November 24th, 2009 / 2:27 pm
Web Hype

Slayer / Htmlgiant

bloodSriracha hot sauce

I’ve always liked it when fans cut SLAYER into their bodies (nobody does this with country or jazz; satan rulz). I like htmlgiant a lot, but not enough to cut it into my body. Instead, I asked my wife (got married, fyi) to write HTMLGIANT with Sriracha hot sauce in her best “slayer font,” and in case you think I’m a wus, it totally burned. Satanic music jeopardized my relationship with my mom, as she forbid me to listen to it. Htmlgiant has at times jeopardized my relationship with my wife, as I’m always on it and sort of ignoring her. She’s all “can you heat up the peas?” and I’m like “comment shit-storm babe, really emo now.” So this is an open thank you to a) Slayer: for shredding, b) htmlgiant: for being a bunch of racist fags¹, c) my mom: for eventually letting me be satanic, and d) my wife: for heating up the god damn peas herself.


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1. Don’t start.

Tags:

86 Comments

  1. Blake Butler

      i name this day Jimmy Chen day.

  2. Blake Butler

      i name this day Jimmy Chen day.

  3. drew kalbach

      yr wife did a good job with that slayer font

  4. drew kalbach

      yr wife did a good job with that slayer font

  5. Ryan Call

      lol

  6. Ryan Call

      lol

  7. david erlewine

      She’s all “can you heat up the peas?” and I’m like “comment shit-storm babe, really emo now.”

      indeed, JC day.

  8. david erlewine

      She’s all “can you heat up the peas?” and I’m like “comment shit-storm babe, really emo now.”

      indeed, JC day.

  9. Adam Robinson

      second

  10. Adam Robinson

      second

  11. E.E.

      You’ve inspired me to write Janey Smith on my apartment wall in blood colored crayon. Why Janey Smith? Oh I don’t know. She’s all I can think about these days…

  12. E.E.

      You’ve inspired me to write Janey Smith on my apartment wall in blood colored crayon. Why Janey Smith? Oh I don’t know. She’s all I can think about these days…

  13. barry

      jimmy is the champion of the world…

  14. barry

      jimmy is the champion of the world…

  15. Erik Stinson

      heavy mthl

  16. Erik Stinson

      heavy mthl

  17. Ken Baumann

      3rd

  18. Ken Baumann

      mr. chen: congrats on the wife, btw! yes! matrimony!

  19. Ken Baumann

      3rd

  20. Ken Baumann

      mr. chen: congrats on the wife, btw! yes! matrimony!

  21. jereme

      are you really married jimmy?

      good luck with that…

  22. jereme

      are you really married jimmy?

      good luck with that…

  23. Nathan Tyree

      Blood and cum covered crayon

  24. Nathan Tyree

      Blood and cum covered crayon

  25. Jimmy Chen

      thanks K.

  26. Jimmy Chen

      thanks K.

  27. Jimmy Chen

      yah, ’tis realz bra — s’all good

  28. Jimmy Chen

      yah, ’tis realz bra — s’all good

  29. dan
  30. dan
  31. Ross Brighton

      Fuck slayer. It’s all about the Black Metal. Motherfucking Mayhem. De Mysterius Dom Sathanas, bitches

  32. Ross Brighton

      to qualify, Reign in blood is evil; just not evil enough.

  33. Ross Brighton

      Fuck slayer. It’s all about the Black Metal. Motherfucking Mayhem. De Mysterius Dom Sathanas, bitches

  34. Ross Brighton

      to qualify, Reign in blood is evil; just not evil enough.

  35. davidpeak

      i’m more of an emperor kind of guy–but your sentiment is much appreciated.

  36. davidpeak

      i’m more of an emperor kind of guy–but your sentiment is much appreciated.

  37. Ross Brighton

      Emperor? not a fan I have to say. Must be grim, more hiss than music (Ulver’s Nattens Madrigal, anything like Xasthur, Leviathan, Striborg) – I’m not a fan of keys. somehow they don’t sound particularly evil.

  38. Ross Brighton

      Emperor? not a fan I have to say. Must be grim, more hiss than music (Ulver’s Nattens Madrigal, anything like Xasthur, Leviathan, Striborg) – I’m not a fan of keys. somehow they don’t sound particularly evil.

  39. davidpeak

      early darkthrone?

  40. davidpeak

      early darkthrone?

  41. Ross Brighton

      Transylvanian Hunger is one of the greatest albums ever recorded. That is high art.

  42. Ross Brighton

      Transylvanian Hunger is one of the greatest albums ever recorded. That is high art.

  43. joeseife

      World–needs–more–Chen. Congratulations, Jimmy, on getting married. I wish you both decades of love.

  44. joeseife

      World–needs–more–Chen. Congratulations, Jimmy, on getting married. I wish you both decades of love.

  45. Matthew Simmons

      Ross, do you know the band WOLD? Love them. Striborg, too. One guy alone in a room, soaked in weird reverb and strong beer gurgling and spitting into a microphone.

  46. Matthew Simmons

      Ross, do you know the band WOLD? Love them. Striborg, too. One guy alone in a room, soaked in weird reverb and strong beer gurgling and spitting into a microphone.

  47. davidpeak

      screech owl is great

  48. davidpeak

      screech owl is great

  49. Sean

      Married?

      Bad call.

  50. Sean

      Then again, that is a Top 10 sauce. I cake that on water.

  51. Sean

      Married?

      Bad call.

  52. Sean

      Then again, that is a Top 10 sauce. I cake that on water.

  53. Jimmy Chen

      i’ll be okay sean. i got good advice from dr. phil, he said “you want to be happy or right?” and that has resonated deeply in me.

  54. Jimmy Chen

      i’ll be okay sean. i got good advice from dr. phil, he said “you want to be happy or right?” and that has resonated deeply in me.

  55. Blake Butler

      haha. i wish phil wrote experimental fiction.

  56. Blake Butler

      haha. i wish phil wrote experimental fiction.

  57. Matthew Simmons

      I like to jog to Screech Owl.

      I like to jog to black metal.

  58. Matthew Simmons

      I like to jog to Screech Owl.

      I like to jog to black metal.

  59. joseph

      aw, i think this is cute. and it’s so very true, to expand this, about ‘us’ liking things but not enough to carve their name into our skin.

  60. joseph

      aw, i think this is cute. and it’s so very true, to expand this, about ‘us’ liking things but not enough to carve their name into our skin.

  61. xtx

      congratulations!

  62. xtx

      congratulations!

  63. jereme

      well congrats on the union. i hope she makes your heart flutter.

      but marriage is for suckers. i learned that the hard way. hence the good luck wish.

  64. jereme

      well congrats on the union. i hope she makes your heart flutter.

      but marriage is for suckers. i learned that the hard way. hence the good luck wish.

  65. KevinS

      Who WOULDN’T want to marry Jimmy Chen?!

  66. KevinS

      Who WOULDN’T want to marry Jimmy Chen?!

  67. Sean

      Hey, if you want right and unhappy, you go. I say congrats.

      (Aside: Also I generally do not doubt J chen. He is clearly smarter than me. Not being an ass. Seriously.)

      S

  68. Sean

      Hey, if you want right and unhappy, you go. I say congrats.

      (Aside: Also I generally do not doubt J chen. He is clearly smarter than me. Not being an ass. Seriously.)

      S

  69. mimi

      Imagine my surprise and utter delight upon reading that Jimmy Chen has gotten married.
      As a relative newcomer to HTML GIANT, it was not so very long ago that, while reading the contributor profiles in ABOUT HTMLGIANT, I learned that Jimmy “lives in San Francisco” with his “domestic partner” and their “stuffed alligator”. Well, you can imagine the conclusion I immediately leapt to about his…er…uh…well….you know, _preferences_. And there was the shaved head, the Buddha-like calm expression with just a hint of mischief. A blue shirt, hipster glasses. The excellent use of the word “sommelier”. The Madonna-fucking-Inn for cripe’s sake.

      Of course there were clues to the contrary. The sangria-in-a-juice-glass. He wanted to ….. something….. with a girl in eighth(?) grade…. (_I_ wanted to …..something….. with a girl in eighth grade…..) (When I was in tenth grade. Not _now_, you perve!) And he did call someone a “dickbag” in a recent comment thread, a word I have never heard uttered by any of the friends “of Dorothy” that I have.

      So, even though you don’t “know me from Adam”, I send across the bay to you, Jimmy, congratulations on your nuptials, and I wish you and the new missus many years of happiness together.

      The whole “peas – comment shit-storm – emo” bit was priceless, btw. ROFLers!

      And I detect fodder for two more HTML GIANT posts:
      1) “can you heat up the peas?” Mrs. Jimmy Chen: EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
      – and –
      2) “my mom….eventually letting me be satanic” Jimmy Chen’s mom: EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

  70. mimi

      Imagine my surprise and utter delight upon reading that Jimmy Chen has gotten married.
      As a relative newcomer to HTML GIANT, it was not so very long ago that, while reading the contributor profiles in ABOUT HTMLGIANT, I learned that Jimmy “lives in San Francisco” with his “domestic partner” and their “stuffed alligator”. Well, you can imagine the conclusion I immediately leapt to about his…er…uh…well….you know, _preferences_. And there was the shaved head, the Buddha-like calm expression with just a hint of mischief. A blue shirt, hipster glasses. The excellent use of the word “sommelier”. The Madonna-fucking-Inn for cripe’s sake.

      Of course there were clues to the contrary. The sangria-in-a-juice-glass. He wanted to ….. something….. with a girl in eighth(?) grade…. (_I_ wanted to …..something….. with a girl in eighth grade…..) (When I was in tenth grade. Not _now_, you perve!) And he did call someone a “dickbag” in a recent comment thread, a word I have never heard uttered by any of the friends “of Dorothy” that I have.

      So, even though you don’t “know me from Adam”, I send across the bay to you, Jimmy, congratulations on your nuptials, and I wish you and the new missus many years of happiness together.

      The whole “peas – comment shit-storm – emo” bit was priceless, btw. ROFLers!

      And I detect fodder for two more HTML GIANT posts:
      1) “can you heat up the peas?” Mrs. Jimmy Chen: EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
      – and –
      2) “my mom….eventually letting me be satanic” Jimmy Chen’s mom: EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

  71. Jason Spidle

      I always wonder when someone does something so daring as to think up an idea, execute it, plug in the camera, download the photographic evidence, crop it, upload it and post about it on HTMLGIANT, how long it takes for that whole process? Is it just a couple minutes? Half hour? A full hour? How much time is spent on this post.

  72. Jason Spidle

      I always wonder when someone does something so daring as to think up an idea, execute it, plug in the camera, download the photographic evidence, crop it, upload it and post about it on HTMLGIANT, how long it takes for that whole process? Is it just a couple minutes? Half hour? A full hour? How much time is spent on this post.

  73. Jimmy Chen

      oh mimi, thank you for caring as you do

  74. Jimmy Chen

      oh mimi, thank you for caring as you do

  75. Jimmy Chen

      ~35min whilst watching ‘find my family’ a new show on ABC; still haven’t showered, back still ‘spicy’ according to wife

  76. Jimmy Chen

      ~35min whilst watching ‘find my family’ a new show on ABC; still haven’t showered, back still ‘spicy’ according to wife

  77. Ross Brighton

      I’ll have to check both of them out. Stiborg is killing me at the moment, and Kevin Drumm’s black noise (like Sheer Hellish Miasma).
      Black Boned Angel is pretty evil dron-noise-metal

  78. Ross Brighton

      I’ll have to check both of them out. Stiborg is killing me at the moment, and Kevin Drumm’s black noise (like Sheer Hellish Miasma).
      Black Boned Angel is pretty evil dron-noise-metal

  79. Jonny Ross

      wasn’t that the cover for a metallica album, or two?

  80. Jonny Ross

      wasn’t that the cover for a metallica album, or two?

  81. Jonny Ross

      behemoth all the way!

  82. Jonny Ross

      behemoth all the way!

  83. Jonny Ross

      like the eastern-tinged elements in nile, combined with the blast beats.

  84. Jonny Ross

      like the eastern-tinged elements in nile, combined with the blast beats.

  85. Laura Ellen Scott

      how jimmy got his spicy back.

      congrats!

  86. Laura Ellen Scott

      how jimmy got his spicy back.

      congrats!