November 10th, 2009 / 4:29 pm
Author News & Massive People

In Memoriam Blake Butler (1979-2009)

on the train... receding, receding, receding....  (sniff, sniff)

on the train... receding, receding, receding.... (sniff, sniff)

Yes, sadly, Blake Butler passed away last night. The omnipresent electronic friend-of-everyone expired in an insomnia-induced rage of language and, like the Monty Python parrot in that famous sketch, is now an ex-Blake.

No more, alas, will schoolboy-grinning Blake Butler apocalypse creation in every sentence. No, strike that! In every phrase! No, strike that! In every syllable.

Make room now O Pantheon of young ones ripped from us far too early. Jesus, move over. Joan of Arc, a little to the left. Catullus, get your cock out of JFK’s ass. And give Blake some space. (and Seth, quit gawking).

And, Mr. Chicago pastry-delicacy chef get your ass in gear (so safe on earth) and start on something. Seth was a swan– what will you make of Blake? A peanut butter rabbit? A marshmallow weasel? A treacle beagle? woof-woof!

And just thinking now of Man’s Best-Friend I am bawling. Bawling, bawling, bawling.

What internet void has our great leader Blake Butler left? What cold and massive black hole of rubbish will form around his e-grave?

And, no, Blake Butler is not dead. This is a fake obit.

And I’d like to see more actually. Bring them on.

Greener (and sweeter) pastures now

Greener (and sweeter) pastures now-- bawl, bawl, bawl,.....


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59 Comments

  1. Roxane

      I just don’t get this feature at all.

  2. Roxane

      I just don’t get this feature at all.

  3. Rauan Klassnik

      sorry….

  4. Rauan Klassnik

      sorry….

  5. drew kalbach

      whats there to get? i think it’s pretty straightforward.

      ‘treacle beagle’, good job.

  6. drew kalbach

      whats there to get? i think it’s pretty straightforward.

      ‘treacle beagle’, good job.

  7. Rauan Klassnik

      thank you…. these obits seem to be coin-flips,….

  8. Rauan Klassnik

      thank you…. these obits seem to be coin-flips,….

  9. Nick

      Blake was born in ’78? I just realized I had no idea what his age was. I would’ve guessed younger than me. He’s got a painting in his closet.

  10. Roxane

      Nothing I guess.

  11. Charles Dodd White

      I guess it’s supposed to be wryly hip or hiply wry, but I’m voting unquestionably irrelevant.

  12. Nick

      Blake was born in ’78? I just realized I had no idea what his age was. I would’ve guessed younger than me. He’s got a painting in his closet.

  13. Roxane

      Nothing I guess.

  14. Charles Dodd White

      I guess it’s supposed to be wryly hip or hiply wry, but I’m voting unquestionably irrelevant.

  15. Nathan Tyree

      ’78? the fucker is a baby! A child! A full five years younger than me. I no longer have any respect for him

  16. Nathan Tyree

      ’78? the fucker is a baby! A child! A full five years younger than me. I no longer have any respect for him

  17. Matthew Simmons

      He whale be mished.

  18. Matthew Simmons

      He whale be mished.

  19. mark leidner

      i’m sad blake died before bob dylan

  20. mark leidner

      i’m sad blake died before bob dylan

  21. john sakkis

      having written actual obits for actual dead bestfriends i don’t like this. but that’s just me.

      i don’t even know blake and i got a physical jolt when the page loaded, quickly scanning to the bottom to make sure it was a joke.

  22. john sakkis

      having written actual obits for actual dead bestfriends i don’t like this. but that’s just me.

      i don’t even know blake and i got a physical jolt when the page loaded, quickly scanning to the bottom to make sure it was a joke.

  23. Blake Butler

      79

  24. Blake Butler

      79

  25. Amy McDaniel

      really? my initial reaction to this was, Oo do me next Rauan do my fake obit! i think it’s funny and smart and tender. we all know people who have died too soon, but surely death is something we can still make light of, no?

  26. Amy McDaniel

      really? my initial reaction to this was, Oo do me next Rauan do my fake obit! i think it’s funny and smart and tender. we all know people who have died too soon, but surely death is something we can still make light of, no?

  27. Amy McDaniel

      also, don’t yall realize that mostly rauan is just begging for someone to write his fake obit? i call dibs.

  28. Amy McDaniel

      also, don’t yall realize that mostly rauan is just begging for someone to write his fake obit? i call dibs.

  29. john sakkis

      hi amy,

      yeah of course, i’m just not into it.

  30. john sakkis

      hi amy,

      yeah of course, i’m just not into it.

  31. Amy McDaniel

      hi john! that’s totally fair.

  32. Amy McDaniel

      hi john! that’s totally fair.

  33. Nathan Tyree

      even younger! damn you, Butler

  34. Nathan Tyree

      even younger! damn you, Butler

  35. Nathan Tyree

      We must make light of death. If we didn’t, living would be unbearable. Corpses in waiting should laugh at the skulls they will become

  36. Nathan Tyree

      We must make light of death. If we didn’t, living would be unbearable. Corpses in waiting should laugh at the skulls they will become

  37. Clara

      I have yet to see a photo of a writer where the writer in question does not give the impression that he/she thinks that he/she is ten times better looking than they actually are.

  38. Clara

      I have yet to see a photo of a writer where the writer in question does not give the impression that he/she thinks that he/she is ten times better looking than they actually are.

  39. Janey Smith

      Wait. I thought Blake Butler died, like, a long time ago?

  40. Janey Smith

      Wait. I thought Blake Butler died, like, a long time ago?

  41. Rauan Klassnik

      smart woman !!—-

  42. Rauan Klassnik

      smart woman !!—-

  43. Jonny Ross

      maybe if we don’t talk, think or joke about it, it will go away maybe.

  44. Jonny Ross

      maybe if we don’t talk, think or joke about it, it will go away maybe.

  45. Ryan Call

      lol

  46. Ryan Call

      lol

  47. jesusangelgarcia

      I dunno. I feel like some of y’all are way too serious (or too sober?). This was clearly a joke from the first word.

      In poor taste? That’s a judgment I’m not interested in making.

      The beagle nearly made me cry. Sweet memories of an ex-gf. No, she wasn’t a dog.

      Thank you, Mr. Klassnik, Mr. Butler.

  48. jesusangelgarcia

      I dunno. I feel like some of y’all are way too serious (or too sober?). This was clearly a joke from the first word.

      In poor taste? That’s a judgment I’m not interested in making.

      The beagle nearly made me cry. Sweet memories of an ex-gf. No, she wasn’t a dog.

      Thank you, Mr. Klassnik, Mr. Butler.

  49. reynard
  50. reynard
  51. michael james

      for a good ten minutes i stared into that puppys eyes and i saw god

  52. michael james

      for a good ten minutes i stared into that puppys eyes and i saw god

  53. Nacho Day Redux Barry Hannah. « Sean Blog: It All Relates 2 Writing

      […] I thought Blake was dead. Must have got a clutch of some real nachos [for […]

  54. jesusangelgarcia

      yes. reminders are essential.

  55. jesusangelgarcia

      yes. reminders are essential.

  56. jesusangelgarcia

      that’s what I’m talkin bout. LOVE that beagle. the girl?…

  57. jesusangelgarcia

      that’s what I’m talkin bout. LOVE that beagle. the girl?…

  58. Andy

      I’ve been coming to this site for a couple months now and I’m not sure if everyone here knows each other or if it just seems that way. Or am I just not up to date with blogs? I chose to write here because you’re calling this guy Rauan out as if you know him. I’m not being critical here at all. I just want to know if every one here knows every one else on this site. Obviously, other than me.

  59. Andy

      I’ve been coming to this site for a couple months now and I’m not sure if everyone here knows each other or if it just seems that way. Or am I just not up to date with blogs? I chose to write here because you’re calling this guy Rauan out as if you know him. I’m not being critical here at all. I just want to know if every one here knows every one else on this site. Obviously, other than me.