September 22nd, 2010 / 3:36 pm
Random

Phallic Phractals

Why would the word “choad” be used to describe two distinct parts of the male anatomy which reside in extreme vicinity? Choad means both 1) a penis that is as wide as it is long, and 2) the area between the scrotum and anus (fml. perineum) — as conceptualized using fractals in opposite directions (emmision and butthole serve to orientate the viewer). It’s like using one word to describe both the rind and pulp of a lemon. Words are free, just make one up. Call a penis that is as wide as it is long a “brupmont” and the conflict ends.

I once heard a male porn performer refer to his imminent emission as “choad,” that (emphatically) “Oh, [he’s] gonna blow [his] choad on [her],” which is either semantic negligence on his part, or exclusive insider lingo. Brupmont will probably never catch on, as those who host such a diminished digit speak meekly into their laps.

18 Comments

  1. jereme

      so you are telling me because the internet says so, it is so?

      man fuck the internet.

      that’s some bullshit j. i know perversion. who the fuck uses choad to describe the taint?

  2. stephen

      wow re “brupmont”

  3. daniel bailey

      i would argue that definition #2 is not the real definition. that’s called the taint. or the gooch.

  4. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      Did you know the indentations between ripped abdominals are sometimes referred to as “come gutters?” I heard that yesterday and my mind was blown.

  5. jereme

      hahaha well i think a person has to be in a certain scene to hear this term used.

  6. jereme

      i’m with dickhole bailey on this. i’ve never heard of choad being used to describe the taint/gooch/baunch/perineum.

      do you know what a “fupper” is jimmy?

  7. Jimmy Chen
  8. jake s.

      seems like the difference between the two definitions is generational. i generally hear the word “choad(e)” used in reference to a penis that is as wide as it is long by people under age 25. Those older than 25 tend toward the other definition (which is, I strongly feel, the correct one). this is probably because “taint” came into the lexicon at some point in the early 2000s (as family guy, college humor dot com, and other ‘bro humor’ entered the national consciousness), thus freeing up “choad(e)” to refer to something that hadn’t been given a name yet. the reason that this penis-that-is-extremely-short-and-fat had not yet been named, however, is probably that it hardly exists. “choad(e)” has been bullied out of its original meaning. it has been marginalized. we must take it back.

  9. jereme

      so you are telling me because the internet says so, it is so?

      man fuck the internet.

      that’s some bullshit j. i know perversion. who the fuck uses choad to describe the taint?

  10. Jimmy Chen

      i use choad to describe my face, which is a wide as it is long. every man has the right to use choad as he wishes.

  11. jereme

      true but you are probably lame and british…

      or canadian.

  12. smart dumbguy

      i’ve got a friend from st. louis who calls the gooch a “squanus”. i don’t believe it’s a widely-used term

  13. letters

      The gutters of heaven will run white with cum.

  14. deadgod

      “Brupmont” is the name of a man with three thighs. Those hosting such a digit had better catch on.

  15. chris r

      You might me right. I’m 28 and this is the first time in my life that I’ve heard definition number 1. I didn’t even know a penis could be as wide as it is long. My interest is insanely sparked though. I’m eating dinner as I type this, but as soon as I hit “post” I’ll be Googling for choad(definition #1) pics.

  16. Rebecca Loudon

      Stand back, Choada Boy!
      –Orgasmo

  17. mimi

      I’ve heard that the term ” taint ” comes from:

      ” ’tain’t what’s above, ’tain’t what’s below “

  18. chris r

      or ” ’tain’t the ass, ’tain’t the sack “