Blind Items

An Open, Earnest Letter to People Who Like Gruesomeness in Books & Film

This is your brain on fear. As it turns out, Hippocampus isn't fat camp for Latin nerds.

Dear People,

I’m the pain in the ass who makes deciding on a movie en masse impossible. But is it violent? How violent is it, if it is? Do animals get murdered? Do children get murdered? Eventually we’ll decide on a bonehead comedy or a beautifully shot Icelandic film about rafts in the gloaming.

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Blind Items & Film & Haut or not / 58 Comments
May 18th, 2010 / 11:54 am

BLIND ITEM: EVERY GOOD SHORT STORY WRITTEN IN THE UNITED STATES

smug asshole

We don’t run a lot of blind items, but it’s an available tag for posts, so… here’s a blind item.  READ MORE >

Blind Items / 88 Comments
February 8th, 2010 / 12:45 pm

Conceptual Plagiarism

What if someone made a book by plagiarizing the newspaper; then six years later someone came along and made a book by plagiarizing that first plagiarism? Answer:

Day by Kenneth Goldsmith (The Figures, 2003)
From the “Author”:

“I am spending my 39th year practicing uncreativity. On Friday, September 1, 2000, I began retyping the day’s NEW YORK TIMES word for word, letter for letter, from the upper left hand corner to the lower right hand corner, page by page.” With these words, Kenneth Goldsmith embarked upon a project which he termed “uncreative writing”, that is: uncreativity as a constraint-based process; uncreativity as a creative practice. By typing page upon page, making no distinction between article, editorial and advertisement, disregarding all typographic and graphical treatments, Goldsmith levels the daily newspaper. DAY is a monument to the ephemeral, comprised of yesterday’s news, a fleeting moment concretized, captured, then reframed into the discourse of literature. “When I reach 40, I hope to have cleansed myself of all creativity.”

Day by Kent John­son (BlazeVox, 2009)

From the “Author”:

What he said.

Blind Items / 35 Comments
September 29th, 2009 / 9:26 pm

Mightiest of books, mightiest of men

kirk_vikings_1Following the expulsion of Erik Bloodaxe from York in 954, England had enjoyed a quarter-century of respite from Viking attacks. One of the two men responsible for their resumption was Olaf Tryggvason. Olaf’s is one of the emblematic careers of the Viking Age, describing in clear trajectory his graduation from marauding sea-king to missionary land-king. His life and career are the subject of one of Snorri Sturluson’s longer sagas, of one even longer called The Greater Saga of Olaf Tryggvason, and of a lost sage written in Latin by Odd Monk, which nevertheless survives in a free translation.

That bit is taken from Robert Ferguson’s epic, forthcoming history of the Vikings, coveniently entitled The Vikings. If you could have a saga written about you, what would it be called? And who would write it? Subquestion: How do you think Erik got the surname ‘Bloodaxe’?

Blind Items / 2 Comments
August 11th, 2009 / 2:41 pm

The Dead Quiet of Positive Pursuit

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Blind Items / 50 Comments
June 2nd, 2009 / 3:56 pm

HYO JUNG

hello hyo jung. i want to interview you for this site. this will allow you to say what you want to say. email me. i can’t find your email address. thanks. sampinkisalive@gmail.com

Blind Items / 18 Comments
April 22nd, 2009 / 7:00 pm

Our Value

value

Fellow Giants, I was going to wait until the board meeting on Monday, but maybe I’ll just go ahead and do this now. According to the website $timator, we’re worth $7,049.

I say we sell.

Blind Items & Random / 22 Comments
February 27th, 2009 / 8:28 pm

Lost & Found Department: Workshop Edition

FOUND: A printout of what appears to be most of a short story, with parenthetical comments not hand-written but apparently typed into the document before it was printed out. Document pages are not numbered. There is no title or author name or critic’s name or any other identifying marks. The document was found by this agent, at a restaurant a few blocks south of NYU.

All things considered, it seems wrong to have more than a wee bit of fun with this, but a wee bit never hurt anybody, right? 


The unravelling aspect of the piece is perfectly timed. The change in Howard’s attitude toward his mother’s situation is not sudden; it builds up slowly, each negative thought concerning Suzette’s appearance erasing her hold on matters. Edith is manipulative, but subtly so. That she is probably as physically frail as Suzette never really becomes an issue; such is her grip on Howard. There are many wonderful comic phrases throughout and plenty of fresh observations, such as the anthropodal patellas and the hilarious notion that obesity offends Suzette, but an obese irresponsible pet owner is more egregious. The only thing I might add is that while the attitudinal changes arise purposefully and come at correct intervals, the actual visit to Edith’s seems quite long. I enjoyed every paragraph, however, so it may not be such a pressing concern.

Behind the Scenes & Blind Items / 7 Comments
January 8th, 2009 / 6:07 pm

FIRST EVER HTMLGIANT LITERARY CONTEST (NO ENTRY FEE)

Friends, this picture was provided to us by an anonymous friend of mine, who is an excellent and well-known publisher. S/he forwarded it to me yesterday, with the following message appended: >>this girl made fun of me in high school (pink dress)<<. 

 

For the first ever HTMLGiant literary contest, you are invited to write an original piece of literature inspired by this photograph. Poetry, prose & indeterminate forms are all acceptable. Feel free to simply provide a caption, or to produce a short-short up to, say, 300 words. Leave your entries in the comments section of this post. 

 

My anonymous friend will judge, and it will be up to him/her what–if anything–the winner receives.

Blind Items & Contests & Mean / 31 Comments
November 17th, 2008 / 11:49 pm

Underland Press, Blind Items

One: Blake mentioned the Brian Evenson interview on the Underland Press site. On the Extras page, you will find a really nice, beautifully brutal piece of fiction by Our Fearless Editing Leader.

***

Two: I would like to reboot my Blind Items feature. Please send indie/literary rumors, news, innuendo, and suggestions to giantblinditems at gmail dot com.

Anything, really. Send it on and I’ll consider spreading it.

Blind Items / 2 Comments
November 7th, 2008 / 4:16 pm