November 6th, 2009 / 11:50 am
Vicarious MFA

Is this a good poem?

processLast night in class we did some process writing. I don’t like process writing, especially when it’s rule-based. I always wonder more if I’m paying attention to the rules. Last night in class I kind of ignored the rules and the process writing. I wrote this poem. Is it any good? Is poetry better with revision? Actually, don’t answer that. Just tell me if you think this poem is good.  

 
  
 

 

 

Take a dog
Give it to some girl
Really give it to her
Give some girl the leaking dog

Take a girl
Take that girl and shove her
Put on the dog a little
Give her to the dog

Take a gift
Go to Florida
Get two collies
Take them at night

 

 

 

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40 Comments

  1. daniel bailey

      this poem is perfect. don’t revise it.

  2. daniel bailey

      this poem is perfect. don’t revise it.

  3. Joseph Young

      yes.

  4. Joseph Young

      yes.

  5. Amy McDaniel

      Adam, i love this. i love its soft allusiveness and its sestinatude. i like your graphic too.

  6. Amy McDaniel

      Adam, i love this. i love its soft allusiveness and its sestinatude. i like your graphic too.

  7. alec niedenthal

      wow, that’s fantastic.

  8. alec niedenthal

      wow, that’s fantastic.

  9. Sarah

      I love the end.

  10. Sarah

      I love the end.

  11. Adam Robinson

      Oh shoot, I just realized I meant to post this at Fictionaut.

  12. Adam Robinson

      Oh shoot, I just realized I meant to post this at Fictionaut.

  13. Nate

      nice.

  14. Nate

      nice.

  15. ce.

      yeah. i don’t know, dude. i like its hows, but i’m not completely finding its whys. i’m not sure what i mean by that. i might be drunk.

  16. ce.

      yeah. i don’t know, dude. i like its hows, but i’m not completely finding its whys. i’m not sure what i mean by that. i might be drunk.

  17. audri

      don’t change a thing. burn the rules.

  18. audri

      don’t change a thing. burn the rules.

  19. drew kalbach

      the poem is good but why is this a post?

  20. drew kalbach

      the poem is good but why is this a post?

  21. Mather Schneider

      What rules does this poem break?

      I don’t like poems that tell me what to do.

  22. thomas p levy

      because he didn’t mean to post it here

  23. Mather Schneider

      What rules does this poem break?

      I don’t like poems that tell me what to do.

  24. thomas p levy

      because he didn’t mean to post it here

  25. Blake Butler

      i heard you loved getting told what to do

  26. Blake Butler

      i heard you loved getting told what to do

  27. Mather Schneider

      Check your ears.

  28. Mather Schneider

      Check your ears.

  29. Sean

      “good”?

      I’d like to see a revision. I mean there is some friction, but I’d like to see more, a crackle or rub. But I guess people above thought it was “good,” so OK.

      It would be sad to abandon a poem that way, though.

  30. Sean

      “good”?

      I’d like to see a revision. I mean there is some friction, but I’d like to see more, a crackle or rub. But I guess people above thought it was “good,” so OK.

      It would be sad to abandon a poem that way, though.

  31. Ryan Call

      i think the image you put iwth the post is good.

  32. Ryan Call

      i think the image you put iwth the post is good.

  33. dave e

      you’re thinking of Cotton

  34. dave e

      you’re thinking of Cotton

  35. dave e

      i stop all stories at mediocre.

      hmm, stopping at good might be something to stew on. either that or it’s some mad dog and running in the wet grass

  36. dave e

      i stop all stories at mediocre.

      hmm, stopping at good might be something to stew on. either that or it’s some mad dog and running in the wet grass

  37. dave e

      can i still slap your back on htmlgiant?

      i love to slap writers’ backs, especially dudes

  38. dave e

      can i still slap your back on htmlgiant?

      i love to slap writers’ backs, especially dudes

  39. Matt Jasper

      My favorite line is “Give some girl the leaking dog” because I can’t tell whether the dog is urinating or has just been hit by a car. Though there could be more lines (about a mall and pallbearers) at the end, it is brillig as it is.

  40. Matt Jasper

      My favorite line is “Give some girl the leaking dog” because I can’t tell whether the dog is urinating or has just been hit by a car. Though there could be more lines (about a mall and pallbearers) at the end, it is brillig as it is.