"dear new yorker, enclosed is my story, HIT A HOMERUN FOR GRANDMA, LITTLE BILLY."

i think everyone has or has had a method. what is your method? here’s mine for right now:

sit down on my bed (which has no box spring, sits on floor)
pinch my eyes closed to avoid crying (then use the one or two tears that fall onto my leg to twist up my leg hair into “dreads”)
inhale a beachball filled with nitrous
then just cut and paste babysitter’s club books and pantera lyrics