-pity is the hedonism of a slave.
Tiny is not nothing. Brief is not never.
So: being tiny and brief, what are you for?
RE: 9:02: Nope, but it’s cool, they put the comments back up. Automated spam filter et al (or so I was told). I think it was more entertaining when my comments were cut–it was more fun to rage against the machine. Instead, I’ve been co-opted. Bought off with a little share of speech-access.
Re: 9:04: Fare enough then! See? I can do it too. Look, I’ll point out that if I hated the writing so much, I wouldn’t be back here. It just annoyed me, as sand would an oyster… but I make pearls when I’m annoyed. And I love these feeble character sketches–I think you’re mistaking me for someone else. I AM contemporary society.
And are you really dictating to me the mode with which I’m to read a text? Feh. It’s cool. My deleted & undeleted posts don’t really have any kind of legato anymore. They don’t make me look that great either, but for that, I tip my hat to the site admin who arranged that bit of skullduggery (yeah, I know, it was probably accidental, but the narrative is more entertaining if there’s self-aware passive-aggression on their side–an act of mimesis for Jimmy’s comp above). You know what? Maybe you’re right! Maybe I am alienated and bewildered by contemporary society. The disgust that drips from your keyboard as you say that suggests you might be a spokesman for this so-called society. If you wouldn’t mind then a few questions:
1) When did mild puns become the predominant linguistic trope in contemporary society and why do I find them so alienating?
2) Where can I find out how to get better internet-adjusted like you?
3) Yo mama?
I just wrote a new found poem. It’s called “ONE GOOD OH”, and it is the most copyright protected to date. I improvised a little at the end.
YELLED FUCK
COME TO ME NEIGHBOR
YELLED SCLESIS ALL OVER MYSELF
WON’T COME DOWN
MY MEDICINE SHIT
WHAT MOTHERFUCKER
I HAVE A BLOG
WHAT
I KNOW HOW TO SPELL
ONAMATON MOTHERFUCKER.
brilliant and beautiful. i would buy that book of essays too.
brilliant and beautiful. i would buy that book of essays too.