August 13th, 2009 / 9:33 pm
Random

Postmodern 3way Slugout: Coover v. Barth v. Calvino

pricksongs or lostinthefunhouse or cosmicomics?

Tags: , ,

49 Comments

  1. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      Calvino in 2 rounds by TKO

  2. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      Calvino in 2 rounds by TKO

  3. Matthew Simmons

      Coover pulls a 2X4 at some point, and Barth has ring assist from a little person version of Delillo, but, yeah. Calvino still pulls it out and gets the Last Man In the Ring belt.

      What can I say: Coover and Barth are heels and Calvino’s a face.

  4. Matthew Simmons

      Coover pulls a 2X4 at some point, and Barth has ring assist from a little person version of Delillo, but, yeah. Calvino still pulls it out and gets the Last Man In the Ring belt.

      What can I say: Coover and Barth are heels and Calvino’s a face.

  5. gene

      coover for the win. barth second. calvino, nah.

  6. gene

      coover for the win. barth second. calvino, nah.

  7. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      Word

  8. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      Word

  9. DD

      This is the heart of the Michael Martone fiction workshop reading list.

      I’ll take the Italian Stallion in a slug-fest.

      Really can’t lose w/ any of these.

  10. DD

      This is the heart of the Michael Martone fiction workshop reading list.

      I’ll take the Italian Stallion in a slug-fest.

      Really can’t lose w/ any of these.

  11. Tim Horvath

      Calvino wins only because he shows up at the dawn of the universe and goes 50 quadrillion rounds.

      Would love to get a glimpse of Michael Martone’s syllabus.

  12. Tim Horvath

      Calvino wins only because he shows up at the dawn of the universe and goes 50 quadrillion rounds.

      Would love to get a glimpse of Michael Martone’s syllabus.

  13. JW Veldhoen

      Coover, no doubt. Bloodbath.

  14. JW Veldhoen

      Coover, no doubt. Bloodbath.

  15. BAC

      hard to say. they’re all so smart.

      and by smart i mean annoying.

      and by annoying i mean fuck all three of them.

      but a smart fuck.

      where you get iq points instead of herpes.

      and by herpes i mean eagles’ music.

      and by eagles i mean don henley.

      solo.

      though that’s not really eagles at all.

  16. BAC

      hard to say. they’re all so smart.

      and by smart i mean annoying.

      and by annoying i mean fuck all three of them.

      but a smart fuck.

      where you get iq points instead of herpes.

      and by herpes i mean eagles’ music.

      and by eagles i mean don henley.

      solo.

      though that’s not really eagles at all.

  17. Chase

      Natch. The Coov holds it down without remorse until Donald Barthelme emerges from the shadows in a snakeskin cowboy hat and lays waste to the competitors.

  18. Chase

      Natch. The Coov holds it down without remorse until Donald Barthelme emerges from the shadows in a snakeskin cowboy hat and lays waste to the competitors.

  19. Gian

      This cracks me up.

  20. Gian

      This cracks me up.

  21. Blake Butler

      send us the list? would be fun to post it, if MM don’t care

  22. Blake Butler

      send us the list? would be fun to post it, if MM don’t care

  23. Blake Butler

      was waiting for the Barthelme kidz to come attack. Coover eats his face. the other two, not so much. but Coover eats his face.

  24. Blake Butler

      was waiting for the Barthelme kidz to come attack. Coover eats his face. the other two, not so much. but Coover eats his face.

  25. DD

      Sorry, don’t have that list, been some time, but definitely Barthelme and possibly Ondaatje (Billy the Kid or Coming through Slaughter).

  26. DD

      Sorry, don’t have that list, been some time, but definitely Barthelme and possibly Ondaatje (Billy the Kid or Coming through Slaughter).

  27. Kevin O'Neill

      I have all of those books but I’ve only finished the Coover. Points victory.

  28. Kevin O'Neill

      I have all of those books but I’ve only finished the Coover. Points victory.

  29. Christopher Higgs

      Instead of watching them slug it out, it would be cool to see someone remix/mash them up…

      Like if someone made Qfwfq the narrator of “The Babysitter” and then made the little sperm narrator from “Night Sea Journey” be sperm from one of those boys who comes over to the house where the babysitter is babysitting – or if you wanted to make it a really creepy tragedy, you could take that scene in “The Babysitter” where the little boy pees in front of the babysitter while she’s in the bathtub and change it to the kid masturbating and then make the kid’s release be the little sperm narrator of “Night Sea Journey” which would add a whole new element of futility to that story because while the little sperm narrator was thinking he was making his way to an egg he would actually be swimming down the toilet pipe to the sewer — which is where having Qfwfq as the narrator could really pay off.

      Just a thought.

  30. Christopher Higgs

      Instead of watching them slug it out, it would be cool to see someone remix/mash them up…

      Like if someone made Qfwfq the narrator of “The Babysitter” and then made the little sperm narrator from “Night Sea Journey” be sperm from one of those boys who comes over to the house where the babysitter is babysitting – or if you wanted to make it a really creepy tragedy, you could take that scene in “The Babysitter” where the little boy pees in front of the babysitter while she’s in the bathtub and change it to the kid masturbating and then make the kid’s release be the little sperm narrator of “Night Sea Journey” which would add a whole new element of futility to that story because while the little sperm narrator was thinking he was making his way to an egg he would actually be swimming down the toilet pipe to the sewer — which is where having Qfwfq as the narrator could really pay off.

      Just a thought.

  31. gene

      ha. nice christopher. also, i was just wondering…has anyone else read Origin of the Brunists? i was really enjoying that shit until pg. 40 when there were passages that read:

      There was light and
      post drill leaped smashed the
      turned over whole goddamn car kicking

      and so on..i was like is coov doing this for effect or did i just get some shit w/ typos?

  32. gene

      ha. nice christopher. also, i was just wondering…has anyone else read Origin of the Brunists? i was really enjoying that shit until pg. 40 when there were passages that read:

      There was light and
      post drill leaped smashed the
      turned over whole goddamn car kicking

      and so on..i was like is coov doing this for effect or did i just get some shit w/ typos?

  33. Blake Butler

      i think u better get to work…
      i wannit

  34. Blake Butler

      i think u better get to work…
      i wannit

  35. mark

      so wait, at what point in this nancified slapfight does JR fall out of the sky and squash all present into jelly?

  36. mark

      so wait, at what point in this nancified slapfight does JR fall out of the sky and squash all present into jelly?

  37. Drew

      Despite my distrust of all things Italian, I go with IC.

  38. Drew

      Despite my distrust of all things Italian, I go with IC.

  39. Blake Butler

      of course a novel is gonna clobber a measly story collection. no cheating.

  40. Blake Butler

      of course a novel is gonna clobber a measly story collection. no cheating.

  41. sasha fletcher

      whatevs

  42. sasha fletcher

      whatevs

  43. sasha fletcher

      i wanna say calvino, but olga quenby swede and carl is just so fucking good man. holy shit. i need to finish that book.

  44. sasha fletcher

      i wanna say calvino, but olga quenby swede and carl is just so fucking good man. holy shit. i need to finish that book.

  45. mark

      ok so then fine then, coover kills calvino and barth, gets intracurally violated by gass, who in the meantime deadlocks in a staredown with cortazar, at which point gogol shows up in his time machine, roasting the corpses of calvino and barth along with the still-living cortazar and gass, at which point didion reclassifies her “postmodern” essays essays as “postmodern” short stories, disassembles the spaceship and skullfucks gogol with all its 5,000,000 pieces, then jane bowles, who’s got it should be said an ambiguous relationship whatever label you want to throw at her, poisons didion and then for good measure poisons gogol and then for good measure poisons calvino and coover and barth and gass and cortazar and that is how jane bowles became the queen of everything you see.
      *tuck*
      *kiss*

  46. mark

      ok so then fine then, coover kills calvino and barth, gets intracurally violated by gass, who in the meantime deadlocks in a staredown with cortazar, at which point gogol shows up in his time machine, roasting the corpses of calvino and barth along with the still-living cortazar and gass, at which point didion reclassifies her “postmodern” essays essays as “postmodern” short stories, disassembles the spaceship and skullfucks gogol with all its 5,000,000 pieces, then jane bowles, who’s got it should be said an ambiguous relationship whatever label you want to throw at her, poisons didion and then for good measure poisons gogol and then for good measure poisons calvino and coover and barth and gass and cortazar and that is how jane bowles became the queen of everything you see.
      *tuck*
      *kiss*

  47. jeff t johnson

      My favorite sentence from “Lost in the Funhouse” comes in the part about the diving board:

      But whether you hollered *Geronimo!* or *Sieg heil!*, held your nose or “rode a bicycle,” pretended to be shot or did a perfect jacknife or changed your mind halfway down and ended up with nothing, it was over in two seconds, after all that wait.

      Now, I wanted to cut that off after the most devastating part, when you end up with nothing(!), but I did say it was my favorite sentence, so there’s the whole thing.

      Also, I want to point out that I read David Foster Wallace’s “Forever Overhead,” in which the “you” character is paralyzed by self-consciousness on a diving board, as a fitting homage to “Lost in the Funhouse.”

      Finally, I want to second the fantasy of D.Barthelme waltzing in outta nowhere to calmly bust some heads, along with his tagteam partner, Kenneth Koch (circa “Fresh Air”). Or maybe I’d just like to hang out at the same interdimensional bar all these dudes frequent.

      OK, one more note for all you book geeks out there (you know who you are, etc.): I have personalized signed copies of Lost in the Funhouse, Pricksongs, and Koch’s Thank You. I don’t mean to brag; I’m really just marveling at these magic pokers.

  48. jeff t johnson

      My favorite sentence from “Lost in the Funhouse” comes in the part about the diving board:

      But whether you hollered *Geronimo!* or *Sieg heil!*, held your nose or “rode a bicycle,” pretended to be shot or did a perfect jacknife or changed your mind halfway down and ended up with nothing, it was over in two seconds, after all that wait.

      Now, I wanted to cut that off after the most devastating part, when you end up with nothing(!), but I did say it was my favorite sentence, so there’s the whole thing.

      Also, I want to point out that I read David Foster Wallace’s “Forever Overhead,” in which the “you” character is paralyzed by self-consciousness on a diving board, as a fitting homage to “Lost in the Funhouse.”

      Finally, I want to second the fantasy of D.Barthelme waltzing in outta nowhere to calmly bust some heads, along with his tagteam partner, Kenneth Koch (circa “Fresh Air”). Or maybe I’d just like to hang out at the same interdimensional bar all these dudes frequent.

      OK, one more note for all you book geeks out there (you know who you are, etc.): I have personalized signed copies of Lost in the Funhouse, Pricksongs, and Koch’s Thank You. I don’t mean to brag; I’m really just marveling at these magic pokers.

  49. HTMLGIANT / Michael Martone’s Reading List for “American Short Fiction of the 70’s and 80’s”

      […] in the comments section of this post, DD mentioned Michael Martone’s workshop reading list. Dear Leader responded by asking for […]