This arrived in my email inbox this morning from a contributor who has asked to remain anonymous. I feel like posting it, so I will:

See what was happening was

See people were going to have the best hamburger yet, Puff Daddy had been sighted at the Anne’s Snack Shop in Pittsburgh for a ghetto burger

Dogs were having fun

See what was happening was there were no stop signs in any of the apartment complexes where anyone had grown up

Barack Obama brought the meat

Every morning in his cells, Bret Easton Ellis stands up and looks at the wall for 100 minutes before beginning on the sentences that will be deleted from his next novel

Someone is ready for hungry time

Today someone is ready for hungry time

When I say that ‘Artistic expression is impossible under Barack Obama’ I’m not any way trying to be funny

Though it will be easy to say I am

The best advice I ever got on writing was when the small woman full of blue blood stopped me in the street and asked me if I could help her tie her shoe

Which never happened

But was still the best advice I ever got on writing

People are getting afraid more often now, while eating waffles

At 4:04 am on 19th street in downtown Hemmings, a small child wriggles his fists in anticipation of the museum that will be built in the next 2-18 years over the ground where the room where he was going to one day cheat on his wife once stood

Today Barack Obama gets up in the morning and goes to the kitchen for a ham sandwich

But there is no longer any ham

There is an autographed replica of the first woman ever to be eaten alive, and there is a pack of Starburst gummies, and there is a lariat

But no ham