April 5th, 2012 / 10:54 pm

I’m Gonna Liveblog ‘Rear Window’ Right Here

Hi folks. I’ve never seen Rear Window. I’ve seen Psycho (fell asleep for less than five minutes and I liked it. I’ve also seen an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents about Christmas and a toy plane I think. I’m getting a phone call

The credits ended. I like the way this looks. James Stewart sweating. People on a balcony. I had to pause the movie because too much was going on with the phone call. Seeing a bra-clad woman right now do stuff with her legs. The phone call was my girlfriend. She is coming by to get her wallet. James Stewart is sweating. Broken leg reveal. I saw the trailer for this movie a few days ago before I downloaded it. The way this movie is filmed is very impressive… is it supposed to be one long take? Nevermind.

I took a double shot of whiskey before I started this. There’s a helicopter. This seems very cool. He’s got a week left in the cast. I bought a Rolling Rock tallboy and a big bag of Munchies. My girlfriend is here, but she’s leaving soon, don’t worry. “The place is about to go up in smoke.” She’s gone.

Poured the beer into the jar I drank the whiskey out of. Gives it a full flavor. lots of women with their midriffs showing. Was that innovative? Opened up the chips. Chewing a lot of them right now. I am so very tired.

Walking home tonight I heard some people speaking a very weird language. It sounded like a mix between Arabic, French patois, and Australian English. There was a full moon or an almost full moon.

James Stewart is kind of old in this movie. His body has really gone to the cleaners. I don’t know what his body looked like previously. “Maladjusted misfits.” “Marry her.” I feel a little drunk. Didn’t have much to eat today. But that’s not true. I had more to eat than usual today. I guess that’s just something about life, huh. I ate a raisin bagel around 1:30. I ate a chorizo taco around 6:00. I ate a salad of kale, granny-smith apple, and red pepper with a homemade dressing of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, honey, and salt around 9:00. Still hungry though. These chips are awesome. They are Cheetos, Doritos, Sun Chips, and Rold Gold Classic Tiny Twists Pretzels.

Lisa Carol Freemont just entered the building. That whiskey flavor is a kick at the end of the swig of beer. I forgot to say something about the newlyweds. How beautiful they are in love. I am made to believe something thrilling will happen with all the people he watches. The bikini-clad woman. The bra-clad woman. The pink bra. The laundry. The laundry. The champagne. I did laundry today. I read Arcade by Gordon Lish while I did laundry. Oh boy, who am I? Who am I? Are any of you going to Tyrant Books and Gordon Lish invite you to celebrate the launch of ‘Life Is with People’ by Atticus Lish Saturday night at KGB Bar?

Why is James Stewart’s girlfriend in this so hot? She’s like 20 years younger than him, but they act like they’re the same age. Seems very indicative of a period piece. Does that make sense? Did I just embarrass myself? It’s not a period piece if, like, it was current when it was released, am I right? Am I wrong? Just remembered how my friends from high school always wanted to go to a hookah bar in Worcester once we turned 18. I never went; it seemed stupid, but now I wonder… Would it have done me good?

Woman setting up dinner. Pouring wine. Wiiiiinnneeee. She’s having dinner alone, but acting like she’s having it with a lover across the table. That’s indicative of her loneliness. Oh wow! He calls her “Miss Lonely Heart.” Me and James Stewart are very much on the same wavelength here. “Miss Torso” regarding another hot woman. Damn… seems sexist. Truly a commentary on the time period. I want to say it’s the… Sixties? I must be right… It’s in color anyway. Thank god.

Googled it. It’s the Fifties. 1954. Believe it or not. It’s filmed in such an interesting way. Seems so so innovative probably at the time. Wes Anderson must’ve been inspired by this. So many hot women in this movie, what’s the deal? A lot of hot women on this block in the Fifties; seems suspect. What I wonder is, like, was it even released in the Fifties? Nobody really would remember if they couldn’t look it up  for sure. Time… This artist told me all time is constructed. I disagree with her, though, right now it seems like I’m contradicting myself. Couples arguing seems beautiful. Woah, James Stewart tells her to “shut up” twice. That’s nuts. That only happens when people are very heated to their significant others these days… This sure isn’t current, I’ll tell you that much!

James Stewart broke up with his girlfriend because of his ego it seems. Seems like an artist. The novelization of this movie is like… it could be by Don DeLillo. It would be cool if all the dialogue was altered into a Don DeLillo or Tao Lin style, but all the plot remains the same. That seems like the ideal way to take in Rear Window. I’m kidding; it’s very visually stimulating.

The rain in this movie is very obviously studio/stage rain. I like it. Wonder why I never saw this movie… I think I always equated it with that Johnny Depp movie [Something] Window.

Somebody coming in and out of the alley, doing things. I’m not following very well. So hungry still, eating a lot. What city is this supposed to be, NYC? I’m not just kidding… it could be, couldn’t it? “She’ll wind up a fat alcoholic.”

James Stewart is paranoid that the salesman is paranoid. I just remembered the Johnny Depp movie is called Secret Window. Easy to mistake I tell you what. Taking pictures taking pictures investigative reporting. I wasn’t gonna say it, but I’m gonna say it—the salesman looks a little Jewish. He is supposed to be the bad guy right now, so I’m just thinking, is this a little anti-Semitic? Can I just say that? Can I think that okay?

James Stewart’s name in this movie is Jeff. I will continue to refer to him as James Stewart. “No comment” [uttered in a silly voice]. The movie Disturbia starring Shia Labeouf was the same concept as this, right? Did they like address that in the credits or what?

Over 1000 calories in this bag of chips. They’re almost gone… Should I be ashamed? I don’t feel any heavier. Just more tired. I have plenty of beer left. Oh so tired.

Just spilled beer all over the floor. Had to pause the movie to clean up. By the way, James Stewart and his girlfriend and nurse suspect a murder. Whatever that means. “Long distance.”

“How’s your wife!” A statement. Not a question. Jesus Christ my life is like molasses. I reread some of Leaving the Atocha Station tonight. I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say it. One of my favorite books of the past ten years. Maybe the best. Goddamn, Ben Lerner. I feel like… good things toward that man. I feel like… “He drinks but not to drunkenness.”

How is this movie more than half over? Nothing’s happened… The magic of filmmaking! If this is New York, what the fuck? Nice apartments… Seems like it’s Chicago or something.

Had to pause the movie again. The salesman is calling long distance again. Can’t really tell how James Stewart is able to determine that… must be something about older phones or how they’re dialed or what. When I got up it was because my chips were done, and my hands were all greasy and crumb-covered. I peed too. Beer and whiskey and water, oh you know. “Oh Hello.”

“I’ll make us some coffee.” — “Some brandy too!”

There’s always a party going on at Miss Torso’s (?) place? I like the soundtrack of this movie… because it’s not a soundtrack in the traditional sense—more it’s supposed to be the music actually going on in the scenes, in the apartments across from the rear window. They’re all spinning their brandy around! Beautiful! “You ever own a saw?”

More sexist doubt… Goddamn I’m not even the kind to say shit is sexist, you know? I’m gonna play some Tetris. Jesus! He tried to take a glass of brandy as a shot… he spilled it all over his suit, what the fuck. Never mind the party wasn’t as Miss Torso’s; it was at the apartment above hers I think. Miss Lonely Heart is on a date it seems. The guy is like… very young… she is a spinster, heh. Oh, she slapped him and made him leave… Not the one for here. Love is a difficult subject, I’ll say.

“I wonder if it’s ethical to watch a man with binoculars and a long angle lens.”

James Stewart was about to get laid dammit. Then the dog gets strangled to death. Who… strangles… a dog…? Seems intense. It’s like… it’s a dog; it’s just a dog. And he was about to get laid.

James Stewart thinks he’s solved the mystery of the murdered dog. He thinks the dog was killed because he dug up in the salesman’s garden. Now the garden is at a lower elevation than before… It’s because, it’s because the dog would’ve dug up the body buried there! The body was buried, creating the lower elevation! Very good zoom. I hate filmmaking by the way. I’m in a filmmaking. The process isn’t worth the product in this man’s opinion, that’s what I say. Too much work, too much cut for and by producers. It’s a commercial industry is what this guy says. It’s me, it’s me. I say so. Forget it. All film can go to the trash as far as this critic’s concerned. I’m enjoying this movie, though, I’ll agree, not a bad movie considering the implications of, you know, filmmaking.

I don’t understand what alcohol is. They say it like poisons you. The euphoria is the result of a weak poisoning. The numbing, the weightlessness, the giddiness and whatever. Unbelievable. How does it work? I’ve learned before, but I’d be interested to know again. I mean, I’m not sure I did even know before. In layman’s terms, can someone explain why alcohol makes me feel the way it does? And how it can kill you, Jesus, why would they let it be that way. Oh, people saying that good things must have consequences. Oh, come on now. Oh, it was the musician’s apartment that had the party it seems the previous night it seems.

Not sure I understand what Miss Lonely Hearts has to do with this crime theory. Not sure what’s going on. Something happened in everyone’s head that was not manifest as directly into my own consciousness… Kind of like… Psycho actually! Will they explain it like they do in Psycho at the end? Jesus does he kill her? Never mind, the cops come. Cops are good guys in this movie, sort of… Two cups of tea… one for you and one for me… Two dead police… whatever that band.

“Smart girl, she’ll get herself arrested.” “Look, the wedding ring!”

Had to pause the movie one last time. I want to go to sleep right as it ends, and I didn’t want to have to do the shit I just did after the movie is over. What I did was take a psyllium fiber supplement, drink water, floss, brush my teeth, wash my face, take a zinc tablet. Oh shit, some shit is going down. The crime is solved, but the suspense is at its highest! I’m tired. Here’s some news: my girlfriend’s gonna have to be buzzed in in a few hours, after I’ll’ve been sleeping; that sounds like no fun! Oh damn—the salesman coming after James Stewart! Only minutes left… Only


In the apartment

A confrontation the salesman

I’m so tired I’m so full I ate all those chips the beer the Rolling Rock beer

The flashbulbs the discomfort the discomfort the eyes glaucoma maybe in the eyes the eyes hurt the leg broken the cops the cops the cops are good guys

A struggle Miss Lonely Hearts How Many Hearts Why Why Multiple Why

James Stewart falls out the window. Was there a gun… shot? He rebreaks his leg, does he? Goddamn. “In a hatbox over at his apartment.” The musician and Miss Lonely Hearts is it? The windows. The dog. The beautiful women. Oh the solider returns to Miss Torso. What the fuck, the solider would rather eat first than have sex with Miss Torso? Oh, so the newlyweds are happy? Oh, so James Stewart broke both his legs? Oh, so his girlfriend moves in with him, oh, so she reads Beyond the High Himalayas, whatever that is. Oh, so she reads Bazaar, whatever that is. “A Paramount Release.” Credits roll. I liked it. I didn’t fall asleep. Wow wow. All right.

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  1. Je_Me_Moi

      Glad you liked it. 

  2. Vomithelmet McGee

      Do you really want to know about alcohol? The way any drug works is it messes with all the amazing and complicated goings on in your cells, increases the effects of this and that or inhibits the effects of this and that by binding to receptors. I don’t know if you know how receptors work but they basically sit on your cell waiting for the particular messenger (probably sent from elsewhere in yr body or your dinner or lungs i guess) to tell them to start a pathway of activity in your cell. You know pathways in the nerve cells have their role in how you feel so drugs get to make you feel a certain way even if your body deems it inappropriate. It can also make your cells do or stop doing other things, like stopping fine motor skillz with a z. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yeah obviously that can make you die too.

      Love this movie, when the salesman looks at me I start squealing.

  3. Stephen Michael McDowell

      saw this movie in film school, like, on the big screen, seemed ‘notable’

      was thinking about ‘disturbia’ and commenting things about ‘disturbia’ a few paragraphs before reading you draw that comparison

      the opening credits in disturbia should say ‘based on hitchcock’s rear window’ if they don’t already

      enjoying that people have been liveblogging movies recently, seems like a new fad, but, like, an enjoyable one

      i like your opinions about movies and this movie specifically

      good job

  4. David Fishkind

      thank you! that was in layman’s terms! that is essentially what i learned in high school i think!

  5. Frank Lloyd Wong

      mr. fishkind if you don’t mind i’m gonna livecomment on this rear window timelapse video right here: http://vimeo.com/37120554

      cool courtyard. 

  6. Vomithelmet McGee

       No worriesssssss, I enjoyed your liveblog so

  7. Anonymous

      wow David Fishkind you should read Ariana Reines’ poem about seeing the Watchmen in the theater, perhaps it would inspiiiiiiiiiire you