November 19th, 2009 / 2:29 am
Author Spotlight

Some Jews are OK?

Thanks to Tony O’Neill for the tip off: christwire.org calls Jonathan Safran Foer “A Jewish Star Christians Really Can Follow!”.

Some direct quotes from the article:

John Updike crowned Foer the genius voice of his generation, but sadly, the rest of that generation was off growing goatees and clicking around MySpace.

His soaring words put cruel and negative Jewish writers like Gary Shteyngart, Sam Lipsyte and Michael Chabon to shame. All they write about is chasing homely girls and how they lack the jocky virility to open a mayonnaise jar. Pathetic!

foer

Snap! Take that Lipsyte, ya hack!

Tags: ,

56 Comments

  1. james yeh

      wow, lolz

  2. james yeh

      wow, lolz

  3. Lincoln

      The next sentence of that quote is pretty gold/absurd too:

      “Shteyngart’s work is full of ill-advised immigrant humor while being secretly critical of the foundations of American democracy and morality.”

      “ill-advised immigrant humor”

  4. Lincoln

      The next sentence of that quote is pretty gold/absurd too:

      “Shteyngart’s work is full of ill-advised immigrant humor while being secretly critical of the foundations of American democracy and morality.”

      “ill-advised immigrant humor”

  5. james yeh

      “[Lipsyte] is possibly the meanest man ever allowed near a sharpened pencil.”

  6. james yeh

      “[Lipsyte] is possibly the meanest man ever allowed near a sharpened pencil.”

  7. james yeh

      it’s funny how angry he is at them

  8. james yeh

      it’s funny how angry he is at them

  9. james yeh

      actually rereading it, it’s kind of disturbing

  10. james yeh

      actually rereading it, it’s kind of disturbing

  11. daniel bailey

      oh wow.

      “His words are the lyrics to my favorite songs, they sing in my heart every time I walk by a keyboard like the gentle wings of excited angels. Come fly with me, come fly away!”

      how does writing like this happen?

  12. daniel bailey

      oh wow.

      “His words are the lyrics to my favorite songs, they sing in my heart every time I walk by a keyboard like the gentle wings of excited angels. Come fly with me, come fly away!”

      how does writing like this happen?

  13. daniel bailey

      the author’s bio says he’s a “Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer.”

      no joke…

  14. daniel bailey

      the author’s bio says he’s a “Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer.”

      no joke…

  15. daniel bailey

      this essay is pretty spot on, just like the jsf essay: http://christwire.org/2009/11/sodomy-is-never-the-answer-2/

      “As years of marriage drag on, men and women seek new thrills to feel that same rush of their first copulation experience. What these couples really need is to find pleasure in parenting, to take joy in the athletic and academic successes of their children, to be humble but hardworking members of their community, whether it’s being more active in your church or volunteering to fight the homeless.”

      god says take up arms against the homeless.

  16. daniel bailey

      this essay is pretty spot on, just like the jsf essay: http://christwire.org/2009/11/sodomy-is-never-the-answer-2/

      “As years of marriage drag on, men and women seek new thrills to feel that same rush of their first copulation experience. What these couples really need is to find pleasure in parenting, to take joy in the athletic and academic successes of their children, to be humble but hardworking members of their community, whether it’s being more active in your church or volunteering to fight the homeless.”

      god says take up arms against the homeless.

  17. james yeh

      beat their raggedy asses

  18. james yeh

      beat their raggedy asses

  19. Josh

      i don’t understand…so this website’s not a joke?

  20. Josh

      i don’t understand…so this website’s not a joke?

  21. Chris
  22. Chris
  23. Ross Brighton

      I prefer John (without the “athon”) Safran (without the Foer).
      Him vs. God is amazing.

  24. Ross Brighton

      I prefer John (without the “athon”) Safran (without the Foer).
      Him vs. God is amazing.

  25. george splittorf

      no one is talking about the jew on jew crime that was neal pollack’s takedown of JSF years ago. he literally wiped his ass with JSF’s book and sang about it on stage.

      the essay should quote ann coulter’s comment about christians being perfected jews.

  26. george splittorf

      no one is talking about the jew on jew crime that was neal pollack’s takedown of JSF years ago. he literally wiped his ass with JSF’s book and sang about it on stage.

      the essay should quote ann coulter’s comment about christians being perfected jews.

  27. Chris

      Tonight I watched John Safran dress as the Elephant Man and try to find a Thai bride, accuse his father of being a self-hating Jew after he got a nose job for a deviated septum, and attempt to gas David Irving in a radio studio.

  28. Chris

      Tonight I watched John Safran dress as the Elephant Man and try to find a Thai bride, accuse his father of being a self-hating Jew after he got a nose job for a deviated septum, and attempt to gas David Irving in a radio studio.

  29. ce.

      “One of my favorite books in my personal library is “Sodomy: The Sickest Sin on Earth” by Dr. Dennis Corle (he’s also the author of “Backyard Football!” for kids).”

      The irony of those titles is amazing.

  30. ce.

      “One of my favorite books in my personal library is “Sodomy: The Sickest Sin on Earth” by Dr. Dennis Corle (he’s also the author of “Backyard Football!” for kids).”

      The irony of those titles is amazing.

  31. Tony O'Neill

      I found this interesting article about whether christwire.org is a joke or not. There’s a link below, but here is a quote from the piece, citing christwire’s rabid homophobia as proof that it is an “anti-Christian” satirical site:

      ” We’ll just use one example to show you how atheistic fueled Christ Wire is a bunch of unbiblical rubbish. The Onion, Landover Baptist, and all the rest of those unsaved interweb abominations use the same ditch of devilry to blast their unwashed liberal message to naive and ignorant folk.

      The easiest example to use is the anti-gay belief which Christwire.org seems to promote. If you read over their “gay agenda” posts there is prevalent usage of simplistic wording and beliefs like “homogay”, “tiddlydoos”, “Twiddle Anus Worshiper”, “[Gays rape] young boys” followed by an extreme corrective response like “drown the gays” or “fill them up with gun powder…and set a fire“.

      Every post follows this exact same pattern.

      So what is the problem with this and how are we able to tell these websites are a total fraud?

      Because there is NEVER any relevant or rational information that reasonably supports their position against homosexuality.

      IN FACT, there is a Mt. Everest sized depository of psychological, religious, and ethical information available showing conclusively that homosexuality is one behavior among many other deficient and wrong behaviors that wither in deference to practicing the traditional family values of a man and woman together in holy matrimony.

      Christwire.org is negatively portraying gays and homosexuals from a childish, hateful, and extreme perspective, a perspective that we all know is illogical and abhorrent. The technique they are using is called reverse psychology which for most people is an incredibly difficult methodology to unwind.

      Reverse psychology is a persuasion technique involving the false advocacy of a belief or behavior contrary to the belief or behavior which is actually being advocated.

      In other words, ChristWire.org through a simple psychological technique is attempting to convince you that homosexuality is right.”

      http://outragedrichard.com/home/fake-or-real-the-truth-behind-christwireorg-landoverbaptistorg-theonioncom-fake-satire-exposed-atheists-and-immoral-liberals-use-reverse-psychology-to-promote-gays-and-homosexual-agenda/

  32. Tony O'Neill

      I found this interesting article about whether christwire.org is a joke or not. There’s a link below, but here is a quote from the piece, citing christwire’s rabid homophobia as proof that it is an “anti-Christian” satirical site:

      ” We’ll just use one example to show you how atheistic fueled Christ Wire is a bunch of unbiblical rubbish. The Onion, Landover Baptist, and all the rest of those unsaved interweb abominations use the same ditch of devilry to blast their unwashed liberal message to naive and ignorant folk.

      The easiest example to use is the anti-gay belief which Christwire.org seems to promote. If you read over their “gay agenda” posts there is prevalent usage of simplistic wording and beliefs like “homogay”, “tiddlydoos”, “Twiddle Anus Worshiper”, “[Gays rape] young boys” followed by an extreme corrective response like “drown the gays” or “fill them up with gun powder…and set a fire“.

      Every post follows this exact same pattern.

      So what is the problem with this and how are we able to tell these websites are a total fraud?

      Because there is NEVER any relevant or rational information that reasonably supports their position against homosexuality.

      IN FACT, there is a Mt. Everest sized depository of psychological, religious, and ethical information available showing conclusively that homosexuality is one behavior among many other deficient and wrong behaviors that wither in deference to practicing the traditional family values of a man and woman together in holy matrimony.

      Christwire.org is negatively portraying gays and homosexuals from a childish, hateful, and extreme perspective, a perspective that we all know is illogical and abhorrent. The technique they are using is called reverse psychology which for most people is an incredibly difficult methodology to unwind.

      Reverse psychology is a persuasion technique involving the false advocacy of a belief or behavior contrary to the belief or behavior which is actually being advocated.

      In other words, ChristWire.org through a simple psychological technique is attempting to convince you that homosexuality is right.”

      http://outragedrichard.com/home/fake-or-real-the-truth-behind-christwireorg-landoverbaptistorg-theonioncom-fake-satire-exposed-atheists-and-immoral-liberals-use-reverse-psychology-to-promote-gays-and-homosexual-agenda/

  33. Mather Schneider

      unfortunately that’s not ironic at all.

  34. Mather Schneider

      unfortunately that’s not ironic at all.

  35. Gian

      Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ahaha aha ha aha aha ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha,

      Foer can eat my month old shit stained underwear, while I am eating Lipsyte’s (if he wears any).

  36. Gian

      Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ahaha aha ha aha aha ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha,

      Foer can eat my month old shit stained underwear, while I am eating Lipsyte’s (if he wears any).

  37. Mather Schneider

      no matter how bad this book is it can’t be as annoying as that many ha has in a row…

  38. Mather Schneider

      no matter how bad this book is it can’t be as annoying as that many ha has in a row…

  39. Sean

      HTML Giant has once again made me not-write. Man, that website is funny. I love it.

  40. Sean

      HTML Giant has once again made me not-write. Man, that website is funny. I love it.

  41. Amber

      Every time I look at that scarfy-douche Foer photo, I laugh my ass off for like five minutes. Oh my awesome.

  42. Amber

      Every time I look at that scarfy-douche Foer photo, I laugh my ass off for like five minutes. Oh my awesome.

  43. Jac Jemc

      I was just gonna comment on the douche-y scarf photo.

      Except I was also gonna say he reminded me of that Martin Short movie, Clifford.

  44. Jac Jemc

      I was just gonna comment on the douche-y scarf photo.

      Except I was also gonna say he reminded me of that Martin Short movie, Clifford.

  45. james yeh

      and then rereading it again, it’s funny. took me a while

  46. james yeh

      and then rereading it again, it’s funny. took me a while

  47. mimi

      As soon as I started reading the “Sodomy Is Not the Answer” post I thought to myself “This has got to be a joke”. It positively oozed with gooey glee (and not for the joys of parenting). The funniest thing I’ve read in, like, well a whole day. “Better blatant than latent”.
      And “Stephenson Billings”? Fer reals? That name is hilarious.

  48. mimi

      As soon as I started reading the “Sodomy Is Not the Answer” post I thought to myself “This has got to be a joke”. It positively oozed with gooey glee (and not for the joys of parenting). The funniest thing I’ve read in, like, well a whole day. “Better blatant than latent”.
      And “Stephenson Billings”? Fer reals? That name is hilarious.

  49. Amber

      Is that that one where Martin Short is playing a small boy by scooting around on his knees and looking up at Charles Grodin? Because if so, then, YES.

      Also, how did that movie happen?

  50. Amber

      Is that that one where Martin Short is playing a small boy by scooting around on his knees and looking up at Charles Grodin? Because if so, then, YES.

      Also, how did that movie happen?

  51. Gaia

      since when is Michael Chabon cruel & negative?

  52. Gaia

      since when is Michael Chabon cruel & negative?

  53. Dude

      Seriously, is there an issue that Safran Foer hasn’t taken the moral high ground on? This little twerp is worthless….his prose is awful and full of sap…and then his wife and her horrible book, “The History of Love” (probably one of the lamest titles I can recall). I bet these two snot-nosed, privileged dipshits who’ve never left Manhattan danced to Kenny G at their wedding.

  54. Dude

      Seriously, is there an issue that Safran Foer hasn’t taken the moral high ground on? This little twerp is worthless….his prose is awful and full of sap…and then his wife and her horrible book, “The History of Love” (probably one of the lamest titles I can recall). I bet these two snot-nosed, privileged dipshits who’ve never left Manhattan danced to Kenny G at their wedding.

  55. Chris

      I can’t remember hating a book as much as I hated The History of Love.

  56. Chris

      I can’t remember hating a book as much as I hated The History of Love.