January 21st, 2010 / 12:57 pm
Contests
Jimmy Chen
Contests
“When Authors Get Off” Contest
Per Annalemma Editor/Publisher Chris Heavener’s comment in the “When Authors Get Hungry” winner post, HTMLGIANT and Annalemma are joining hands for a “When Authors Get Off” contest, to be judged by Chris, who will procure the generous prize—the current and all back issues of Annalemma (or, if you’ll allow me the spirit, Analenema).
In the same fashion as with our preceding contest, name some porn parody titles (Girl with Curious Pubic Hair; Go Down, On Me, Moses; Howard’s End, etc). A call for submissions will also follow this contest, for a collaborative piece named after the winning title, edited by Chris and published online at Annalemma. Details forthcoming here with announcement of the winner.
Tags: annalemma
Mysterious Foreskin
Mysterious Foreskin
The Burn of the Screw
The Burn of the Screw
slaughterhouse fuck
slaughterhouse fuck
White Teats
You Are a Little Bit Hornier Than I am
How We Are Horny
Jesus’ Cum
2669
69 Stories
Journey to the End of the Bed
What We Talk About When We Talk About Ass-fucking
The Box Man
a few bonus ones:
The Son Also Rises
Sex and Sexability
THE LAYING OF LOT 49
White Teats
You Are a Little Bit Hornier Than I am
How We Are Horny
Jesus’ Cum
2669
69 Stories
Journey to the End of the Bed
What We Talk About When We Talk About Ass-fucking
The Box Man
a few bonus ones:
The Son Also Rises
Sex and Sexability
THE LAYING OF LOT 49
Jesus’ Cum.
Okay. I quit.
Jesus’ Cum.
Okay. I quit.
Orgasmistan
Seize the Lay
The Battlefield Where the Moon Says I’m Cumming
Orgasmistan
Seize the Lay
The Battlefield Where the Moon Says I’m Cumming
Infinite Jism
Infinite Jism
Woman in the Dude
Ab Salon, Ab Salon
Woman in the Dude
Ab Salon, Ab Salon
also Night Wood
heh
also Night Wood
heh
Eleven Kinds of Horniness
House of Beavers
Revenge of the Porn
An Unfortunate Naked Woman
Poon Deluxe
Eleven Kinds of Horniness
House of Beavers
Revenge of the Porn
An Unfortunate Naked Woman
Poon Deluxe
lol that’s awesome
lol that’s awesome
CAR CRASH WHILE HITCHHUMPING
A salesman who shared as he licked her and steered while sleeping…A Cherokee filled with sexual lubricants…A VW no more than a bubble of sex fog, captained by a college student…
And a family from Marshaltown who headonned and killed forever a man driving west out of Bethany, Missouri…
…My erection rose sopping wet from [OK, you get it, i’ll stop]
CAR CRASH WHILE HITCHHUMPING
A salesman who shared as he licked her and steered while sleeping…A Cherokee filled with sexual lubricants…A VW no more than a bubble of sex fog, captained by a college student…
And a family from Marshaltown who headonned and killed forever a man driving west out of Bethany, Missouri…
…My erection rose sopping wet from [OK, you get it, i’ll stop]
no one belongs here inside me more than you
letters from my nuts
bright lights, big titty
Portrait of the Artist as a Hung Man
Ulyssex
Finnegan’s Wank
no one belongs here inside me more than you
letters from my nuts
bright lights, big titty
Portrait of the Artist as a Hung Man
Ulyssex
Finnegan’s Wank
Midnight Dicklick
Probe-y Dick
Midnight Dicklick
Probe-y Dick
Tight Boxes
Atlas Plugged
The Naked and the Spread
The Cumming Man
The Catcher is a Guy
My Spud Also Rises
Long Jim
Tight Boxes
Atlas Plugged
The Naked and the Spread
The Cumming Man
The Catcher is a Guy
My Spud Also Rises
Long Jim
“my spud,” nice
thanks jimmy
“my spud,” nice
thanks jimmy
The Power and the Glory-hole
“Portrait – nice one.
The Power and the Glory-hole
“Portrait – nice one.
ha. so gross
Grundel
ha. so gross
Grundel
The Heart is a Horny Hunter
Brave Nude Girl
Go SpillI it on Her Mountains
A Cockwork Orange
Great Sexpectations
Remembrance of Bing’s Ass
Abonement
The Heart is a Horny Hunter
Brave Nude Girl
Go SpillI it on Her Mountains
A Cockwork Orange
Great Sexpectations
Remembrance of Bing’s Ass
Abonement
Holy shit. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
Holy shit. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
“A Hard Man is Good to Find”
“A Hard Man is Good to Find”
oh my god
oh my god
Sizing Up, Going Down
Sizing Up, Going Down
The Rainbow-Kiss Stories
The Rainbow-Kiss Stories
Tree of Smut
MoBig Dick
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
No Cuntry for Old Men
Tree of Smut
MoBig Dick
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
No Cuntry for Old Men
The Humid Stain
his eye was watching todd
inside her volcano
naked punch
The Humid Stain
his eye was watching todd
inside her volcano
naked punch
heh, i remember this poster my older sister had up in her dormroom that said that. the phrase haunted me. what is a “hard man?” it took me years to figure out what it meant
yes!
heh, i remember this poster my older sister had up in her dormroom that said that. the phrase haunted me. what is a “hard man?” it took me years to figure out what it meant
yes!
taking from above: “the heart is a horny cunter”
taking from above: “the heart is a horny cunter”
man, that’s nasty
man, that’s nasty
James, “The Heart is a Horny Hunter” is one of the funniest ones, and here you go butting in and taking it to a level that is just not funny. Just because Jimmy complimented you, you don’t have to spaz out.
that was actually a Sports Illustrated ad years ago with a flexing Ken Norton (sr.).
James, “The Heart is a Horny Hunter” is one of the funniest ones, and here you go butting in and taking it to a level that is just not funny. Just because Jimmy complimented you, you don’t have to spaz out.
that was actually a Sports Illustrated ad years ago with a flexing Ken Norton (sr.).
[…] for a contest. Taking yesterday’s When Author’s Get Hungry contest, we decided to throw When Author’s Get Off. Go over to the Giant and turn your favorite book title into something ribald, titillating or […]
The Portrait of a Ladyboy
Screwtopia
The Magic Mountin’
The Portrait of a Ladyboy
Screwtopia
The Magic Mountin’
The Rapes of Gash
The Rapes of Gash
Stories of Your Worst Lay
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
Stories of Your Worst Lay
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Hershey Highway
Samuel Johnson is in Dignan
great ejaculations
Gored Jim
Twat, Malloy
Ass Passage to India
Brighton Cock
Maidenhead Revisited
Fuckleberry Finn
Volpoon
A Farewell to Arse
Invisible Cans
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Hershey Highway
Samuel Johnson is in Dignan
great ejaculations
Gored Jim
Twat, Malloy
Ass Passage to India
Brighton Cock
Maidenhead Revisited
Fuckleberry Finn
Volpoon
A Farewell to Arse
Invisible Cans
lol
lol
The Hunt For Red Wings
The Milkman Always Comes Twice
Go Tell It On Your Knees
The Hunt For Red Wings
The Milkman Always Comes Twice
Go Tell It On Your Knees
All The Pretty Filthy Whores
All The Pretty Filthy Whores
Notable American Orgies
Notable American Orgies
Twats Heating Gilbert’s Grapes
you bright and jism angels
scorched asses
licked boxes
catcher with his guy
from whom the belle blows
in cold slut
a heartbreaking work of slobbering penis
extremely loud and incredible hoes
Twats Heating Gilbert’s Grapes
you bright and jism angels
scorched asses
licked boxes
catcher with his guy
from whom the belle blows
in cold slut
a heartbreaking work of slobbering penis
extremely loud and incredible hoes
i think it was actually a different one, some dude taking off his shirt. also i feel like he was caucasian
for whom the belle blows*
i think it was actually a different one, some dude taking off his shirt. also i feel like he was caucasian
for whom the belle blows*
excuse me?
notice my entry:
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
excuse me?
notice my entry:
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
Tuesdays With Glory Hole
The Joy Fuck Club
MLKNG DCKS
Will You Be Quiet and Eat Me, Please?
U and My Clit: A True Story
A Light In the Basement (A Gacy Bio For All)
The Old Man and the C
Tuesdays With Glory Hole
The Joy Fuck Club
MLKNG DCKS
Will You Be Quiet and Eat Me, Please?
U and My Clit: A True Story
A Light In the Basement (A Gacy Bio For All)
The Old Man and the C
A Good Scent from a Strange Mounting
O-face Pioneers!
Cry, the Beloved Cuntry
Something Wicked this Way Cums
Nineteen Sixty-nine
The Fountain Head
Death Comes on the Archbishop
A Good Scent from a Strange Mounting
O-face Pioneers!
Cry, the Beloved Cuntry
Something Wicked this Way Cums
Nineteen Sixty-nine
The Fountain Head
Death Comes on the Archbishop
MLKNG DCKS is funny
The Gapes of Wrath
Dong of Solomon
In Cold Semen
Angela Flashes
A Raisin in the Cunt
No Other Boob
Madame Bovulvary
Invisible Titties
MLKNG DCKS is funny
The Gapes of Wrath
Dong of Solomon
In Cold Semen
Angela Flashes
A Raisin in the Cunt
No Other Boob
Madame Bovulvary
Invisible Titties
O-face pioneers! classic
O-face pioneers! classic
Aw, man! You beat me.
Aw, man! You beat me.
i hadn’t seen your s when i posted mine, james.
indeed, probably a different one.
weird, there were two, or maybe not.
my highschool english professor had this ad on her bulletin board
i hadn’t seen your s when i posted mine, james.
indeed, probably a different one.
weird, there were two, or maybe not.
my highschool english professor had this ad on her bulletin board
thanks blake
thanks blake
seems “inappropriate,” kind of cool
The Son Also Rises
The Unbearable Lightness of Blowing
A Tale of Twin’s Clitties
Catcher in the Eye
Eatin’ Jerome
seems “inappropriate,” kind of cool
The Son Also Rises
The Unbearable Lightness of Blowing
A Tale of Twin’s Clitties
Catcher in the Eye
Eatin’ Jerome
The Wet Dreamsongs
The Wet Dreamsongs
The Sun Also Rises
The Old Man and the “C”
Little Whorehouse on the Prairie
The Queerhunter
The Sun Also Rises
The Old Man and the “C”
Little Whorehouse on the Prairie
The Queerhunter
Babyfucker-fucker
My Ass Laid Bare
The Pork
The Anal-beads of Wire and String
Mysteries of Small Penises
Mount Analdong
The Driver’s Meat
My Loose Asshole
Dicksville
In Youth is Pleasure
Babyfucker-fucker
My Ass Laid Bare
The Pork
The Anal-beads of Wire and String
Mysteries of Small Penises
Mount Analdong
The Driver’s Meat
My Loose Asshole
Dicksville
In Youth is Pleasure
amazing.
amazing.
The Ass Bead Game
the sun also rises is pretty fantastic
The Ass Bead Game
the sun also rises is pretty fantastic
Anal Farm.
Anal Farm.
The Grapes of Ass
The Winter of our Fist Content
Cunt’s Cradle
Oliver Fist
A Tail and Two Titties
Darkness at Poon
Native Buns
A Handful Of Bust
The Naked and Some Head
Naked Munch
One Spoo Over the Cuckoo’s Chest
Wide Sargasso Semen
On the Choad
King Leer
Moby Dick
The Grapes of Ass
The Winter of our Fist Content
Cunt’s Cradle
Oliver Fist
A Tail and Two Titties
Darkness at Poon
Native Buns
A Handful Of Bust
The Naked and Some Head
Naked Munch
One Spoo Over the Cuckoo’s Chest
Wide Sargasso Semen
On the Choad
King Leer
Moby Dick
The Floating Ass-to-Ass Orgy
Sixty Sluts / Forty Sluts
The Mysterious Secret of the Valuable Orgasm
Horny Baby
The Glass Bead Cock-ring
The Floating Ass-to-Ass Orgy
Sixty Sluts / Forty Sluts
The Mysterious Secret of the Valuable Orgasm
Horny Baby
The Glass Bead Cock-ring
Heada Gobler
The Imperative Mood
Spankenstein
Our Mutual Friend
Heada Gobler
The Imperative Mood
Spankenstein
Our Mutual Friend
actually:
The Floating Orgy and The End of the Rod
(the floating ass-to-ass orgy is out of print)
actually:
The Floating Orgy and The End of the Rod
(the floating ass-to-ass orgy is out of print)
Infinite Jizz
Infinite Jizz
Spankenstein. excellent, sir.
Spankenstein. excellent, sir.
Finnegan’s Wank made me laugh.
Invisible Titties
A Long Lay’s Journey into Night
Finnegan’s Wank made me laugh.
Invisible Titties
A Long Lay’s Journey into Night
A Tale of Two Cities
Their Thighs Were Straddling Rob
A Tale of Two Cities
Their Thighs Were Straddling Rob
totally
totally
The Cummunist Menifesto
The Pound in the Furry
Ball the King’s Men
The Cummunist Menifesto
The Pound in the Furry
Ball the King’s Men
The Pound and the Furry
The Pound and the Furry
20,000 Leagues Under The Pharynx
i know why the caged bird sings
20,000 Leagues Under The Pharynx
i know why the caged bird sings
Oops – “Cities” should be “Titties”
Naturally
The Cock Doctrine
Anal Karenina
Oops – “Cities” should be “Titties”
Naturally
The Cock Doctrine
Anal Karenina
War and Piss
War and Piss
The Chaser in The Rye
The Chaser in The Rye
All The Sad Young Goatse Boys
All The Sad Young Goatse Boys
A Fag’s Notes
A Fag’s Notes
Oh I see what u did there…
Oh I see what u did there…
All Bellow…
Dangling Men
Humboldt’s Throbbing Gift
Henderson The Rim King
Him With His Cock In His Mouth
All Bellow…
Dangling Men
Humboldt’s Throbbing Gift
Henderson The Rim King
Him With His Cock In His Mouth
Harry Pooper and the Order of the Penis
Harry Pooper and the Order of the Penis
You got your eyes open chris
You got your eyes open chris
The Adventures of Soggy Tarts
The Adventures of Soggy Tarts
The Old Man and the Semen
The Old Man and the Semen
The Royal Family
Lolita
The Royal Family
Lolita
Kamby Bolongo Mean Ass-Rape White Bitches
Kamby Bolongo Mean Ass-Rape White Bitches
For Whom The HUGE BLACK COCKS, LACTATING COCKS AND SCAT
For Whom The HUGE BLACK COCKS, LACTATING COCKS AND SCAT
Gone WIth The CHUBS AND BEARS AND SILVERDADDIES
Gone WIth The CHUBS AND BEARS AND SILVERDADDIES
The Bear (too easy)
The Bear (too easy)
198Fornication
198Fornication
Me neither!
Me neither!
The Cumshot Chronicle
The Skin Drum
The History of the Kelly Gangbang
To the Whorehouse
WhereI’m Cumming From
Ironween
The Cumshot Chronicle
The Skin Drum
The History of the Kelly Gangbang
To the Whorehouse
WhereI’m Cumming From
Ironween
Three cups of cum: One man’s mission to promote peace
Three cups of cum: One man’s mission to promote peace
Pale Ho, Pale Rider
The Kite Fucker
Pale Ho, Pale Rider
The Kite Fucker
Infinite Breast
Infinite Breast
Whore and Feces
Whore and Feces
Jaws
Jaws
A Tale of Two Titties
All Over Tits
The Merchant of Penis
The Great Pussy
The Davinci Chode
A Tale of Two Titties
All Over Tits
The Merchant of Penis
The Great Pussy
The Davinci Chode
The Handjob Maid’s Tail
A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream
Reading Hustler in Tehran
The Taint of Pooh
Leak, Mammory
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie
The Handjob Maid’s Tail
A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream
Reading Hustler in Tehran
The Taint of Pooh
Leak, Mammory
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie
the diarrhea of anne frank
the diarrhea of anne frank
The Lovesong of Gray Athletic Cum Sock
The Lovesong of Gray Athletic Cum Sock
Portnoy’s Cum Plaint!
The Load
Portnoy’s Cum Plaint!
The Load
Romeo Ate Julie Out
The Lovely Boners
Romeo Ate Julie Out
The Lovely Boners
ooooo ooo ooo
The Ballsacks
No Cuntry for Old Men
ooooo ooo ooo
The Ballsacks
No Cuntry for Old Men
shit missed an o
shit missed an o
Tender is the Knob
Tender is the Knob
Rear end Boning in Las Vegas
Rear end Boning in Las Vegas
The Pearl Necklace
The Man with the Golden Schlong
Lost Whore-izons
Snatch-22
Catch Her in Her Eye
The Dick of the Magi
Come Silent, Come Deep
Slutterfield 8
American Past Oral
I Married a Sadist
The Beautiful and Rammed
The Lovely Boner
The How Do I Taste Land
The Pearl Necklace
The Man with the Golden Schlong
Lost Whore-izons
Snatch-22
Catch Her in Her Eye
The Dick of the Magi
Come Silent, Come Deep
Slutterfield 8
American Past Oral
I Married a Sadist
The Beautiful and Rammed
The Lovely Boner
The How Do I Taste Land
Wad-shot Scandal
Gravity’s Rainblow
The Belle’s Jar
His Slide into Paradise
Wad-shot Scandal
Gravity’s Rainblow
The Belle’s Jar
His Slide into Paradise
the catcher is a guy made me laugh
the catcher is a guy made me laugh
1984 = nineteen-tranny-whores
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’s Dick?
1984 = nineteen-tranny-whores
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’s Dick?
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Anal
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Anal
Brief Intercourse With Hideous Men
A Supposedly Fun Guy I’ll Never Do Again
Brief Intercourse With Hideous Men
A Supposedly Fun Guy I’ll Never Do Again
Lord of the Cock Rings
Lord of the Cock Rings
New Poon: The Tootight Saga
New Poon: The Tootight Saga
Top-lifting in American Apparrel
Top-lifting in American Apparrel
The Bonfire of the Panties
Letch-22
Naked Felch
Lord of the Thighs
Sometimes a Great Motion
Animal Harm
The Red Vag of Courage
The Rape Gatsby
Brave New Whore
The Bonfire of the Panties
Letch-22
Naked Felch
Lord of the Thighs
Sometimes a Great Motion
Animal Harm
The Red Vag of Courage
The Rape Gatsby
Brave New Whore
[…] Not sure if anyone has seen this or not, but HTMLGIANT is currently running a contest through their site called “When Authors Get Off.” […]
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Ass
Double Dildo Indemnity
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Ass
Double Dildo Indemnity
The Adult Moviegoer
Barely Legal Sophie’s Choice
The Adult Moviegoer
Barely Legal Sophie’s Choice
At Play in the Fields of the Douchebags
At Play in the Fields of the Douchebags
Black Cock Moan
Enter the Dick
The Drunken Masturbator
The Chinese Erection
Black Cock Moan
Enter the Dick
The Drunken Masturbator
The Chinese Erection
LOL-eater
Minima Oralia (Past Oralia?)
The Thing He Carried
Invitation to a Good Head
LOL-eater
Minima Oralia (Past Oralia?)
The Thing He Carried
Invitation to a Good Head
Uh, identical syllables, absurdity, hilarity, and – ashamedly – a scent. Fuck, this is raucous.
Uh, identical syllables, absurdity, hilarity, and – ashamedly – a scent. Fuck, this is raucous.
[…] the raging success of “When Authors Get Hungry” HTML Giant’s Jimmy Chen launched “When Authors Get Off”. Readers’ response was impressive as usual, here’s my very […]
“A Tinkle in Mine”
“A Tinkle in Mine”
“Little Mouse on the Hairy”
“Little Mouse on the Hairy”
oh my god, I can’t believe this is one.
oh my god, I can’t believe this is one.
“Cold Yeller”
“Where the Dick Walk Bends”
“The Lion, the Bitch, and the Whore’s Robe”
“Bald’in; or, Strife with Woodies”
“Cavity’s PainHo”
“Cold Yeller”
“Where the Dick Walk Bends”
“The Lion, the Bitch, and the Whore’s Robe”
“Bald’in; or, Strife with Woodies”
“Cavity’s PainHo”
Self-Pleasure in a Convex Mirror
Cleaves of Ass
Rumpelforeskin
A Wind in the Pillows
Load on a Grecian Urn
The Joy Luck Club
Self-Pleasure in a Convex Mirror
Cleaves of Ass
Rumpelforeskin
A Wind in the Pillows
Load on a Grecian Urn
The Joy Luck Club
Fistin’ Lavransdatter
Fistin’ Lavransdatter
A Dirty Well Lubed Place
A Dick Cums Through It
Blood Meridian: Or A Monthly Redness in Her Cleft
Lust in the Time of Chlamydia
Cum Falling on Hooters
Lone Ranger and Tonto Bareback in Heaven
Atlas Buggered
The House of Girth
Adventures in Cuckold Fun
All Wet on the Southern Front
A Whores Garden of Perverse
A Dirty Well Lubed Place
A Dick Cums Through It
Blood Meridian: Or A Monthly Redness in Her Cleft
Lust in the Time of Chlamydia
Cum Falling on Hooters
Lone Ranger and Tonto Bareback in Heaven
Atlas Buggered
The House of Girth
Adventures in Cuckold Fun
All Wet on the Southern Front
A Whores Garden of Perverse
Little Hoes on the Prairie
The Chocolate Whore
Beyond the Chocolate Whore
My Brother Sam Gives Head
A Ho Ain’t Nothing but a Sandwich
Willy Wanker and the Cocklick Factory
Pounder
I Am the Tease
Where the Red Fur Grows
The Gay
Go Ask Anus
Little Hoes on the Prairie
The Chocolate Whore
Beyond the Chocolate Whore
My Brother Sam Gives Head
A Ho Ain’t Nothing but a Sandwich
Willy Wanker and the Cocklick Factory
Pounder
I Am the Tease
Where the Red Fur Grows
The Gay
Go Ask Anus
Spit, Melanie
Men Without Semen
The Guy of the Ancient Mariner
Fore Skin, White Masks
The Quaalude (dedicated to Roman Polanski)
Spit, Melanie
Men Without Semen
The Guy of the Ancient Mariner
Fore Skin, White Masks
The Quaalude (dedicated to Roman Polanski)
[…] over to HTMLGIANT where the results for the “When Writers Get Off” contest have been announced. Congrats to Chris Killen for having the most depraved brain. […]
[…] Chris Killen is the winner of HTMLGIANT & Annalemma’s “When Writers Get Off” contest. Congratulations Chris. Some notes from judge Chris Heavener of Annalemma: First of […]
One Hundred Years of a Solid Dude
The Hymen Comedy
By the River Piedra I Went Down and Wept
One Hundred Years of a Solid Dude
The Hymen Comedy
By the River Piedra I Went Down and Wept