The Circle is Now Unbroken
You knew this day would come. As anyone who has ever watched a serial TV drama knows, epic feuds are always bound to reverse into epic loves, because the same engine–passion–is what drives them both and draws the players inexorably to one another. Shall we recap for the latecomers?
Previously, on BattleTao Gawkerlactica: Gawker has been on Tao Lin’s ass for years now. They shat all over Miranda July when she blurbed his first novel, and then they declared a complete moratorium on ever covering him again. Then something happened that I don’t remember what it was that made them like him, then they didn’t like him again. Or something. Anyway, throughout all this, Tao has continually expressed nothing but affection for Gawker and a desire to be “covered” by them, but the relentlessness of that expression, coupled with his complete disregard for Gawker’s own desires, has made his version of courting more or less indestinguishable from harassment. He even went so far as to break into Gawker’s building and cover their entire office door with his trademark/anti-trademark BRITNEY SPEARS stickers. (To this day Gawker has never mentioned this breach of their inner sanctum. If you Google “Gawker sticker attack” you get the original Gothamist post that broke the story.)
Could this have ended any other way but in sweaty amazing internet-love/hate-sex? No. And so, today Gawker breaks their long Tao-related silence, not by covering him, but by collaborating with him. Yes, you heard me right. This week’s Hipster Sensibility Matrix, published yesterday, is co-authored by the Golden Hamster himself, and Gawker has now actually published the words “neutral facial expression.”
I’m sure Gawker is lying in bed right now, thinking to itself about what it just did, and how there are some lines you cross that you can’t come back from. Gawker hopes Tao stays for coffee. It wonders if he will wake up soon. It doesn’t know he likes to sleep until 4:30 in the afternoon. Gawker feels beautiful and terrified. Its chest pounds with a wild, crushing hope.
Ah, but which one is which?
One of the fascinating things about writing on the internet is the strange contagion of ideas. It undermines one of the key concepts in successful creative communities, correct attribution. If I still smoked dope I would think myself paranoid. Tao Lin lifted one of my comments about using the ‘real estate auction’ scam to lift the price of his Myspace into his next post. I accused him of being the Brittany Spears of contemporary literature (famous for being famous) and now that has appeared in your post. Coincidence? Over senstivity to the niceties on my part? Never mind. It’s all good clean fun. I think I’ll go read Ron Silliman, see which dead writer’s work he is trying to appropriate and squeeze into his ridiculous theories today. Ahh Americans, you gotta love ’em,
One of the fascinating things about writing on the internet is the strange contagion of ideas. It undermines one of the key concepts in successful creative communities, correct attribution. If I still smoked dope I would think myself paranoid. Tao Lin lifted one of my comments about using the ‘real estate auction’ scam to lift the price of his Myspace into his next post. I accused him of being the Brittany Spears of contemporary literature (famous for being famous) and now that has appeared in your post. Coincidence? Over senstivity to the niceties on my part? Never mind. It’s all good clean fun. I think I’ll go read Ron Silliman, see which dead writer’s work he is trying to appropriate and squeeze into his ridiculous theories today. Ahh Americans, you gotta love ’em,
damn
damn
i sense more than a little sarcasm and self-satisfaction in that last sentence
i sense more than a little sarcasm and self-satisfaction in that last sentence
great photos, Justin.
great photos, Justin.
Gawker is so fucking over now anyway. By firing his best editors/writers one after the other, Denton almost seems to have intentionally thrown the Tao Lin. (How many people have made this joke about surrender to bad writing??)
The Awl is all that remains of anything good there ever was about Gawker (if there ever was anything good at all).
Gawker is so fucking over now anyway. By firing his best editors/writers one after the other, Denton almost seems to have intentionally thrown the Tao Lin. (How many people have made this joke about surrender to bad writing??)
The Awl is all that remains of anything good there ever was about Gawker (if there ever was anything good at all).
Pimpin’ deluxe is what it is all about. Hellz yeah!
Pimpin’ deluxe is what it is all about. Hellz yeah!
this is the best pun i’ve read all day. i’m drunk.
this is the best pun i’ve read all day. i’m drunk.
I didn’t make a joke about bad writing, only one about surrender. You should watch season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she and Spike begin a relationship based on violent athletic sex because after she was killed and then resurrected, S&M is basically the only way she can process her feelings about having known Heaven and then lost it. Spike understands her because he is a vampire, ie the living damned, which in a very real sense, she too now is.
Thanks about the photos, pr.
I didn’t make a joke about bad writing, only one about surrender. You should watch season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she and Spike begin a relationship based on violent athletic sex because after she was killed and then resurrected, S&M is basically the only way she can process her feelings about having known Heaven and then lost it. Spike understands her because he is a vampire, ie the living damned, which in a very real sense, she too now is.
Thanks about the photos, pr.
Fuck, Justin. SPOILERS MUCH?? I’m only in season 2 and now I hate you.
Fuck, Justin. SPOILERS MUCH?? I’m only in season 2 and now I hate you.
P.S. Like this?
http://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Erotic-Memoir-Toni-Bentley/dp/0060732474/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242051023&sr=8-9
P.S. Like this?
http://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Erotic-Memoir-Toni-Bentley/dp/0060732474/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242051023&sr=8-9
I meant MY joke about surrendering: Throwing the Tao Lin (towel in).
I meant MY joke about surrendering: Throwing the Tao Lin (towel in).
Rachel, it’s still well worth watching. Anyway, now that we hate each other let’s hook up in like, what, three years?
Rachel, it’s still well worth watching. Anyway, now that we hate each other let’s hook up in like, what, three years?
i liked the joke.
i liked the joke.
Me too, it was really good.
Me too, it was really good.
I’m too stupid to get your joke. I just figured it out right now. Sorry. It’s allergy season and I’m barely functional.
I’m too stupid to get your joke. I just figured it out right now. Sorry. It’s allergy season and I’m barely functional.
after reading the post/comments i can’t get this mental image of ogre from revenge of the nerds yelling from the rooftop of the alpha beta house out of my mind.
you know that one scene where the two guys are carrying their massive trunk across campus and ogre spots them from afar and yells “NERRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!”
yeah.
buffy the vampire slayer 4 lyfe.
after reading the post/comments i can’t get this mental image of ogre from revenge of the nerds yelling from the rooftop of the alpha beta house out of my mind.
you know that one scene where the two guys are carrying their massive trunk across campus and ogre spots them from afar and yells “NERRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!”
yeah.
buffy the vampire slayer 4 lyfe.
it was a good joke
it was a good joke
ahhhhh. revenge of the nerds.
clap your hands everybody
everybody clap your hands
we come here on stage tonight
to do a show for you
we got a rocking rhuthm and a high tech sound
that’ll make you move your body down to the ground
we got booger presley on a mean guitar
and a rappin little o me lamar
we got tagashi beating on his gong
the boys and the moos are clapping along
and just when you thought you seen it all
along comes a lambda four feet tall
so wont you come on out here on the floor
so we can work our bodies like never before
break……………
thats verbatim. i know. i know. how sad is my life.
ahhhhh. revenge of the nerds.
clap your hands everybody
everybody clap your hands
we come here on stage tonight
to do a show for you
we got a rocking rhuthm and a high tech sound
that’ll make you move your body down to the ground
we got booger presley on a mean guitar
and a rappin little o me lamar
we got tagashi beating on his gong
the boys and the moos are clapping along
and just when you thought you seen it all
along comes a lambda four feet tall
so wont you come on out here on the floor
so we can work our bodies like never before
break……………
thats verbatim. i know. i know. how sad is my life.
Great joke dude.
Great joke dude.
when you can recite the song from ROTN II by memory then i will deem you “sad”
when you can recite the song from ROTN II by memory then i will deem you “sad”
Oh how the mighty have fallen
Oh how the mighty have fallen
true dat
true dat