I drink because it’s the only time I can stand it.

I am as tall as a shotgun and just as nosy.

[JW: Can we have a drink?

TC: Oh, we will!]

I can walk soberly while drunk.

The way a cottonmouth rears up…

This huge female bouncer threw me into the street!

Why not remove restrictions and let the people drink good whiskey?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We want two more double margaritas, and I want some ice in my drink, and I want a straight jigger of just pure tequila.

Mick Jagger is about as sexy as a pissing toad.

But I seem to be off the track again.