Random
Why would anyone want to write, read, or listen to someone read out loud a “piece of fiction,” let alone a fucking poem?
Why would anyone want to write, read, or listen to someone read out loud a “piece of fiction,” let alone a fucking poem?
Personally, I have never written any fiction, and I don’t plan on starting any time soon.
Some habits are naturally addictive, like smoking cigarettes or eating large bags of Kettle chips, and other habits are only willfully, stubbornly repeated–one of these is sitting down and trying to write “interesting” sentences to create “literary art.”
I have never written any interesting sentences. What’s more, I have never been, myself, interesting, nor can I imagine an interesting person. There are no interesting people, and, if pressed to try really hard to find just something interesting about myself–my diverse education at both mixed-race public schools and white-ass private schools; my philo-psycho profile: a learned detachment from formative years of Camus, Suzuki, and hanging around other introspective nobs mixed with a kind of corny, deep-rooted optimism fostered by childhood Sundays spent at a gospel church, aggressively earnest parents, and the more sentimental of the Beatles songs on which I grew up–I can’t do it, because there’s nothing interesting about me. And I mean not to be negative, but rather, calmly accepting.
To the person who says, “Don’t write about yourself, make stuff up, it’s the aesthetic beauty of the sentences is what we want.” To that person I’d say, I have no talent, and even of the people who have talent, allegedly, one in ten writes something I enjoy reading, and it is a strange mystery what makes me love their work–it’s not just who they are or how they place the words–why is Beckett so gut-beautiful, why do I finish Franny and Zooey and need to call a friend?
But if, during this speaking, I effectively utilize a sentence structure of multiple clauses moving rhythmically one to the next, compound modifiers studded throughout to increase that pleasure of specificity, and if I maintain a sarcastic, irreverent tone, crack a few unexpected jokes, belying the relative formality and linguistic fluidity of the writing style, I will succeed in making a few educated people chuckle.
I am actually very happy today, I am excited to report. I may have misled you. To someone asking me, “What’s the matter,” I would say, “There is nothing at all the matter.”
Today I woke up dehydrated and hungover in fine spirits and drank water from a mason jar. I made coffee, drank it, and ate a crust of bread and some blueberries. What else.
Every poem I have ever read is a very good poem. I forgot to mention that. Strangely, there is no reason to ever write a poem, and I don’t know why anyone does it, but they do, and, as it is, each poem is wonderful.
pretty good. fourth paragraph’s a bitch, though. coulda done without that long sentence in the middle.
This is still great Stephen.
Really enjoying all your posts here
i am going to write a poem titled ‘i have never wrote a poem in my life’
HEY STEPHEN AESTHETIC BEAUTY IS NICE BUT ALSO POINTLESS ZZZZIPP THINKS YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT NEEDING LITERATURE TO BE SOCIAL OR MORAL
AESTHETICS ALONE ARE BANKRUPT AND FRANKLY BORING
(GOOD LITERATURE WILL NOT BE TASTELESS HOWEVER)
THERE IS THAT FEELING OF WANTING TO CALL A FRIEND IN FINISHING “FANNY AND ZOOEY” YES ZZZIPP AGREES SALINGER SEEMS LIKE A VERY MORAL PERSON MAYBE HE STOPPED WRITING BECAUSE HE WAS THINKING THE SAME THINGS YOU EXPRESS IN THIS POST
ANYWAY THAT’S WHAT ZZZIPP TRIES TO THINK ABOUT THESE DAYS WHEN HE’S NOT BEING A PHOTON OR HIDING UNDERNEATH A SHINGLE
‘crust of bread’
Yes. Chuckled. Though I must protest against the product placement (“Suzuki”, “Kettle”). Otherwise a powerful piece of meta critique.
thanks bro
that’s good =) you have a lot of good poem titles
yes yes
it’s nice to see a comment by you ZZZZZIPPP
hi Marcus. thanks. i like specificity and details sometimes
hi Melissa =)
I wish I wrote interesting sentences. Alas I am but a mere sloth.
Being able to make this joke of saying π is
3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999 and so on
thus insinuating π is rational, seems like the best thing I have learnt in relation to this article. Thanks STD!
right?!
this is a fresh new approach to not writing things. thank you
salinger did not stop writing, he stopped publishing
REALLY REYNARD ZZZZIPP DID NOT KNOW THAT GOING TO GOOGLE IT NOW ASSUMED HE CONTINUED WRITING AT FIRST BUT THEN NOTHING CAME OUT, SO
π is the ratio – the λογος – of the circumference to the diameter of each, every, and any circle.
To the extent that geometric objects are as real as numbers, π is as “rational” – λογικον – as numbers that can be represented as the division of one integer by another.
Surprised no one has mentioned that the best part about this post in the still from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
salinger rocks so hard that mimi could cry
hi zippy
i have a squirrel at my house that is obsessed with getting under one of my roof shingles and i often wonder why
also i’m curious now about shingles in relation to photons – …never thought i’d say that
oh wait, maybe the “HIDING UNDER A SHINGLE” thing only happens when zip is not a photon
also, zippy, hope U R OK, sincerely
no, that’s the Wortst Part
his Forehead makes me want 2 puke
and his moustache makes ne want to Puke
his
well, everything abotumit make sme want to Puke
hey stephen tully dierks, i am going to second what jackson nieuwland has said and agree that i look forward to your posts on htmlg and would also recommend ‘bartleby & co.” by enrique vila-matas, a book i think you would enjoy, which is about ‘writers of the ‘no’ ” and not-writing as opposed to writing
hi melissa
“or eating large bags of Kettle chips” this is the most beautiful fraction of a sentence in the history of sentence fractions
File under “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”
Sorry if this is rather blunt and unsophisticated, but: are you saying that the “99999”s at the end imply that pi is rational? And that is the joke? I mean, in the mathematical sense pi is irrational, but presumably you know that and are making a more subtle point about the article which I feel like I almost grasp but in all likelyhood do not. In any case I enjoyed the article.
HEY MIMI ZZZIPP KNOWS THAT GUY, HE’S ALRIGHT, BUT HE THINKS HE LOST A NUT IN THERE
HE MAY HAVE DEMENTIA
hey zippy – here’s a photon – oops i mean photo – that was an authentic typo btw – of him from 8.21.12 12:54:56 PM taken from my bedroom window which overlooks the shingled roof of my sunroom
do you think he looks demented? i don’t think he looks demented, but it’s so hard to tell with squirrels