August 17th, 2011 / 10:33 am
 Random

Taco

Likes: Seeing someone with authentic bounce in their step (00.9, 0.49). Initial 3-pointer is to go over 110 points, thus granting free tacos for fans. Rodman’s houses never had furniture, only a mattress (though he already owns the coffin he will be buried in and sometimes sleeps in it) and a giant TV to watch game tapes. (He obsessively studied trends on where an individual player’s missed shots tended to bounce.) Announcer goes with Mexican food puns. Rodman’s friends know him as shy. He once married himself. In midst of this 3-pointer run, Rodman plays excellent D (1:06), causing near air-ball. This quote on a phone call he received while gambling at a casino.

“It was like the ‘somebody died call’. I picked up the phone and Madonna was like, ‘I’m ovulating, I’m ovulating. Get your ass up here’. So I left my chips on the table, flew five hours to New York and did my thing. We got done and she was standing on her head in an attempt to promote conception — just like any girl trying to get pregnant. I flew back to Las Vegas and picked up my game where I left off.”

Dislikes: Pick or scratch at 31? Ref should have said ‘fuck it’ and gave Rodman last 3. Pippen’s black belt with brown suit. (Wish we could see his shoes and get a significant argument going.)

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12 Comments

  1. August 17th, 2011 / 3:27 pm richard chiem—

      i really love this post. feel like
      rodman’s hall of fame speech 
      was the most touching i’ve
      seen

      ╔═══╗ ♪║███║ ♫║ (●) ♫╚═══╝♪♪╔═══╗ ♪║███║ ♫║ (●) ♫╚═══╝♪♪╔═══╗ ♪║███║ ♫║ (●) ♫╚═══╝♪♪

  2. August 17th, 2011 / 4:23 pm Daniel Bailey—

      the nuggets also do the nuggets score 110 points and everyone gets free tacos the next day thing. i love it. they have an awesome commercial to promote the taco deal starring ty lawson where he’s the only person on the court and they make it seem like he’s defeating an entire team to give us tacos. 

      anyway i was watching a nuggets-warriors game this season and kosta koufos scored the basket to give the nuggets 110 points. the commentator called koufos “the taco-meister.” i then edited koufos’ wikipedia page to say that he became the taco-meister by scoring the 110th point of the game against the warriors on whatever day that was. i was then banned from editing wikipedia pages for 2 or 3 days.

      btw, did you see rodman’s hall of fame speech? it was kind of amazing. real talk meets “i want to turn a new leaf and be a better man.”

  3. August 17th, 2011 / 4:23 pm Daniel Bailey—

      totally. also, rodman has a weird cry. it’s like a snort/grunt.

  4. August 17th, 2011 / 4:57 pm FormerCity—
  5. August 17th, 2011 / 5:14 pm Frank Tas, the Raptor—

      I sort of am afraid to see it. I saw Deion Sanders’s speech on mute in a bar, by myself, and I don’t want to believe that any other speech can top that.

  6. August 17th, 2011 / 7:13 pm goner—

      I also liked Jordan’s speech even though everyone hated it and said he
      sounded bitter and ungrateful and arrogant. I loved it for all of those
      reasons, because it was like Jordan drawing a line in the sand between
      him and a world that could never understand what it’s like to be Michael
      Jordan. I love that he sort of ripped into his former boss from the
      Bulls and asked who invited him and then told his kids that he wouldn’t
      want to be them. The whole thing was weird and kind of sad and awesome. 

  7. August 17th, 2011 / 7:47 pm Leapsloth14—

      I agree. The Jordan speech was nuanced in many ways not given credit. One reason is that any single thing Jordan does many observers want him to fail. Because he’s so good. It’s eerie. He did something in basketball that made him an alien to us, the Dopes, the humans.

      The Rodman speech is wild. So many tangents and brutal honesty. It was like a new genre of HOF speeches, to confront your mom while she sits there. To jump from place to place. To have a wild cathartic something. 

  8. August 17th, 2011 / 7:49 pm david miller—

      1:02 to 1:07 jordan always closing in.

  9. August 18th, 2011 / 5:46 pm kb—

      Phil Jackson says the greatest *athlete* he ever coached is Rodman. Thus outranking Jordan, Kobe, Pippen, Shaq.

  10. August 20th, 2011 / 2:07 pm Rachel B. Glaser—

      Thanks for posting!!!!!!!!  

  11. August 20th, 2011 / 2:08 pm Rachel B. Glaser—

      Rodman taught me how to draw….
       

  12. August 23rd, 2011 / 7:51 pm barry—

      rodman is a beast. he has a couple of books that arent the greatest but they are a fun way to kill an afternoon. he talks about when he was playing for the spurs and he was on the bench and he put his towel over his lap and jerked off right in the middle of the game. good stuff…