Haut or Not: Zachary German
Tao Lin emailed us a sideways pic of Zachary German’s bookcase. I decided there was no point in straightening out the pic since German wasn’t straight (that’s arguably not a gay joke). Also, one can better see the spines this way. I cropped the entry into three separate pics (conveniently separated by shelves). There’s no way to do this except after the break — trust me.
Haut or not: A Triad
Alan Horn
Alan Horn apparently really wanted us to read the spines, as he included a very high-resolution pic accompanying the ‘regular’ pic. A lot a blood and sex if you ask me (and I’m not talking about the Bible): Psychopathia Sexualis: An [unclear] Forensic Study, Locked Room Murders, Philosophy in the Bedroom, A History of Secret Societies etc. I feel like I’m looking at Jack the Ripper’s bookshelf. ‘Summer Bachelors,’ ‘What is that?’ and ‘Kiss your ass goodbye,’ none of which I know anything about, are amazing titles. This is probably the most interesting bookshelf we’ve seen. I’ve been criticized often for relying too much on penis jokes, so let me just say that Neither Man Nor Woman: The Hijras of India sounds like a castrati — I mean, captivating read.
Rating: [fucking] Haut
Haut or Not: A couplet
Alicia Gifford
Folks, here’s sneak (albeit pixelated) look at what the fiction editor of Night Train reads. Tempted as I was to ask her to resend a higher resolution pic, I thought about the ‘visual vocabulary of spines,’ how we’ve come to recognize a book by its design — how the spine often acts as an abbreviated version of the cover, in terms of color, fonts, etc. The title’s legibility is often not as important as the spine’s thematic composition. Yes, you can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge how sauve the publisher is; and the publisher hires the editor that judges the book — so in the end it’s related. Matthew Simmons, who works at a bookstore, has a knack for pointing out books. So, what do you see?
Haut or Not: “Worst of” (w/ digression)
What I could see happening has happened: satirical Haut or Not entrees — and from whom other than ‘TTB’ aka ‘Two Tears Boye,’ from Jaguar Uprising Press. (Circa 07-08 TTB and his partner Golden Bear were lamented/admired for their satirical takes on Bear Parade titles.) TTB writes this:
Hi, My name is jimmy chen. I wuz wundering if u could review my current reads bookcase on yur super duper website thingy! THANKS A BUNDLE!! hehe lol.
Empathetic satire or pure derision? I’ll opt for the former. TTB’s jest was followed by no doubt a found picture of some girl’s stack o’ chick books. TTB’s derivative impulses are arguably haut, but this stack of books may be the worst stack of books I’ve ever seen in my life.
Haut or Not: A Couplet
Tim Jones-Yelvington
I can’t argue with this guy — these books are just too haut. Good to see ‘writer’s writers’ like Diane Williams and Steven Millhauser, powerful ‘famous’ ladies like Moore, Gaitskill (I wish her last name was Hall) and Oates; and of course, our friends Tao Lin, Blake Butler, and Kim Chinquee. (Incidentally, Rachel B. Glaser’s ‘fiction’ piece about Christ, and Christ-like pop figures, in the pictured American Short Fiction is fucking great.) Impressed to see Vol. II (In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower) of Proust’s epic — as most people only read Swann’s Way and consider it done (like me). I will get slammed for this I’m sure, but I never really understood the cult behind Jesus’ Son. I have this theory that, like cats, we are either indoor or outdoor readers. Jane Austen would be the epitome of writer of indoor books, and maybe Graham Green or Conrad as writer of outdoor books. I’m an indoor kinda guy, and Denis Johnson feels outdoorsy. And just for the records, my ‘best american fantasy 2′ doesn’t involve the genre, but a shortage at the sperm bank during a sorority convention. I should grow up soon.
Rating: Haut
Haut or Not (w/ digression)
Drew Toal writes:
After he moved out of our apartment, Tao Lin didn’t take all of his books with him. So, it should be noted, that these are likely his least-essential books. But isn’t Tao Lin’s refuse still hauter than a normal person’s bookshelf pride?
It’s a strange message, but I can only assume that Drew would have no reason to mislead Htmlgiant, so let us gather that Tao a) lived with Drew at one point, and b) these are/were his books. In a perfect world, I probably should have contacted Tao to corroborate this, but this is an imperfect world.
Haut or Not: Alexis Orgera
Lewis Lapham, of Harper’s fame, started a new quarterly focusing in depth on ‘timeless’ humanist qualms such as war, love, nature, etc., and I’m happy to see this on her shelf. The thinness of that Moby Dick spine looks like some abridged version, but I’m hoping knot (get it? fuck). Joyce and Beckett sit well next to each other like Exile and Absence out for a date. I can only imagine the library late fees out on Paradise Lost — the Fall of man at 20 cents a day. Alexis is onto something with all this irrevocable mor(t)al stuff. (And who needs The Iowa Review when I got a review of Iowa right here: corn blows.) If you think I’m grasping for material here, I’ll just repeat what I said to Marco Polo, ‘get lost.’
Rating: Haut.
Haut or Not: An Assortment
David Hodges
Heller, Kafka, Orwell, Vonnegut — welcome to class kids. This semester Mr. Hodges will be teaching us how horrible society is and how to maintain a negative attitude. Then we’re gonna read A Confederacy of Dunces and all kill ourselves in hopes of also being posthumously published. And don’t forget, you can use Tom Wolfe’s book as an ottoman. Lastly, we’ll finish off with a biography of Clarence Thomas, cuz there’s nothing that says justice more than a pube on a can of Pepsi.
Rating: not.
Haut or Not: Matt Cozart
Melville’s dick on Sister Carrie — that’s all I can think about, and what looks to be a bunch of children’s books on top of Kenneth Koch and William Carlos Williams. Now we know where Matt’s priorities lie: so much depends upon/ a red wheelbarrow / and whether or not it’s nap-time. Such blasphemy doesn’t even compare with John Irving being 3 tiers above D.F. Wallace. [Brief interview with a hideous man: Q) You ever wish your last name began with M?, A) Yes, all the time.] As for O. Henry and O’Hara: O’MyGod
Rating: Not.
Haut or Not
HTMLGIANT hereby institutes Haut or Not, where we rate your bookshelves. This was initiated and corroborated by J. Taylor and B. Bulter, respectively, and inspired by this recent post and the unfortunate yet captivating Hot or Not series.
Just email htmlgiant@gmail.com a picture of your bookshelf (or stack of books w/ spines showing) and one us will either rate it ‘haut’ (haute, formal) or ‘not.’ You may also email individual contributors at their personal addresses if you specifically want them to rate you, acknowledging that our tastes vary drastically.
Here are the parameters:
Subject heading: Haut or not
pics: 500 pixel-wide jpeg, ~200kb.
Disclaimer: we are also free to rate, or make commentary on, all implicated vicinity of the photo. For example, if in the far distance we see an out-of-focus neon thing that resembles a dildo, we will assume it’s a dildo. You may insist it’s a $275 Roche-Bobois lamp, but we will ignore you. So please, be careful. If you are not prepared to be made fun of, this is not the venture for you.
Your Taste: A Review
I searched “my books” and “my bookshelf” on flickr and reviewed stranger’s tastes in literature.
Did you read Everything is Illuminated twice? I read the first 5 pages once, then felt irritated and put it down. Kudos on Lolita though, it really is an awesome book, and answers in full ‘why men love bitches,’ so I don’t see the point on reading an entire book on that. They made a movie out of The Namesake with Kumar. It was like Joy Luck Club except with Indians. I teared the entire movie, though I think it was the curry. As for ‘how to save your own life,’ don’t fly if you’re scared of it. Just fly a kite.
