Vicarious MFA
How to Say It — Lit Scene Edition
If Paris Review Daily is running some of your shit…
Don’t say: I am going to be published in The Paris Review!
Say: Paris Review Daily is running some of my shit.
If your boyfriend is printing out copies of your poems and distributing them around Portland on his fixed gear bike…
Don’t say: I have a book coming out!
Say: My boyfriend is printing out copies of my poems and distributing them around Portland on his fixed gear bike.
If your agent is showing your novel to Melville House…
Don’t say: It’s all happening for me!
Say: Nothing. Or maybe post a picture to fbook of your baby looking at its first tree, because somehow that is less annoying.
If you’re still talking about Breece D’J Pancake…
Don’t say: Breece D’J Pancake.
Say: Ryan D’J Breakfast Taco.
If you just wrote 10 million words of your novella…
Don’t say: Just hammered out 10 million words of my novella!
Say: Let’s go see A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.**
If you (or your protagonist) are engaged to be married…
Don’t say: My fiancée.
Say: Anything else.
If you (or your protagonist) are a sophomore in college…
Don’t say: During the Spring of my Sophomore year,
Say: Anything else.
If you really dig a book…
Don’t say: This book is a gut-punch-face-ripper-offer-slayer-thrasher.
Say: Anything else.
**Please! No spoilers, folks. Really excited for this.
i like how this is tagged vicarious mfa
misread that tag as vicious mfa
seriously chuckled at the CTFO/Smiley-Pancake photo
yay!
really hoping for a fight about the semiotics of french toast.
ryan dj breakfast taco universe
<3
they signify ‘chill’ duh
I enjoyed this post.
Barry Hannah in leopard suspenders burps and it is great advice
Thx. I actually wanted to do this post as comic strips, but htmlgiant is too narrow across (shit be tight).
Here are the strips:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/stripgenerator/strip/75/64/85/00/00/full.png
http://s3.amazonaws.com/stripgenerator/strip/97/64/85/00/00/full.png
crushed it
killa
Vicuna MFA
If you don’t want a future experience ruined…
Don’t say: **Please! No spoilers, folks. Really excited for this.
Say: I know Harold and Kumar “don’t die”, fucker.
Liked it
OOOOOOH
Nice one
Broder is going to leave so many folks bankrupt during mean week.
What does CTFO mean? I refuse to google that.
Dude, ok, I’ll just say it cuz I’ve been thinking it for quite some time. That profile photo is erotic as hell. I don’t know why. I haven’t thought about the why. Sure, it has something to do with the eyes being covered. I dont know. I feel like a fuckin freak everytime I see that damn thing.
Cut those fingers off
If you’re still talking about your famous professors
Don’t refer to them by their last names
Drop dead instead
Chut The Fuck Op
let’s all kill ourselvse itt
jk still waiting for skyrim to unlock
New favorite thing ever. Especially the last one.
i really appreciate Melissa’s earnest enthusiasm for Karold and Humar.
Good job, Melissa Broder.
Another one:
If you’re nominated by a friend for an award
Don’t say: My book is up for a (insert state name) Book Award!
Say: Nothing. Unless your book is actually on the short list.
awesome! sommer browning says it looks like ralph macchio at a spa.
re: engagement terminology. What about saying “My betrothed”?
If you’ve been nominated by a friend for an award and find yourself on the short list…
Don’t say: I’m on the short list for a/the [insert award title]!
Say: We-e-e-e-ll . . .–of course, it’s being on the long list that’s the real honor.
Chill the eff out and Google that shit, bro.
Jesus, a friend of mine just posted that on fb for his novel (which I didn’t read, don’t give a shit!).
yessss. death by hamburgers is the only way to go.
Funny, though the Pancake one is bullshit. Say his name correctly. Unless you’re deejaying a party and for the night you go by D.J. Pancake.
obvs I’m missing the inside of the joke. It seems if you are being published in the Paris Review, you would yell it from the roof tops. Or “threw down 100,000 words on a novel draft”, or something; even if 50% is crap, you’d be pretty stoked. Just saying. I enjoyed the comic version. Props for the Harold and Kumar reference. I’m unchill, I guess. “CTFO” self
that’s okay, i think it’s pretty unchill to tell people what to say
What about posting NaNoRiMo totals… 35.245K bro
Hehe, so true, so true…
that would be cteo
twb cteoaGtsb
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