Web Hype
Let’s all take the internet addiction test together and compare answers
I’ll start! Then you show me yours, in the comment box, if you want.
1) How often do you find that you stay online longer than you intended?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
2) How often do you neglect household chores to spend more time online?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
3) How often do you prefer the excitement* of the internet to intimacy with your partner?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
*haha, ‘excitement’
4) How often do you form new relationships* with online users?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
*haha, ‘relationships’
5) How often do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend online?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
6) How often do your grades or school work suffer because of the amount of time you spend online?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often*
Always
*Started MFA in 2008 and on-track to finish in 2017. Slow ‘n steady.
7) How often do you check your e-mail* before something else that you need to do?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
*’e-mail’ being twitter, fb, htmlgiant, pornhub, etc.
8) How often do you become defensive or secretive when anyone asks you what you do online?
Rarely*
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always*
*If the person asking is an avatar, never. If the person asking is a real live human, always.
9) How often do you block out disturbing thoughts about your life with soothing thoughts about the internet?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always*
*Though sometimes I block out disturbing thoughts about my life with disturbing thoughts about the internet, or disturbing thoughts about the internet with disturbing thoughts about my life, or disturbing thoughts about the internet with other disturbing thoughts about the internet.
10) How often do you find yourself anticipating when you will go online again?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always*
*Even when online.
11) How often do you fear that life without the internet would be boring, empty, and joyless?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always*
*Can you die online?
12) How often do you snap, yell, or act annoyed if someone bothers you while you are online?
Rarely
Occasionally*
Frequently
Often
Always
*My style is more ‘ignore’ or ‘block out anything human’ than snap
12) How often do you lose sleep due to late-night log-ins?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
13) How often do you try to cut down the amount of time you spend online and fail?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always*
*Here is the set of rules I constructed and have never followed
a) No internet before morning meditation
b) No tweeting until after 3 PM
c) No more than 2 tweets per day
d) No internet after 11 pm
e) Only post Sunday Service at htmlgiant–do not become a litblogger.
Bonus: Sometimes I write a letter to god, or a letter to myself from god, asking for the power to stay off twitter for anywhere from 3-5 days. Sometimes I write it like an oath: “I, Melissa Broder, will not log on to twitter for 3 days” and then I sign my name. The most I’ve made it in 2 years is 2 days.
14) How often do you feel depressed, moody, or nervous when you are offline, which goes away once you are back online?
Rarely
Occasionally
Frequently
Often
Always
Shit.
It’s like you know me…
It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my addiction.
This is very funny. One of the most entertaining posts on HTML in a long time.
<3
oops, i meant <3
that <3 was from me
but LPZ likes it too
i demand a balanced tweeting:eating pussy ratio
Fuck Twitter
What does intimacy look like in a culture/generation dominated by e-communication?
like the internet
exactly the same as it always has
Clearly not the same, Mike.
See:
– How often do you prefer the excitement* of the internet to intimacy with your partner? Often
– How often do you form new relationships* with online users?
Occasionally
– How often do you fear that life without the internet would be boring, empty, and joyless?
Always*
– How often do you feel depressed, moody, or nervous when you are offline, which goes away once you are back online?
Always
Clearly not the same, Mike.
See:
– How often do you prefer the excitement* of the internet to intimacy with your partner? Often
– How often do you form new relationships* with online users?
Occasionally
– How often do you fear that life without the internet would be boring, empty, and joyless?
Always*
– How often do you feel depressed, moody, or nervous when you are offline, which goes away once you are back online?
Always
Flaubert’s generation was dominated by the post office and look what happened: syphilis.
Yup, STD prevention. The Internet is good for that.
wolfpupy
INTIMACY IS A POSTURE LET’S NOT FORGET JUST LIKE ALL OF IDENTITY IN A WORLD WHERE THOUGHT = ACTION. OH WHAT IS ZZZZIPP DOING HERE SOMEONE IS THINKING ABOUT ZZZZIPP ON FACEBOOK OR SOMETHING I BET
the opposite of a posture, zzzzippp. intimacy is connection.
YES THAT IS RIGHT ZZZZIPP IS JUST HEAVY INTO PHOTONS TODAY
yeah, i get photon love.