Barrelhouse Posts Holiday Guide, Wants Submissions on Office Life
not dave housley
The pop flotsam and cultural jetsam never ceases. Good thing Barrelhouse is around to clean up the mess.
Two things of note from those crazy bastards:
1) Barrelhouse is now reading for their Office Life Invitational. What do they want? Well, it’s pretty simple:
The Office is a TV show that has earned commercial and critical success. It is also the setting of your miserable life for at least 40 hours a week, and no one can take that away from you. Unfortunately. But doesn’t art flourish through misery?
Barrelhouse has decided to test that theory by inviting you cubicle drones to submit your fiction, essays, and poems about the highest highs and lowest lows of the disproportionate amount of time you spend in an Office Of Some Sort.
They even have a memo and a powerpoint presentation to clarify a few things for you.
2) In my Facebook inbox was the following Barrelhouse-y holiday guide (for those of you wanting to support indie lit this Christmas):
Hey Barrelhouse People,
We know you’ve been thinking, “I wonder what that one internet group that I joined, the one from the weird literary magazine that’s obsessed with Patrick Swayze, I wonder what they think I should buy my smart, smartass literary friends this year?”
Well, you, facebook friend, are in luck. Here’s your shopping list for this year. Amaze your friends at your literary awesomeness! Marvel at Mary Miller’s ability to put out two books of short stories at once! Buy stuff or download it for free! Whatever you do, here’s a great list of stuff from Barrelhouse friends and contributors (sorry if we missed some of you; we’re sure we did).
Bozipede
Bozipede: a type of famous, old-guard internet literary magazine insect, commonly called a “pindle” or a “pindle bozz.” The bozipede is also called a “pin del dee boz” by the brave, a “pee bozz” by people who spend too much time on their hair, and a “pin diddily boss” by the same people who think it’s funny to mix Kool-Aid and hydroplaning. Bozipedes are well-regarded for being interesting and awesome and spinning out six stories of varying forms, styles, and effects every couple months or so.
That’s right: a new PBoz is out.
Gawk the new fictive dreams from Digby Beaumont, Kristin Fouquet, Chelsey Flood, Tai Dong Huai, Patti Jazanoski, and Lydia Copeland.
What I’ve always liked about Pindeldyboz is how so many of the stories they publish seem small at first–scenes, Christmas muzak, malls, mice, lunch, a few teetering emotions–but always turn irrevocably weird. This isn’t categorical: lots of stuff gets published there that has nothing to do with this feeling of mine. But I feel like Pindeldyboz has an eye for chewy realism in the way that Eyeshot does chicanery or Hobart does mathematician truck driver humor.
All of these magazines have RSS feeds to which you should subscribe, so you won’t even need me–your hot yogurt man, your lumberjack-in-the-rain–to tell you these things. Yes: what I aim for is ultimate dispensibility, also known as “the opposite of sugar” or “not the new Pindeldyboz.”
Soon I will have absolutely no $$ and more books than I can see
Dang. SPD is having a 75% off sale. I am about to call the bank and ask for a loan. ‘For what?’ ‘For more books’ ‘I thought you had books.’ ‘I have books.’ ‘Let’s do it up!’
Underground Library Needs Your Help
PH Madore has started a wikisite called the Underground Library and he needs your help. The idea is that it will grow beyond the basic project that it is and become a useful resource for all of us. If you know a thing or two, take a few minutes to add that information to an already existing article or write a new one if one doesn’t already exist. The process is fairly simple, even for a computer moron like me, so give it a shot. All contributions are welcome and all contributions to contributions are welcome.
From the Lobby:
Why We’re Here
To document, promote, and sustain the literary underground in the most grassroots way possible: relying on the knowledge of said literary underground. To give incoming generations of writers and publishers a sense of history from which they may learn and to which they can contribute. To remain balanced and factual; to bring writing back to the reader.
I’ve tried writing up a few short things for the library based on my limited knowledge (I’ll also be helping with the site when he heads off to Iraq) and so far have posted rough articles on The Cupboard, the ULA, Bear Parade, Avery Anthology, Publishing Genius, and No Colony. Please add to them or change them if you know more than I or can write it in a much clearer way.
Write your own articles too.
Do stuff.
Visit the Where to Begin page or simply type in a search term and edit an existing page/create a new one.
The Cupboard vol. 2
from The Cupboard:
The Cupboard is pleased to announce its next volume:
A New Map of America
by
Louis Streitmatter
Edited by James Brubaker
“Perhaps soon, you will begin to hate the cartographer who overexplains his maps…”
The Cupboard
Volume Two
We’ve had to deal with some production issues on this volume, but it should be back from the printer in January and will be immediately shipped. In the interim, you can find out more here and pre-order the volume on our subscription page.
We publish 4 volumes a year, and they can be yours for $15. Subscribe here.
You can also choose to order volumes individually for $5.
*STILL AVAILABLE*
We still have copies of Jesse Ball’s Parables & Lies available and could certainly get them shipped by your holiday of choice if you’d like. Subscriptions to The Cupboard make great gifts (we presume).
Thank you again for your support and your patience.
Happy holidays,
THE CUPBOARD
Typography: an analysis
The online literature world can be broken down into two groups: the ‘Bookish’ and the ‘Sophisticated.’ These groups convey their partisanship with fonts. The font world is broken down into either serif (Times New Roman, Garamond, Georgia) or sans-serif (Helvitica, Veranda, Arial). Of course, there are overlaps, but I’m talking about ethos here baby, shit. From editorial discretion to readership disposition, there is no denying font type. Below is an in depth analysis on the demographics of font-people.
I. BOOKISH
‘Bookish’ people have a lot of books on their shelves and smell like libraries. They read a lot, often dense and abstruse stuff that ‘normal Walmart people’ won’t understand. When I list serif-populated websites, you will know exactly what I’m talking about: McSweeney’s, elimae, eyeshot, Prick of the Spindle, pequin, etc. See what I mean? Now can’t you just imagine a bunch of people wearing elbow patches w/ thick-ass glasses in Cambridge reading this stuff? They are very attached to the printed word — with those lyrical cursive-esque ‘thingies.’ These people are likely to drink herbal tea in the afternoon and cry occasionally. You will find an unread copy of Mason & Dixon on their shelf. They are often pale, white, and pudgy. They have uninspired, or even ‘bad’ sex because they are always thinking about grammar.
II. SOPHISTICATED
There’s this documentary “Helvetica” which I found really annoying. It was all these Europeans who ‘went off’ on how they changed the world with that font. Helvetica (or Microsoft’s bastardized version Arial) is used everywhere (picture the Target or JC Penney logo). There’s this idea that sans-serif fonts are more modern and ‘with the times.’ Minimalism, from which sans-serif was derived, attracts cynical people. (None of the propagators were breast-fed.) Here are examples: Muumuu House, HTMLGIANT, No Posit, (most of) Bear Parade, Robot Melon, My Name is Mud, etc. See? Now can’t you just imagine a bunch of people sitting on $2000 design chairs with their German techno in the background eating freakin’ carpaccio off of square plates? These people do not believe in God.
Conclusion: The only non-annoying font-type is braille. : : . . : .
See what I mean?
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING: New School in Exile WINS WINS WINS
He would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!
from New School in Exile, posted ~ 3 AM: Occupation Wins Major Victory over University Administration in 3rd Day
After more than two weeks of concerted actions on campus, students in the occupation were finally able to win significant victories in the ongoing struggle to improve the New School. Those victories include: an agreement not to press charges or impose academic punishments for students involved in the protest, the implementation of a Socially Responsible Investing (SRI) committee within the university, more autonomy and power for Student Senate to communicate with the student body, more representation on the Board of Trustees for students and faculty, and finally the creation of more student study space on campus. As of approximately 4am this morning New School and other students have left the 65 5th Avenue building and declared the occupation successful, ending this stage of the action.
You can read the full text of the agreement reached with President Kerrey here.
(If you missed my original post about this story, it’s here.)
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December 19th, 2008 / 11:38 am
December 19th, 2008 / 11:38 am
new issue: Harp & Altar #5
Poetry by Stephanie Anderson, Jessica Baron, Julia Cohen, Claire Donato, Elizabeth Sanger, Peter Jay Shippy, and G.C. Waldrep; prose by Joshua Cohen, Evelyn Hampton, Lily Hoang, Peter Markus, and Bryson Newhart; Patrick Morrissey on John Taggart and Matthew Henriksen on Anywhere; Michael Newton’s gallery reviews; and artwork by A.L. Steiner + robbinschilds.
“There are apologies I am too” by Claire Donato (complete poem)
The night you leave, I write tourist across my stomach with regard
to everything I’ve ever done. Later, I read cities could conserve by
shutting off their lights. There are apologies I am too
close to understand. How I pass my days? Try to go to sleep. No
room can numb someone with blue across her back.
Or, replace everything that’s lost. You have to pass the time.
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December 19th, 2008 / 11:27 am
December 19th, 2008 / 11:27 am
occupation of New School flagship building continues!
This isn’t strictly literary, but I thought people would be interested to hear that the New School occupation is now into its 20-somethingth hour and as near as I can tell, going strong. After reading some snarks about the protesters on Gawker this afternoon, I decided to stop what I was doing, head into Manhattan and check things out for myself. I did my MFA at New School (see? not totally irrelevant to literature!) and so was able to get into the building. They have a list of demands, which you can read on their frequently-updated website, but the top item on the list is the removal of president Bob Kerrey, the former Democratic governor of and senator from Nebraska.
Everyone at New School–teachers and students alike–has basically known Bob Kerrey is a joke, at least as far back as my starting the MFA program (Fall 2005). After he brought both John McCain and Newt Gingrich to speak at the school, it became clear what his real agenda was: collect a big fat fucking paycheck while using the school to set the stage for his next political campaign. Thanks but no thanks you center-right impostor. Good riddance to neo-liberal rubbish. The sooner the better.
I sat and listened to the direct democracy at work for about an hour and snapped some pictures from the center of the occupation, which you’ll find after the jump.
Excerpt: Dimitry Morgachev: My Life
Here is an excerpt from Memoirs of Peasant Tolstoyans In Soviet Russia (Indiana University Press):
In our village of Burdino there were fistfights three times a year- in December and January, on Shrove Tuesday in February, and at Easter, in April. The village was divided in half, and on Shrove Tuesday village fought village–Burdino and Terbuny. I also took part in those fights. Our priests said that fistfights were not bad: men got training from them and would be bolder and more active in war. The fights began with boys, then with teenagers, then grown men, and after that even bearded old men. Once the old men gathered close together like a wall and pushed me up against one of the strongest old men from the other side. I knocked him down, and from that time on they considered me a strong man. They said, “How he knocked over that big granddad!” It was the rule that you should never beat a man who was lying down, whether he was knocked down or whether he fell by himself, but sometimes they would agree to hold the very strongest men up by the armpits, and other strong men would not let them fall down and would keep beating them. Sometimes the outcome was fatal. Once a wealthy shopkeeper offered two buckets of vodka to the side that won. No fewer than three thousand men got together for the brawl. Our village won that time.