April 16th, 2009 / 3:14 pm
Web Hype

Youtube teaches me something about America

I came to this video in the related videos YouTube attached to the one in Matthew’s post yesterday on tone and Diff’rent Strokes, and originally was interested in watching it mainly for the choice rap performance from Gary Coleman and his self-proclaimed “very different from Michael Jackson” buddy laying a hip-hop smackdown on the Will Shriner show. Dang.

It was in the interview after the performance, though, that the thing that really stood out about the video for me hit. Scroll to 5:08, right near the end, and observe the crowd and host’s reaction when the child star expresses his interest in becoming a short story writer.

He wants to write stories??? How funny! How absurd!

Will’s cheese-eating giggle quip, “Now Gary, all you gotta do is write a story…,” shaking his little hand like he’s got a pen.

Good job, America. Instead he turned into a crackhead or something, right?

Really, though, I can understand the punchline. Fucking writers. I’d laugh at a child too.

Gary, if you’re out there man, our submissions are closed right now, but you can consider yourself ‘solicited’ any day of any week.

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35 Comments

  1. Matthew Simmons

      Surprise ending: that guy with Coleman turned out to be Wu Tang’s Killah Priest years later.

  2. Matthew Simmons

      Surprise ending: that guy with Coleman turned out to be Wu Tang’s Killah Priest years later.

  3. Blake Butler

      i really want to believe that

  4. Blake Butler

      i really want to believe that

  5. Matthew Simmons

      Also, Gary Coleman’s MFA is a band name.

  6. Matthew Simmons

      Also, Gary Coleman’s MFA is a band name.

  7. Trevor

      just a stupid joke about him being short. they weren’t laughing at his writing ambitions, just his phrasing. not that that makes it any better.

  8. Trevor

      just a stupid joke about him being short. they weren’t laughing at his writing ambitions, just his phrasing. not that that makes it any better.

  9. Blake Butler

      i don’t think you are correct in that.

  10. Blake Butler

      i don’t think you are correct in that.

  11. Blake Butler

      maybe you are. oh well

  12. Blake Butler

      but he’s a child, why would it be a short joke?

  13. Blake Butler

      maybe you are. oh well

  14. Blake Butler

      but he’s a child, why would it be a short joke?

  15. Blake Butler

      i know he’s a midget, but hmm. no, i can’t be convinced that’s what the audience was laughing at.

  16. Blake Butler

      i know he’s a midget, but hmm. no, i can’t be convinced that’s what the audience was laughing at.

  17. Matthew Simmons

      Aw, man. Gary Coleman’s MFA is playing with Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head at the Vera Project on Sunday. Let’s break out our day glow pink sunglasses and leg warmers and go get in on that.

  18. Matthew Simmons

      Aw, man. Gary Coleman’s MFA is playing with Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head at the Vera Project on Sunday. Let’s break out our day glow pink sunglasses and leg warmers and go get in on that.

  19. The Ghost of Philip Drummond

      He wasn’t a child when this was aired. He was born in 1968. From Wikipedia:

      “[Coleman] suffers from a congenital kidney disease causing focal segmental glomerulosclerosis (an autoimmune destruction and alteration of the kidney), which halted his growth at an early age, leading to a small stature (4 ft 8 in; 1.42 m).”

      It was wordplay. It was a short-man joke. You’re digging too deep into this, Butler. You’re projecting your own feelings of worthlessness and persecution onto Gary Coleman.

  20. The Ghost of Philip Drummond

      He wasn’t a child when this was aired. He was born in 1968. From Wikipedia:

      “[Coleman] suffers from a congenital kidney disease causing focal segmental glomerulosclerosis (an autoimmune destruction and alteration of the kidney), which halted his growth at an early age, leading to a small stature (4 ft 8 in; 1.42 m).”

      It was wordplay. It was a short-man joke. You’re digging too deep into this, Butler. You’re projecting your own feelings of worthlessness and persecution onto Gary Coleman.

  21. pr

      “your own feelings of worthlessness and persecution”. For fucks sake, enough with the character assasinations. Enough. No one makes anyone read this blog. I just don’t get it.

      Also, teenagers are children. Maybe he’s not a quite a child in the video, maybe he’s 20? I don’t get why this warrants such unkindness.

      Blake was loving how he wants to be a story writer. So do I. God bless his young soul.

      I used to read the sunday times book review every sunday and I didn’t like the way it made me feel. So I stopped reading it! Life really is that simple in some ways, especially in regard to the “media” we choose to digest. I didn’t send nasty letters to the paper. I just don’t understand people.

  22. dan

      so last night we let this kid type up some of his novel on the staff computer. i think it’s pretty cool to see kids get into writing like that. i don’t know what i’m trying to say with this, other than yay writers. i’m hungry i think. goodnight, america.

  23. dan

      so last night we let this kid type up some of his novel on the staff computer. i think it’s pretty cool to see kids get into writing like that. i don’t know what i’m trying to say with this, other than yay writers. i’m hungry i think. goodnight, america.

  24. Blake Butler

      methinks mr. simmons is the only man who may have picked up on the tight-lipped version of ‘leading the witness’ play required for proper interpretation of this post.

  25. Blake Butler

      let’s start a by-mail band

  26. Blake Butler

      methinks mr. simmons is the only man who may have picked up on the tight-lipped version of ‘leading the witness’ play required for proper interpretation of this post.

  27. Blake Butler

      let’s start a by-mail band

  28. Blake Butler

      not necessarily to be confused for ‘bi male’ band

  29. Blake Butler

      not necessarily to be confused for ‘bi male’ band

  30. Matthew Simmons
  31. Matthew Simmons
  32. barry

      blake, the real question to me is, how the hell did you make it to 5:08 in that video.

      that first one matt posted was bad ass. the differnt strokes. i played it on the big screen for one of my comp classes today. it was a good time.

  33. barry

      blake, the real question to me is, how the hell did you make it to 5:08 in that video.

      that first one matt posted was bad ass. the differnt strokes. i played it on the big screen for one of my comp classes today. it was a good time.

  34. Matthew Simmons

      This makes me so happy. I am helping to educate people!

  35. Matthew Simmons

      This makes me so happy. I am helping to educate people!