November 3rd, 2009 / 4:12 pm
Craft Notes

The Improbabilities of Snoop Dogg

snoop-doggI assert to you 3 cases, lyrics from “Fuck Wit Dre Day,” from the album The Chronic in which Snoop Dogg makes multiple guest appearances:

(1) “I’m hollin’ 187 with my dick in yo mouth”

187 is the numeric California penal code for murder, and the allusion is simple: Snoop will murder “you” (the second person here operates as Easy-E, a former friend and subject of this song) while [you] perform fellatio on him; this is not about homoeroticism, but an abridged version of power for the disenfranchised. The method of homicide, as implicated by a precedence of firearm mention, is a gunshot to the head. The narrative incongruency, of course, is that Snoop would somehow have to shoot Easy-E in the head without shooting his own penis. This, while possible, would be very difficult.

(2) “Long Beach in the motherfuckin house”

A census in 2008 reported Long Beach, California’s population as 492,682. In a fit of hard journalism, let me just say that the residents of Long Beach are not in the motherfuckin house; that the house wherein mothers are fucked may be in Long Beach, but not the other way around. This kind of thoughtlessness and inverted logic is poisoning our youth. All the black kids like the back of the bus, and I think Rosa Parks would be sad.

(3) “I heard she was a ‘Frisco dyke”

Sexual orientation is complicated, and lesbianism perhaps is even more so. A woman may make out with another woman out of curiosity but still be straight. Heterosexual woman may politically align themselves with Dykedom, without being with other women. Even the act of 2x women “making love” falls under scrutiny — for the lineage from foreplay to penetration is vague, and only the latter considered official copulation by some. In short, Snoop’s friends — who no doubt relayed the misinformation about Easy-E’s mother’s location and orientation — have no idea whether it’s true, and are probably conveying such material with rhetorical agency.

In Mason & Dixon, 11 calendar days are colonized by pygmies, splitting half of the novel’s timeline into latency. I mean, wtf. But we let it slide; if anything, we love it. I also think of Ben Marcus, who explores the incongruencies of logic in his conceits, exploits them for stunning results. The legitimacy of Snoop Dogg’s lyrics lie not in their rationale, but in the eloquent way with which he embraces his authorial authority. Fiction is cupped between two palms: the improbable and the impossible. Writers, you are God on paper, good times.

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32 Comments

  1. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      I like this more than I can say. I wasn’t certain where you were going (or why) until the end. You make an important point

  2. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      I like this more than I can say. I wasn’t certain where you were going (or why) until the end. You make an important point

  3. Lily Hoang

      Thank you for this, Jimmy. This will be my lecture in Fiction Workshop tonight.

  4. Lily Hoang

      Thank you for this, Jimmy. This will be my lecture in Fiction Workshop tonight.

  5. man

      It seems like you’re good for making jokes about your Jimmy.

  6. man

      It seems like you’re good for making jokes about your Jimmy.

  7. Amber

      But does anybody mention nutz on yo chin? I didn’t think so.

  8. Amber

      But does anybody mention nutz on yo chin? I didn’t think so.

  9. Gian

      It isn’t necessarily a gunshot to the head. Depends from which angle Eazy is blowing him, but he could shoot him anywhere. Hell, it doesn’t even necessarily have to be a shooting. Snoop could be stabbing him in the back with a knife!

      With his Mama and his Daddy hollin’ baaabay

  10. Gian

      It isn’t necessarily a gunshot to the head. Depends from which angle Eazy is blowing him, but he could shoot him anywhere. Hell, it doesn’t even necessarily have to be a shooting. Snoop could be stabbing him in the back with a knife!

      With his Mama and his Daddy hollin’ baaabay

  11. Lincoln

      The real question is why you would shout the police code for murder after you’ve committed murder.

  12. Lincoln

      The real question is why you would shout the police code for murder after you’ve committed murder.

  13. man

      Irony? (Is that the right word?)

      “And you don’t stop. Cuz it’s 1-8-7 on a motherfuckin cop.”

  14. man

      Irony? (Is that the right word?)

      “And you don’t stop. Cuz it’s 1-8-7 on a motherfuckin cop.”

  15. Ryan Call

      is that smashmouth? i love them!

  16. Ryan Call

      is that smashmouth? i love them!

  17. man

      what

  18. man

      what

  19. daniel bailey

      perhaps snoop’s dick is so big and hard, his thrusts so powerful, that they penetrate the back of easy-e’s head…

  20. daniel bailey

      perhaps snoop’s dick is so big and hard, his thrusts so powerful, that they penetrate the back of easy-e’s head…

  21. andrew

      this post is one of the best ever at least recently

  22. andrew

      this post is one of the best ever at least recently

  23. barry

      motha fuck dre motha fuck snoop motha fuck death row

  24. barry

      motha fuck dre motha fuck snoop motha fuck death row

  25. michael james

      ‘“Long Beach in the motherfuckin house”

      metaphorical house. not literal.

      actually, its not metaphorical either.

      the earth is a house by the understanding of a house as a dwelling, or as a place where you live.

      everything is a house, including your own bodyskin.

      i believe the majority of legitmacy lies within rationale, or is deeply affected by it.

      ‘“I’m hollin’ 187 with my dick in yo mouth”

      the observation may not be as simple. even while Easy may be the target, it is possible for Snoop to be saying he will murder those dudes who roll with Easy, and not easy himself. It is more embarrassing for Easy to be performing felatio on Snoop while Snoop murders those Easy cares for (and makes more rational sense) than for Snoop to kill Easy while he is sucking his dick…

  26. michael james

      ‘“Long Beach in the motherfuckin house”

      metaphorical house. not literal.

      actually, its not metaphorical either.

      the earth is a house by the understanding of a house as a dwelling, or as a place where you live.

      everything is a house, including your own bodyskin.

      i believe the majority of legitmacy lies within rationale, or is deeply affected by it.

      ‘“I’m hollin’ 187 with my dick in yo mouth”

      the observation may not be as simple. even while Easy may be the target, it is possible for Snoop to be saying he will murder those dudes who roll with Easy, and not easy himself. It is more embarrassing for Easy to be performing felatio on Snoop while Snoop murders those Easy cares for (and makes more rational sense) than for Snoop to kill Easy while he is sucking his dick…

  27. Blake Butler

      i think you’ve got a book on your hands jimmy

  28. Blake Butler

      i think you’ve got a book on your hands jimmy

  29. Tom
  30. Tom
  31. Jimmy Chen

      great site tom — god i’m so slow

  32. Jimmy Chen

      great site tom — god i’m so slow