August 29th, 2013 / 1:10 pm
Word Spaces

Thoughts — May 9th to May 31st

On May 9th, 2013 I started doing this thing where I’d force myself to write one thought for every hour that I was awake.  I did this regularly for 22 days.  The end came not from a lack of thoughts but, conversely, because I found myself totally overstimulated during a trip to New Orleans (referenced in the final entries) and it didn’t make sense to pick it up again after that.

I wasn’t sure what I could or would do with this project while I was doing it, but reading back over it now, I’m intrigued by the weird, oblique narrative it creates.  You get NBA playoff scores, observations from an 8-part Beatles documentary I was watching at the time, a legal “brouhaha” my roommate involved me in, and updates on the dogs I walk and cats I sit (my job).  It’s sort of feels like a liveblog/livetweet but different because the constraints and medium are different.  It was really fun to do, I hope it’s fun to read.

Need a finer knowledge of building materials.  Clapboard, vinyl, sheetrock – what are these things?

Fishkind’s party. Am I gonna go? Feel fat and stupid, but also like drinking.

George Harrison was from an Irish family with the last name “French.”

I can’t tell if it’s foggy or if I’m just tired.

Dreamed about the longest set of monkey bars I’d ever seen. It wasn’t even that long, maybe 20 feet.

Types of triangles: equilateral, isosceles, scalene, acute, right, obtuse. That’s more than I remember though I can remember all of those.

Submitting your poetry manuscript to contests and publishers feels the same as not submitting your poetry manuscript to contests and publishers.

Black coffee, white lies.

Once, about two months ago, I saw a car with a Hawaii license plate. (I’m in Brooklyn.)

Trying to think of something besides food or sleep to look forward to.

Girl in brown shirt, black shorts, green shoes couldn’t be running any slower.

I’m always surprised when Drano works.

“I haven’t heard about the [thesis] reading yet, sort of hope they forgot to invite me.”

Missed shaving in two places around my nostrils.

The trombone is a beautiful instrument.

G. changed her cat’s name from Raphael to Smush because it likes to headbutt your hand when you extend it towards him. By this logic, 85% of cats should have their names changed to Smush.

“Hi G., Smush has been a very friendly host so far. One thing: I noticed when I went to feed him that there were a number of ants crawling around his food bowl… is there protocol for getting rid of them?”

Miami def. Chicago 104-94.

It’s weird and nice when rain doesn’t come in through an open window.

I remember feeling a particularly sharp disappointment last year when I realized my mom is a bad photographer.

I’m drinking coffee out of one of those Greek-themed coffee cups for the first time. (How is this possible?)

Birds chirping in my right ear, the BQE in my left ear.

It rained this morning.

It sucks when the bus sucks.

Thought I saw a man drinking out of a pay phone earlier, like I thought the mouthpiece had been converted into some sort of spigot and was ejecting liquid (presumably water) and that’s why his face was so close to it.

Saw a three-legged dog tied to a tree. When it peed it went on two legs.

Thought I saw a man levitating but it turned out he was on a ladder the same color as the background.

Rain coming back after having been gone the latter part of the morning and most of the afternoon.  Feel excited.  There is thunder.

Some of my friends are walking to midtown Manhattan Hooters from Sunset Park, Brooklyn (~10 miles).

Sheaf of papers fell on my head from a top shelf and now I have a paper cut on my face.

Letter from the American Academy of Poets asking me to become a member (for a fee), I wonder how they got my address.

Some sidewalks dry faster than other sidewalks.

Hooters is much more of a restaurant than I expected.

Inside party bus. Security took my beer.

Peed ib my pants.

The Beatles songwriting maturation can be characterized as love songs to character sketches.

Jackass vs. Tom Green: who woke up their parents better.

It’s mother’s day. Mom said she’s going to the gym.

The Beatles made sure to “conquer” the British market before coming to America. (Important.)

Sunny and windy.  (I’m inside.)

San Antonio 84, Golden State 84 – 30 seconds left.

87 – 97 Golden State (in OT).

Startled Smush by holding his sides and humming above his head. It’s weird how cat breeds aren’t nearly as prominent as dog breeds.

Sat outside grocery store listening to radio while car shook violently from ocean gusts.

I don’t think I received one meaningful email today.

Dreamed a bearded man in a striped suit was slowly putting his right into his pants pocket. It wasn’t ominous though he was very tall. In his other hand were flowers. His hair was red.

Another dream where there were glaring typos all over my poetry manuscript.

I think my roommate’s being sued.

New dog: Maura. Has small pink growth on top of head. Like a pencil eraser but a little bigger. I try to avoid it when petting her.

I’ve been getting irrationally mad at the wind a lot recently.

Blue Line Bagels, near the Smith-9th street subway station, is not good.

Recalled an embarrassing interaction on AOL instant messenger from 2004, sort of fantasizing about killing the other participant to protect my dignity.

Saw an overweight man with no legs.

At the height of Beatlemania, John Lennon felt depressed because he thought he was getting fat.

Stray cat got in the house momentarily, I think.  Heard a lot of shouting from the living room.

Bulls 29, Heat 38.

Bulls 65, Heat 88 (final).

Removed ingrown hair next to belly button. (Gross.)

Had a dream Leigh Stein was Asian.

Sometimes when my roommates speak Italian it’s hard not to understand it as gibberish.

The growth on Maura’s head seems to have grown. Like a growth on the growth. Also some dry blood on it.

Saw a black Ford Bronco with smoke pouring out from under the hood.

I wonder if I could order a sandwich with two different bagel halves as the bread.

I think my days with Sebastian might be numbered, he tries to bite everyone now.

My roommate wants me to sign something so he doesn’t get sued.

Sun blinding on the Atlantic, relatively waveless.

Rudy Gay had vision problems for the past four years?

Power’s out.

Going to IKEA to pee and read.

I want to start a band called Peter, Paul, and Larry.

Almost started crying while listening to an elderly woman recite poetry about her dead husband while charging my phone at Hope and Anchor.

Dreamed about a rhinoceros riding a bicycle and geese with char marks on them.

At bank awaiting legal advice from cousin re: whether to sign document my roommate wants me to sign. Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” is blaring.

Now that Foo Fighters song about air travel, being in the sky. (Kind of pleasant sitting here waiting for a phone call, which I could do anywhere.)

Man laughing demonically in back of deli.

Furious at roommate for asking me to sign legal document with false information in it, trying to think of most enjoyable form revenge.

Almost started crying on phone with mom as she described her plans for volunteering after retirement, which include taking underprivileged kids to art museums.

Signed revised legal document at bank after talking to cousin. Notary spoke Italian.

Girl sitting in front of me did trunk twist stretch and made direct eye contact with me as I was taking a huge bite out of a sandwich.

1300 in cash in my backpack.

I’ve been to four different banks today.

Found an old note: “remorseful = horse, resourceful = sheep”

Sandwich man seemed genuinely disappointed I only wanted coffee.

A lot of people wearing suspenders today.

Gizmo’s owner wants to add me on LinkedIn.  When I think of my professional network all I see is a bunch of dogs with their tongues out.

Had a dream my mom didn’t know what Applebee’s was.

There are always people arguing at Smith and 9th street. One of them always asks if I want a haircut.

It was supposed to be sunny today but it’s raining.

Saw a man loading a pair of crutches into a small motorboat in the canal.

Saw a cat on a leash.

It would be funny if there were sober up parties where everyone arrived wasted and left sober.

“Encourage” is a good verb.

Listening to the Beatles is not as fun as watching documentaries about them.

It’s hard to eat salad fast.

Finally figured out how to resize photosets in tumblr while maintaining alignment.  This has plagued me for years.

6am is more exciting than 7am.

Enza gets a little more food than Gaetana. They’re half sisters.

The problem with waking up at 6 is that you’re tired at 10.

The ocean’s calm today. The waterfront museum is open again.

Every day this week has felt like Friday.

Maura ate a spider. It was small but still…

I wish there weren’t seasons and day to day temperature variations were enormous.

What does pomp and circumstance even mean?

Why don’t people steal mail more often?

Envisioned an elaborate revenge scenario for an old man who yelled at me while Sebastian pooped in his planter.

Mom says she liked Ringo the best.

Just got text: “Bro they just called your name at the thesis reading”

I’m due for a phone upgrade.

I would rather read a boring story told beautifully than an exciting story told beautifully.

Not having photos of family members in your house creates a distinct affect.

More waves than birds. More birds than boats.

Two helicopters flying into the same cloud.

“I like credit cards” –Ted Berrigan

Sometimes the sun doesn’t set, it just goes away.

More beautiful than watching the sun set is watching the lights in the city come on.

I’m starting to feel bad for the stray cat that keeps trying to get in our house. Today it didn’t even try to get in, it just wanted to play. Maybe its intentions are pure?

Jammed my foot in a revolving door last week.  Still hurts.

The deli was closed all morning, then it opened.

Have been feeling “addicted” to social media lately… though I genuinely enjoy the interaction and stimulation it provides… so where is the harm?

A cough comes through the wall.

I keep forgetting to make a dentist appointment. It’s been years now.

I almost stepped on a snail today. It was translucent and weird.

Spurs 105, Grizzlies 83.

The water in the harbor actually seems to be flowing today.

Cashews taste like what I imagine Legos might taste like if Legos tasted like anything.

Two loud pops.  Fireworks or gunshots?

It feels like I’m wearing headphones but I know I’m not.

Desperately trying to fit 9 more pages into my manuscript to meet the Coconut Books page requirement.

“Phil Jackson once dreamed about spanking Kobe Bryant” – NBA’s Facebook page.

I think I’m going to start shaving at night so my face isn’t so pink and raw during the day.

There’s a hair on Maura’s growth now.

I have to sneeze but I can’t.

Sebastian seems drugged.

Saw a man with too much sunscreen on. He looked like a ghost.

I’ve seen plenty of cars get towed but I’m still not totally sure how they do it.

New phone. Big tornado in Oklahoma.

The next time someone says something I don’t believe I’m going to say “I don’t believe you.”

Had a dream I was in a competition with someone from my MFA program to see who could learn the most Less Than Jake songs across a variety of instruments.  It was like the academic decathlon in Billy Madison, but with instruments and Less Than Jake songs.

April showers bring May mosquitoes.

I can put books on my phone now, but which?

Sebastian stepped in gum.

Sitting inside after being in the sun all day, I feel like a glazed donut.

Had a dream that I left my signed copy of The Angel Esmerelda by Don Delillo at G.’s house in a room I’d never seen before.

Google says 30% chance of heavy thunderstorms.

E. works for B. now.

Can’t see Manhattan, New Jersey, or Staten Island through the fog.

Three small dogs tried to attack Pearl and Ruby (both medium sized).

I’ve been seeing a lot of able-bodied 20 & 30 somethings with canes.

It didn’t rain.

A kid in the park said his dog was 35 years old.

Trying hard to remember to cut my fingernails.

Indiana 61, Miami 59 in the 3rd.

Still a 30% chance of heavy thunderstorms.

From an old notebook: “I’m wearing all black and I feel dumb.”

I was born on a Wednesday.

My emails to dog and cat clients always sound sinister, unsavory.  For example: “I’m planning a big weekend with the boys!”

50% chance of heavy thunderstorms today.

If there’s clinical depression, is there clinical happiness?

Ruby seems more like a small horse than a dog. (She’s a Saluki.)

Ok it rained.

I think I might have allergies. I keep sneezing. I’m 26 and this has never happened before.

Had a dream there were signs that said “you have to be over 66″ to enter this house.”

Thought it was snowing. It’s 64 degrees.

A group of construction workers eating lunch in a distinctly squirrel/chipmunk-like manner.

Saw a woman wearing a wig and smoking the longest cigarette I’ve ever seen.

One cat is pooping, the other is eating.

A cup’s shadow looks like spilled coffee.

I’m in Queens for the first time in 5 years (excluding airports).

Conversation centered on diet and exercise. C. told the story of how he broke his back. He summarized by saying he got fat and addicted to Percocet.

Thank god there is a cat at this party, now I have something to do.

My generation is going to live longer than any previous generation then we’ll die.

A number of situations can be described with the simile “it’s like trying to describe baseball to someone who’s never seen it played.”

Had a dream I got a job playing drums in the mall for one hour a week.

Maura’s growth seems to have broken open. There’s blood coming out of it.

It’s Memorial Day. I’m cat sitting.

I don’t like summer and I don’t like winter.

Woke up with a boner. That hasn’t happened in a while.

Synonym has no synonym, neither does antonym.

I’m getting better at carrying Maura up the stairs but I think she’s getting heavier.

Something about having multiple bucket lists.

From the Poetry Foundation: “Images of Don Share are forthcoming.”

At what point does a balloon become a blimp?

“One night that week I had a dream about spanking Kobe and giving Shaq a smack. ‘Shaq needs and Kobe wants—the mystery of the Lakers,’ I wrote in my journal.”  — Phil Jackson, in Eleven Rings.

I want pants and a shirt that are the same color as my skin.

It’s nice when the windows are open and the fans are on – no one can hear each other so no one talks.

Had a dream the remaining impression of which was total narcissism and self-involvement. Made coffee and worked on poems.

I’m trying to get sunburned.

Saw a man with a large bow (as for a bow and arrow) outside a deli. He was talking on his cell phone.

Switchback Books’ Open Reading Period has this stipulation: “Poet must be a woman; our definition of ‘woman’ is broad.”

Saw a kid throw a baseball bat at another kid after striking out.

Saw a man talking to a remote controlled car.

“When nothing is done, / nothing is left undone.” –Tao Te Ching

“You can’t get mad at the truth” – Brian Shaw (Lakers assistant coach)

Woke at 7, went jogging. 80 degrees. Showered, pooped, packed. Drove to Carroll Street subway stop, searched for parking, found parking. Went in bagel place but it was busy so I left. Took F to Jackson Heights and Q33 bus to LaGuardia. Had trouble finding C terminal, found C terminal. Woman at United desk told me I was at wrong airport. Supposed to be at Newark. Went outside, got in cab. Negotiated flat rate to Newark — $100. I have no idea if this is fair or not but figured it would be good not to have the driver running up the meter.

Made flight, just barely. Security line took 30 minutes. Have a feeling I grossly overpaid cab driver. $120 with tip. Had time to eat a bagel with nothing on it. Also bought half pound of cashews that I have a feeling I’ll never eat.  Woman boarding in front of me was just like Jill in the Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill.

Man on shuttle bus repeated excited things about alligators into his cell phone. I noticed he didn’t have any luggage.

Saw a combination luggage/liquor store.

Met Ken, Aviva, Molly, Blake, David, Nicole, Gene, Jenny, Tim, etc. Mike showed up later. Discussed sports betting and ebooks.

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  1. Erik Stinson

      the best of these are about facing profound confusion with a specific level of calm

  2. Willis Plummer

      really great

  3. megan boyle

      if the overweight man had legs his weight would look distributed normally i bet

      read this while driving yesterday and again now, so sweet, would like to read 300+ page thing of this by you andrew

  4. Jackson Nieuwland

      Thoroughly enjoyed

  5. Weeatherhead


  6. Weeatherhead


  7. Weeatherhead

      lol i think he was overweight regardless of legs. he had gut weight.

      i’m glad you enjoyed.