When you are ready to sit at the desk, sit at the desk.

When you aren’t ready, still have a desk too.

I like a lot of little food and walkings.

It’s good to have a dog to fuck you up.

If you ever start to figure out what you are saying, get up and sprint straight away until you hit a wall and there will be someone there telling you what to do, which might be GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Are you ready stop being so entertainment? That’s the most fun.

It’s never too late to get a law degree.

Have a mother bring you half a sandwich that she didn’t eat at lunch with those other women.

Try not sleeping when you are are asleep.

Try sleeping when you are not sleep and doing it the best you ever did.

Sometimes don’t masturbate for a long time and then do it first thing in the morning.

Shampoo is still soap.

When someone asks you what you are doing in that room for so long, say ‘titties’ or else take karate for enough years until you can gut punch them in that just one spot.

Say a lot of things in a very short time sometimes.

Say not much at all for really long.

Say things you don’t mean and mean them.

Mean mean things say and don’t you them.

Make use of that time when other people are just driving but don’t realize that you are making use of it.

When the guy approaches you at Wendy’s with that look in his eye, show him where it hurts because of what you did too much.

Be this guy more often:

Sometimes when you are reading something you really like in the bathtub, put it down right where you are really liking and get out of the bath and go all wet to the desk and finish writing what you were reading, but don’t do it like that, or do it later. Or do it before you read the next thing you really like at all.

Think about submissions less and publications less and just forget you are ever going to show anyone.

Try not to show anyone.

Turn off the gmail chat.

At your desk be the worst person ever born.

Whenever someone says, ‘teach me something,’ say ‘hi.’