I came to this video in the related videos YouTube attached to the one in Matthew’s post yesterday on tone and Diff’rent Strokes, and originally was interested in watching it mainly for the choice rap performance from Gary Coleman and his self-proclaimed “very different from Michael Jackson” buddy laying a hip-hop smackdown on the Will Shriner show. Dang.

It was in the interview after the performance, though, that the thing that really stood out about the video for me hit. Scroll to 5:08, right near the end, and observe the crowd and host’s reaction when the child star expresses his interest in becoming a short story writer.

He wants to write stories??? How funny! How absurd!

Will’s cheese-eating giggle quip, “Now Gary, all you gotta do is write a story…,” shaking his little hand like he’s got a pen.

Good job, America. Instead he turned into a crackhead or something, right?

Really, though, I can understand the punchline. Fucking writers. I’d laugh at a child too.

Gary, if you’re out there man, our submissions are closed right now, but you can consider yourself ‘solicited’ any day of any week.