May 20th, 2011 / 1:51 pm
Web Hype

Are you ready, or what?

All signs point to the apocalypse tomorrow. Have you heard?

Fuck: what if they’re right? (They’re not, but who would get the last laugh?)

What are you doing in preparation and/or celebration?

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  1. M. Kitchell

      as i said on facebook, i’m planning on jerking off & listening to Britney Spears’s “DANCE UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS” on repeat

  2. cameron pierce

      I want to spend the rapture at an ugly dog show.

      Worst in Show is playing on the 21st. It’s a documentary about the world’s ugliest dog competition. And there’s an ugly dog show afterward.

  3. lily hoang

       two excellent options! Mike: you’re going to listen to that song on repeat all day? Jesus. (I do like the part when the song sounds muted.) Cameron: ugly dogs are so much cuter than pretty dogs. Why is that?

  4. Ryan Sanford Smith

       The lack of chaotic news today proves not only are these folks gullible and unimaginative about the end of the world, they’re truly uninspired in how they’re choosing to spend the last day of the human race.

  5. Anonymous

      trying to figure out why the idea of armageddon tomorrow is silly, but armageddon in the future isn’t. 

  6. c2k

      Worst billboards ever. Although very likely put together in a hurry because–well, you know.

  7. Ryan Sanford Smith

       Who said it isn’t?

      To be fair, armageddon qualified simply as the end of our world is a pretty foregone conclusion, scientifically we can see the registers of it all around us, in every iota of what we know (and don’t know) about the cosmos clearly letting us know that in a span of time that is contextually no more than a blink of time, our planet will quite certainly be eaten up by a hungry and dying star.

      But the theological armageddon is silly on any timescale…

  8. deadgod

      I agree with Ryan (below (?)); it’s not the timing, or even the explicit vs. open-ended frame.

      It’s shunting ‘the end of the world that sustains us’ into God’s hands – and out of our own – that’s “silly”.  It’s salvation from ‘the world’s end’ – on the grounds of obedience to a supernatural whatever – that’s “silly”.

  9. deadgod

      Supernatural commitments don’t stem from too much ‘imagination’; they stem from not enough ‘imagination’ to leave personal temporal finitude unbelieved.

  10. Frank Tas, the Raptor

       I made a craigslist posting looking for a date. I wanted to get drunk and go sing karaoke somewhere. But apparently EVERYONE already has plans for Apocalypse Eve. 

  11. c2k

      I hate to say it but the old tried-and-true “World’s
      About to End” signs work just fine. Once you put a
      definite date on the big A, you’ve lost me. So I’m certainly
      not going to tune into or

      If they hadn’t given a date and I saw the sign, I might have visited the site and listened to what they had to say. But now there’s no point. It’s too late. Alert successfully spoiled.



      Have you ever thought about a Metlife retirement annuity?

      Contact us at – -“

  12. Melissa Broder

      Going to comment on lit blogs. 

  13. c2k

      Crappy formatting is the 8th sign.

  14. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      Uh, dude? Maybe you didn’t hear about Macho Man Randy Savage yet?  

  15. deadgod

      You can, for some hours yet, join in the ‘countdown to backpedaling’: .  I’ve heard/read that Family Radio is ‘valued’ at  ~$120 million, and that Camping himself is ‘worth’ ~$70 million – which is quite a hedge against, eh, “miscalculation”.

  16. Carolyn DeCarlo
  17. Ryan

      Tried to get off work tonight to celebrate, but unfortunately a lot of people plan on eating pizza for apocalypse eve and are going to be too lazy to pick it up themselves.

  18. goner

      I’m going to finally start reading Infinite Jest.

  19. c2k

      Well, then. Whilst most believers of his adverts will be figuring out a way to get on the Spaceship, I’d advise Camping to spend the next 26 hours exchanging his seventy million greenbacks for gold bullions and try to get left back. Deal with the fallout on Sunday.

  20. c2k

      Save the Date. 

  21. Don

      Chris McCann of eBible Fellowship, one of the groups helping to
      spread the message, said it had been publicised in almost every country.

      “The only countries I don’t feel too good about are the
      “stans” – you know, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, those countries in Central
      Asia,” he said.

  22. Henry

      I guess just get really drunk. I mean, what else are you supposed to do on a big public occasion? As with New Years for a decade now, I plan to be vomiting up a curry, gazing blearily from my one, half open eye at the four horsemen racing across the sky towards me. 

  23. Henry

      I guess just get really drunk. I mean, what else are you supposed to do on a big public occasion? As with New Years for a decade now, I plan to be vomiting up a curry, gazing blearily from my one, half open eye at the four horsemen racing across the sky towards me. 

  24. deadgod

      According to this piece of actual journalism:  , it’s the “non-profit” (?!) Family Radio which was (’09) ‘worth’ $72 million.  Those other #s sound like . . . stories.  Still plenty of bullion.  The credulous millions of followers are – plainly – , um, prepared to believe whatever explanation they get spoon-fed (miscalculation; trial period; the ‘world’ as it was known did end; etc.) — I don’t think Camping, Inc. will have to budge an inch.

  25. Anonymous 

  26. lily hoang

      Hopefully, I’ll eat a nice breakfast.

  27. reynard

      just making some kool-aid

  28. mimi
  29. Guestagain

      I think they miscalculated. We’re only halfway through the book of revelations. 

  30. Anonymous

  31. shaun gannon

      i’m going to spend it bitching about tired jokes on the internet

  32. Don

      Listening to Saves the Day now.  Maybe I’ll listen to Shelter next!

  33. jesusangelgarcia
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