January 15th, 2010 / 2:31 pm
Snippets
Snippets
Nick Antosca—
This year-old “Quarterlife Crisis” meme article just stressed me the fuck out. Even though the whole “I’m in my 20s and I don’t know what I want to do with my life” thing doesn’t quite apply to obsessive writer types, does it? The problem for us is we know exactly what we want to do and we spend all our time doing it because we like to do it, but it’s not exactly a viable “career.” So for us the question is… what the fuck is going to happen to us when we get old? Where are you going to be when you’re old? Publishing flash fiction downloaded directly into the brains of ten people worldwide?
Gosh, I hope I die before I get old.
Gosh, I hope I die before I get old.
no idea. do people worry about this? which is not. ok. they do. does anyone here worry about this?
no idea. do people worry about this? which is not. ok. they do. does anyone here worry about this?
i do, definitely.
i do, definitely.
every day.
and then it got worse when i finished grad school and stalled on my thesis.
i am 26.
every day.
and then it got worse when i finished grad school and stalled on my thesis.
i am 26.
i am 26 too
i am 26 too
i’m 28. this was painful to read. & nick: if 10 people read my flash fiction worldwide, i’ll be happy. seriously.
i’m 28. this was painful to read. & nick: if 10 people read my flash fiction worldwide, i’ll be happy. seriously.
damn. and you met haneke? that makes me feel old. the L interview is excellent by the way.
damn. and you met haneke? that makes me feel old. the L interview is excellent by the way.
f you youngn’s i’m 36 and happy not to throw out my back picking up a pair of dumbbells
i’m resigned to working as a bureaucrat the next 22 + years. then i can retire at 59 and really start churning out some stuff.
and figure out how to use ‘
thank you
f you youngn’s i’m 36 and happy not to throw out my back picking up a pair of dumbbells
i’m resigned to working as a bureaucrat the next 22 + years. then i can retire at 59 and really start churning out some stuff.
and figure out how to use ‘
thank you
i’m 24. maybe in two years it’ll hit?
i’m 24. maybe in two years it’ll hit?
it coincides with the slowing down of the metabolism
it coincides with the slowing down of the metabolism
shit, i’m 24 and i started worrying about this stuff 2 years ago. this article made me feel sick to my stomach. made me feel like a whiney young white person.
shit, i’m 24 and i started worrying about this stuff 2 years ago. this article made me feel sick to my stomach. made me feel like a whiney young white person.
i’ll be one of the ten lily
i’ll be one of the ten lily
we’re all whiney white people, bryan. that’s why we read html giant.
we’re all whiney white people, bryan. that’s why we read html giant.
i cant wait to be 52 and still blogging for htmlgiant.
i cant wait to be 52 and still blogging for htmlgiant.
i can’t wait to be one of the ten people downloading those posts directly to my brain.
i can’t wait to be one of the ten people downloading those posts directly to my brain.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.
-Kurt Vonnegut
super! one down, nine to go. then, my life will be fulfilled.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.
-Kurt Vonnegut
super! one down, nine to go. then, my life will be fulfilled.
nah dude that hit about 2 years ago.
in that i went from needing a biggie sized double and 5 piece nugget to more or less being able to eat usually all of a regular sized double.
nah dude that hit about 2 years ago.
in that i went from needing a biggie sized double and 5 piece nugget to more or less being able to eat usually all of a regular sized double.
the pursuit of happiness has become an illness. yes. but flatulence is a symptom, not a cause.
nonetheless, there may be a clue in the very fact that fart jokes are eternally funny.
the pursuit of happiness has become an illness. yes. but flatulence is a symptom, not a cause.
nonetheless, there may be a clue in the very fact that fart jokes are eternally funny.
Ken, that’s my favorite quote. I use it all the time when my parents ask why my husband and I aren’t real people yet.
Ken, that’s my favorite quote. I use it all the time when my parents ask why my husband and I aren’t real people yet.
It’s especially irritating to feel this sense of mid-20s “crisis” and at the same time be completely aware of how cliche/typical/completely unoriginal the whole thing is. Contrasts nicely with early teenage years, when every problem was completely unique and unprecedented.
It’s especially irritating to feel this sense of mid-20s “crisis” and at the same time be completely aware of how cliche/typical/completely unoriginal the whole thing is. Contrasts nicely with early teenage years, when every problem was completely unique and unprecedented.
quarter life crisis is bullshit. my pops, at 25, came to a country where he didn’t speak the language even close to fluently and had a wife and newborn baby boy and had like $2 in his pocket and built his way up. now, king is flashy and has been on billboards. if ever, the american dream. if i ever mentioned quarter life crisis guy would punch me in the dick so hard. sure, sure, generations, change, etc. but he and me aren’t so far removed.
quarter life crisis is bullshit. my pops, at 25, came to a country where he didn’t speak the language even close to fluently and had a wife and newborn baby boy and had like $2 in his pocket and built his way up. now, king is flashy and has been on billboards. if ever, the american dream. if i ever mentioned quarter life crisis guy would punch me in the dick so hard. sure, sure, generations, change, etc. but he and me aren’t so far removed.
Exc. from article:
“When a contemporary 25-year-old’s parents were 25, they weren’t concerned with keeping their options open: they were purposefully buying houses, making babies and making partner. Now, who we are and what we do is up to us, unbound to existing communities, families and class structures that offer leisure and self-determination to just a few. Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities.”
It’s fine to call it bullshit, but not if you completely disregard/can’t be bothered to read its definition.
Exc. from article:
“When a contemporary 25-year-old’s parents were 25, they weren’t concerned with keeping their options open: they were purposefully buying houses, making babies and making partner. Now, who we are and what we do is up to us, unbound to existing communities, families and class structures that offer leisure and self-determination to just a few. Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities.”
It’s fine to call it bullshit, but not if you completely disregard/can’t be bothered to read its definition.
“When a contemporary 25-year-old’s parents were 25, they weren’t concerned with keeping their options open: they were purposefully buying houses, making babies and making partner. Now, who we are and what we do is up to us, unbound to existing communities, families and class structures that offer leisure and self-determination to just a few. Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities.”
just to go off that quote, i don’t know, i think it’s sad.
i wasn’t raised that way and, in all honesty, it’s about as alien a point of view to me as people that think a dude fucking a dude will end the world by angering a big man that lives in the sky.
when my mom was 25 she had just finished her mfa. i have no idea what my dad was doing. then they got married. and eked out a living as best they could until my mom got a full-time teaching gig.
so i don’t know. i know there are all these myths about artists out there, but i never really understood them. maybe this isn’t about that. this is about a rootless generation and the notion of indecision. this idea that we do not know where we are going.
i don’t completely understand it. this may have become evident.
there are some things that i know and some things that i don’t and i am pretty much alright with this.
“When a contemporary 25-year-old’s parents were 25, they weren’t concerned with keeping their options open: they were purposefully buying houses, making babies and making partner. Now, who we are and what we do is up to us, unbound to existing communities, families and class structures that offer leisure and self-determination to just a few. Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities.”
just to go off that quote, i don’t know, i think it’s sad.
i wasn’t raised that way and, in all honesty, it’s about as alien a point of view to me as people that think a dude fucking a dude will end the world by angering a big man that lives in the sky.
when my mom was 25 she had just finished her mfa. i have no idea what my dad was doing. then they got married. and eked out a living as best they could until my mom got a full-time teaching gig.
so i don’t know. i know there are all these myths about artists out there, but i never really understood them. maybe this isn’t about that. this is about a rootless generation and the notion of indecision. this idea that we do not know where we are going.
i don’t completely understand it. this may have become evident.
there are some things that i know and some things that i don’t and i am pretty much alright with this.
Sasha,
I agree with you about it being sad (and for the record I’m also 24). But the generational divide in the paragraph I quoted rings true for me. My parents were definitely more concerned with starting a family at a really early age, buying a house, etc., while my priorities are totally different (artistic) and seem (at least according to the market) far more unattainable according to any conventional measures of success.
It reminds me a little of Russell’s Conquest of Happiness where he talks about the necessity of wanting something we can’t have, in which case the material affluence earned by the previous generation leaves us wanting nothing (food, clothes, shelter). Thus the essay’s reference to being “allowed to be anyone you want.” In that sense one could argue that the quarter-life crisis is “bullshit” because it’s a crisis of luxury. But then isn’t also the mid-life crisis, as well as any crisis that doesn’t involve some basic biological need?
Sasha,
I agree with you about it being sad (and for the record I’m also 24). But the generational divide in the paragraph I quoted rings true for me. My parents were definitely more concerned with starting a family at a really early age, buying a house, etc., while my priorities are totally different (artistic) and seem (at least according to the market) far more unattainable according to any conventional measures of success.
It reminds me a little of Russell’s Conquest of Happiness where he talks about the necessity of wanting something we can’t have, in which case the material affluence earned by the previous generation leaves us wanting nothing (food, clothes, shelter). Thus the essay’s reference to being “allowed to be anyone you want.” In that sense one could argue that the quarter-life crisis is “bullshit” because it’s a crisis of luxury. But then isn’t also the mid-life crisis, as well as any crisis that doesn’t involve some basic biological need?
Just so y’know–getting exactly what you want does actually make you happy.
Figured I’d nail that one down for ya.
Just so y’know–getting exactly what you want does actually make you happy.
Figured I’d nail that one down for ya.
The miracle of drugs is that they eradicate one’s sense of cliche. That’s why everything seems so witty.
The miracle of drugs is that they eradicate one’s sense of cliche. That’s why everything seems so witty.
Pleasing. Thanks.
Pleasing. Thanks.
good point chris, the definitude of food, clothes, shelter makes that want very unambiguous in terms of the object of that want, the effect that will be produced upon attaining it, and the function it serves. there is an absolute certainty about satisfying any of those things that nothing else in this life can compete with. if maslow’s hierarchy of needs holds true in any way, then the ability to transfer that want beyond the undeniable tangibility of the material and the biological becomes almost a skill; i don’t think it’s ingrained in us in the same way that the biological drives are hardwired; there occurs some sort of transmutation or sublimation of the instinctual to the subtle psychic realm of mental realia, less tangible but just as real things as emotions and fulfillment and all that other good shit. and at that level, there is no absolute certainty that a certain object or goal will bring about the same level of undeniable satiation that, say, eating a steak or potatoe does.
reading the article evoked a sad element, yeah the bullshit luxury, but it more strongly evoked for me the predicament of the human condition, which can not be explained away as a bag full of hormones and hunger. most if not all of the major religions exist in some way to alleviate suffering, which they consider the world, more or less, to be a manifestation of. if a person tries to attain happiness on this plane of existence, recognizing that it has some worth in itself rather than as a tool for some deific sphere, then once the basics have been met, but not owned, simply handed down (as in the quarterlife crisis gen) there’s no other roadmap for the individual to take by which to participate meaningfully in the world. ‘follow your bliss’ is all we’ve been told, ‘anything is possible’, but that’s all bullshit and empty rhetoric. perhaps the crisis gen (of which i consider myself an example) is directionless precisely because there’s no precedent, not simply in the economic sense, but also the lack of societal structure which was rightly dismantled in the name of equality, yet has left a complete void in the sense of role. “allowed to be anyone you want” is uncannily american because class is solely an economic standing, no longer a social one. entitlement (not owning one’s own situation) bereft of belonging-ness or fulfilling some purpose within a larger network begets sociopathic and schizophrenic tendencies.
all the progress that america has made in the name of equality, justice and the pursuit of happiness has been a blind striving with the idea that everything will turn out alright and take care of itself because happiness is the be-all and end-all, but the formula doesn’t take into account the variables. from a certain perspective there appear to be constants, but once certain things have been met without being owned, those constants become slippery variables, and the outcomes vary wildly with little chance of reproducing the same results. the rules have changed enormously, and yet people keep trying to conform the conditions to the same old game. the 20th century was fucking whacked. the 21st century promises even more so. each era reveals a new variety on what it means to be human, something that has no answer and no closure, but just keeps unfolding.
good point chris, the definitude of food, clothes, shelter makes that want very unambiguous in terms of the object of that want, the effect that will be produced upon attaining it, and the function it serves. there is an absolute certainty about satisfying any of those things that nothing else in this life can compete with. if maslow’s hierarchy of needs holds true in any way, then the ability to transfer that want beyond the undeniable tangibility of the material and the biological becomes almost a skill; i don’t think it’s ingrained in us in the same way that the biological drives are hardwired; there occurs some sort of transmutation or sublimation of the instinctual to the subtle psychic realm of mental realia, less tangible but just as real things as emotions and fulfillment and all that other good shit. and at that level, there is no absolute certainty that a certain object or goal will bring about the same level of undeniable satiation that, say, eating a steak or potatoe does.
reading the article evoked a sad element, yeah the bullshit luxury, but it more strongly evoked for me the predicament of the human condition, which can not be explained away as a bag full of hormones and hunger. most if not all of the major religions exist in some way to alleviate suffering, which they consider the world, more or less, to be a manifestation of. if a person tries to attain happiness on this plane of existence, recognizing that it has some worth in itself rather than as a tool for some deific sphere, then once the basics have been met, but not owned, simply handed down (as in the quarterlife crisis gen) there’s no other roadmap for the individual to take by which to participate meaningfully in the world. ‘follow your bliss’ is all we’ve been told, ‘anything is possible’, but that’s all bullshit and empty rhetoric. perhaps the crisis gen (of which i consider myself an example) is directionless precisely because there’s no precedent, not simply in the economic sense, but also the lack of societal structure which was rightly dismantled in the name of equality, yet has left a complete void in the sense of role. “allowed to be anyone you want” is uncannily american because class is solely an economic standing, no longer a social one. entitlement (not owning one’s own situation) bereft of belonging-ness or fulfilling some purpose within a larger network begets sociopathic and schizophrenic tendencies.
all the progress that america has made in the name of equality, justice and the pursuit of happiness has been a blind striving with the idea that everything will turn out alright and take care of itself because happiness is the be-all and end-all, but the formula doesn’t take into account the variables. from a certain perspective there appear to be constants, but once certain things have been met without being owned, those constants become slippery variables, and the outcomes vary wildly with little chance of reproducing the same results. the rules have changed enormously, and yet people keep trying to conform the conditions to the same old game. the 20th century was fucking whacked. the 21st century promises even more so. each era reveals a new variety on what it means to be human, something that has no answer and no closure, but just keeps unfolding.
c’mon chris, really? i was talking about the phenomena of “the quarterlife crisis” not as it exactly pertained to this article, but this article didn’t broach anything new. and how can you call shits on someone not reading something when you didn’t read the last line of what i wrote: “sure, sure, generations, change, etc. but he and me aren’t so far removed” saying that through the lens of my own experiential system, my father’s and my own aren’t as dissimilar as the article makes most out to be. i could go into korean-korean american, first gen-gen 1.5 patriarchal schema but neither of us wants that, do we? still, bullshit homie.
c’mon chris, really? i was talking about the phenomena of “the quarterlife crisis” not as it exactly pertained to this article, but this article didn’t broach anything new. and how can you call shits on someone not reading something when you didn’t read the last line of what i wrote: “sure, sure, generations, change, etc. but he and me aren’t so far removed” saying that through the lens of my own experiential system, my father’s and my own aren’t as dissimilar as the article makes most out to be. i could go into korean-korean american, first gen-gen 1.5 patriarchal schema but neither of us wants that, do we? still, bullshit homie.
Gene – Yeah I did read the “generations, change, etc.” ending to your post, and like I said, no problem at all with calling the quarter-life crisis thing bullshit, since (like I said below) every crisis like this that doesn’t involve some really basic need is inherently at least a little bullshit. It just seemed to me that the life experience you described is so different from the experience the article describes (they mention the Stuff White People Like-crowd, which strikes me as both cringe-inducing and accurate) that it doesn’t, in and of itself, negate the idea of the quarterlife etc.
My point was that it’s not just a generational thing, but a demographic thing.
Anyway, in response to: “aren’t as dissimilar as the article makes most out to be.” Point taken. There’s a certain cultural trendiness in exaggerating differences between one gen. and the next, no doubt. Thanks for your response, Gene.
Gene – Yeah I did read the “generations, change, etc.” ending to your post, and like I said, no problem at all with calling the quarter-life crisis thing bullshit, since (like I said below) every crisis like this that doesn’t involve some really basic need is inherently at least a little bullshit. It just seemed to me that the life experience you described is so different from the experience the article describes (they mention the Stuff White People Like-crowd, which strikes me as both cringe-inducing and accurate) that it doesn’t, in and of itself, negate the idea of the quarterlife etc.
My point was that it’s not just a generational thing, but a demographic thing.
Anyway, in response to: “aren’t as dissimilar as the article makes most out to be.” Point taken. There’s a certain cultural trendiness in exaggerating differences between one gen. and the next, no doubt. Thanks for your response, Gene.
I like where you’ve gone with this, Keith. It’s definitely part of a much larger conversation, and maybe a consequence of a fucked up way of thinking about happiness that will probably be a distinguishing feature of this era. Expectations for what will make us happy (along with how we think about happiness, as contentment, achievement or amusement, etc.) are absurdly out of line with the results.
And I agree that there’s a very real unprecedented-ness arising not just from the societal structure but an entirely new social/technological environment that’s changing (maybe?) how we think about the “human condition.”
I like where you’ve gone with this, Keith. It’s definitely part of a much larger conversation, and maybe a consequence of a fucked up way of thinking about happiness that will probably be a distinguishing feature of this era. Expectations for what will make us happy (along with how we think about happiness, as contentment, achievement or amusement, etc.) are absurdly out of line with the results.
And I agree that there’s a very real unprecedented-ness arising not just from the societal structure but an entirely new social/technological environment that’s changing (maybe?) how we think about the “human condition.”
I am 39, which is maybe 390 on this site. It’s like Yoda only I don’t talk backwards unless I touch The Stimulator, and that’s a more a stutter.
I still wonder if my life is meaningless.
Can the broken self fix the broken self?
Etc.
Is the pursuit of happiness a worthwhile endeavor, considering the short time we have?
I am 39, which is maybe 390 on this site. It’s like Yoda only I don’t talk backwards unless I touch The Stimulator, and that’s a more a stutter.
I still wonder if my life is meaningless.
Can the broken self fix the broken self?
Etc.
Is the pursuit of happiness a worthwhile endeavor, considering the short time we have?
Yes. Especially considering there’s nothing actual better than happiness.
Yes. Especially considering there’s nothing actual better than happiness.
“actually” that is.
“actually” that is.
i think it’s more that it’s something i don’t understand. i see that it happens, and i am aware that it happens, but right now it doesn’t seem to be something that relates to me personally.
i feel a lot of this is how i was raised.
a lot of it also maybe has to do with this thing that was being talked about in one of my classes this semester, the idea being of people that need to experience an understanding and people that need to understand an experience.
which is probably a vague point to make and to end on, but it’s a thing i need to work out in my head better at some point, in terms of the argument i am trying to make here, but really, i think that happiness is a difficult thing to come by sometimes, that when it comes down to it we are the only ones responsible for our happiness, and that we should not maybe expect certain thins to equal happiness, as happiness, much like love, is a very personal thing that people respond to differently. and that comes about for all sorts of reasons in all sorts of people.
i think it’s more that it’s something i don’t understand. i see that it happens, and i am aware that it happens, but right now it doesn’t seem to be something that relates to me personally.
i feel a lot of this is how i was raised.
a lot of it also maybe has to do with this thing that was being talked about in one of my classes this semester, the idea being of people that need to experience an understanding and people that need to understand an experience.
which is probably a vague point to make and to end on, but it’s a thing i need to work out in my head better at some point, in terms of the argument i am trying to make here, but really, i think that happiness is a difficult thing to come by sometimes, that when it comes down to it we are the only ones responsible for our happiness, and that we should not maybe expect certain thins to equal happiness, as happiness, much like love, is a very personal thing that people respond to differently. and that comes about for all sorts of reasons in all sorts of people.