January 29th, 2009 / 3:18 pm
 Author News

Juggernaughtica

godzilla_biography-724278
Godjira was a bad motherfucker. He was a massive green mutant dinosaur raining down death and destruction because it was Tuesday in Tokyo, and Godjira recognized it was a banal Tuesday and had nothing better to do than melt tiny Japanese flesh sacks with his radioactive fire breath.

The city would get fucked up. High rise buildings in ruin. Virgins slaughtered. Expensive military vehicles raped.

The big green guy wiped his ass with Tokyo. Gratuitous aggression at its pinnacle.

There was always a downfall to his reign.

In a few of the movies an attractive young girl with some moxie devises a way to spank his dick and send him pouting back to his ocean floor studio apartment.

The battle for Tokyo is here and now(once again). Godjira has resurfaced. I am afraid. I need to be held by a comely female or a frail man with soft skin until the battle is over.

Please pretty young girl defeat Godjira and save us all.

godzilla8

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8 Comments

  1. January 29th, 2009 / 8:46 pm Molly Gaudry—

      Oh, wow, ha ha ha! Thanks for making my imminent defeat public domain on the massive HTMLGIANT scale!

      Publications appearing in print or online as of 1/24/2009:

      Gaudry = 7
      Tyler = 13

  2. January 29th, 2009 / 4:46 pm Molly Gaudry—

      Oh, wow, ha ha ha! Thanks for making my imminent defeat public domain on the massive HTMLGIANT scale!

      Publications appearing in print or online as of 1/24/2009:

      Gaudry = 7
      Tyler = 13

  3. January 29th, 2009 / 8:58 pm Molly Gaudry—

      I should add that I think it’s very unfair that pieces accepted for publication in 2008 are fair game. J. A. has like & (seventeen-million) forthcomings. . .

      I’d also like to add that Jason Jordan is my “trainer.” He will wipe the sweat blood tears from my face come December 31, 2009 and gently apply razor blade to swollen bruises. Thank you in advance for your kindness, Jason.

  4. January 29th, 2009 / 4:58 pm Molly Gaudry—

      I should add that I think it’s very unfair that pieces accepted for publication in 2008 are fair game. J. A. has like & (seventeen-million) forthcomings. . .

      I’d also like to add that Jason Jordan is my “trainer.” He will wipe the sweat blood tears from my face come December 31, 2009 and gently apply razor blade to swollen bruises. Thank you in advance for your kindness, Jason.

  5. January 29th, 2009 / 9:46 pm Jereme Dean—

      you are our only hope.

  6. January 29th, 2009 / 5:46 pm Jereme Dean—

      you are our only hope.

  7. January 29th, 2009 / 11:32 pm Molly Gaudry—

      I will not let you down, Jereme.

  8. January 29th, 2009 / 7:32 pm Molly Gaudry—

      I will not let you down, Jereme.