Dead Eye Dick Contest
*contest ends May 26 8PM (PST)
In the comment section, write your own version/introduction to Vonnegut’s famous drawing — though you must re-appropriate the drawing so that it’s not an asshole — like, it could be a diagram on how to cut a pizza, or a drawing of the big bang, etc. It should be roughly the same word count as the original portion above, and you do not need to mimic Vonnegut’s style.
I will choose the winner based on creativity of re-appropriation and actual writing. Your piece must end with a colon (get it? asshole/colon, hey Onion, call me…). Please no ‘blast entries,’ just one entry per person.
A 1st edition hardcover of Vonnegut’s Dead Eye Dick (1982) in perfect condition. (I actually found it in a box on the street, can you believe that?) The value ranges from $30 – $150, the latter price marked here. A signed one with a drawing goes for $1750. There’s one on eBay for 30 bucks, so don’t have a heart-attack.
Htmlgiant contributors are not eligible, sorry, but I can already hear the moaning if anyone of you wins, and I’m too sensitive for shit-storms.
Proof I have the book (note that my 70% bamboo robe’s color matches this website):