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Vicarious MFA: Two week round-up.

The Vicarious MFA

The Vicarious MFA

The thing about getting an MFA is that time tends to move really quickly when your “job” is to read and talk about great books and write on a deadline all the time. So, it looks like two weeks went by without me really noticing. Things were discussed. Revelations were had. D’agata talked about dancing in sequined pants…

First, the notes from John D’agata lecture:

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Vicarious MFA / 15 Comments
February 17th, 2009 / 11:28 pm

Vicarious MFA: Note Taking

notes

The dreaded blank page.

Discussed in Non/Fiction:

A Lie That Tells the Truth: Memoir and the Art of Memory by Joel Agee

A great essay about the memoir in the modern age that anyone working in fiction or nonfiction should read. (What are un-bendable facts? Where does lying end and art begin? Fact ≠ Truth.)

We talked about how much we liked Another Bullshit Night in Suck City * and/or what sections were brilliant and which were just myehh. Most were brilliant.

One of the assigned readings that we didn’t talk about was Jo Anne Beard’s Werner. Excellently strange essay. Would have liked to hear someone’s opinion on it. (It’s in the Best American Essay edited by DF Wallace if you’ve got that on your bookshelf and want to read it and report back to me. No pressure.)

Writing Assignment: Write a short piece (or essay or story) that responds to the title, “The Use of Nonfiction.”

Read By 2/9: Needs by George W.S. Trow, Captivity by Sherman Alexie, “…and nobody objected” by Paul Metcalf, and A Tin Butterfly by Mary McCarthy (a selection from Memories of a Catholic Girlhood.)

Lethem’s Masterclass was full of zingers. Lots of furious note taking and laughter.

Here’s an idea: What if Wikipedia means the death of post-modern uncertainness? What if Wikipedia necessitates the end of the novel of facts, the novel that is freckled with reportage? Lethem said something to the effect of “putting a fact in your novel is almost a wasted line,” considering that anyone can look up almost anything at any time on the internet.

We mostly talked about Terry Castle’s My Heroine Christmas and The White Album by Joan Didion. Both awesome.

Read by 2/9: Out of Sheer Rage by Jeff Dyer, which looks fun because I took a killer DHL survey my first semester here and I am still digesting

Vicarious MFA / 43 Comments
February 3rd, 2009 / 9:00 am

Vicarious MFA: Participation Grade

dagata We always get really great guest speakers here and I always wish I had a good question at the end, but I never do.

John D’Agata is doing a talk about something next week, and I know you kids love D’agata, so let’s come up with something good. Post your inquiries in the comments, and assuming that a good question is generated and I get the chance to ask it, I will post his answer here also.

Vicarious MFA / 7 Comments
January 29th, 2009 / 5:13 pm

Vicarious MFA: Assignment for Monday

The Vicarious MFA

The Vicarious MFA

For Jonathan Lethem’s  Masterclass about the essay:

1. Joan Didion’s “The White Album”

2. David Antin’s “The Theory And Practice of Postmodernism: A Manifesto”

3. Annie Dillard’s “Total Eclipse”

4. John D’Agata’s running commentary in between the various entries.

(All of these can be found in The Next American Essay, edited by John D’Agata)

Also, it was your turn to hand-in an essay yesterday, so I hope you did it. And I should probably remind you that that psychology book isn’t going to read itself by 10 AM this Friday.

Vicarious MFA / 14 Comments
January 28th, 2009 / 10:50 pm

Vicarious MFA: 3 classes & assignments.

The Vicarious MFA

The Vicarious MFA

School is in session! I got an email saying to go get “The Next American Essay” edited by John D’Agata and read a bunch of essays in it by Feb 2, when the Lethem masterclass starts. Hoorah. First classes for The First Book, Inheritance and Non/Fiction are after the jump….

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Vicarious MFA / 24 Comments
January 26th, 2009 / 4:53 pm

The Vicarious MFA, Part One

Don’t let the economy stop you from getting that Creative Writing MFA you’ve always dreamed of! Or, maybe, do let it stop you and just get the knock-off version here. For this semester everyone reading this blog has a full scholarship to get a Vicarious MFA from me/Columbia. Tomorrow’s the first day of class, so I thought I might post a back-to-school warm up, in the Jimmy Chen fashion, using Google image search to find out what the internet thinks you can expect from your Creative Writing MFA.

author photo

Your new, narcissistic friends will always look like they’re posing for their  (future) author photos.

hotdawgbgMake sure you take advantage of free hot dog condiments because it’s probably the only meal you can afford today.
savageGet ready to have your stories torn apart by your workshop professor who brings in his dog to illustrate how worthless your work is.

Vicarious MFA / 82 Comments
January 21st, 2009 / 10:34 pm

MFApocalypse

Discussed: Academic Harakiri, Writers as Plumbers

Well, it’s finally started happening. Penn State’s MFA program decided to commit harakiri rather than go on forcing its students to go into debt over a degree to no where. I don’t think it will be the last we’ll see to go. I don’t even know if it’s the first (and it seems likely that it isn’t.)

What I do know is that we have too many MFA programs in this country. And the ones we have are often too big to succeed in giving their students what they need/want.**

Consider this: Let’s just say that this country needed 250,000 new plumbers every year. That’s the number of plumbers we would need for all plumbers to get enough work and for all pipes to be fixed and for all the water to flow into the correct places water should go. Let’s say we had 5,000 plumber schools in the country turning out 500,000 plumbers a year because plumbing started sounding so glamourous and enjoyable and some people discovered they deeply enjoyed turning on a really good faucet or flushing a Pulitzer Prize winning toilet. What we’d have if that was the case would be cafes chocked full of unemployed plumbers dreaming of the pipes they could someday plunge, or sad-looking Mario-ish plumbers walking in and out of bathroom fixture stores just to run their hands over hot and cold knobs. We’d have would-be plumbers writing cover letters to total strangers, begging to let them plunge a toilet for free.
Vicarious MFA / 94 Comments
February 3rd, 2012 / 10:30 am

Coming Attractions

1. I love when authors I love leak a little information about what they’re working on, so I was basically salivating as I read this interview with Jeffrey Eugenides at FSG’s Work in Progress blog. Anyone else excited about this? I don’t think I have ever met anyone who doesn’t like Eugenides and surely his likability pisses someone here off.

2. Ever since I finished the Vicarious MFA series here, I have been trying to think of a new series and I finally did. It’s called 10 sentences and it’s something like an interview, something like a game, but not exactly either. The first one will be with John Jodzio & you can expect it Monday or Tuesday.

Author News & Web Hype / 14 Comments
July 17th, 2010 / 11:18 am

Quilts (Part 1)

These are collages I made in 2012 and 2013. They were made with paper, tape, and an x-acto knife with a swivel blade. They all measure 12×12″. Click on images to enlarge.

For previous coverage of quilts on HTMLGiant, please see David Fishkind’s thoughtful post from April, 2013.

I’ll post part 2 next week.

tumblr_mmubajgQNW1qd7mryo1_1280 READ MORE >

Contributor Things / 2 Comments
October 13th, 2014 / 12:14 pm

How I wrote my latest novel, part 2

Last week, I documented how I came up with the initial idea for my latest novel—“Lisa & Charlie & Mark & Suzi & Monica & Tyrell,” which I was then calling “The Porn Novel”—and how I simultaneously began exploring that idea and laying out some basic formal parameters. I also provided a general overview of my general writing process. Today I’ll cover how I finished this initial exploratory period and settled into a stronger sense of the project as whole. Again, my hope is that these posts will prove useful to other writers, and interesting to everyone on God’s green earth. Because I remember very clearly that, during the decade I spent writing my first novel, Giant Slugs, I often felt frustrated and confused. And while every writer must figure ultimately things out for her or himself, some of my strategies and methods might prove theft-worthy—or at least provide a good laugh.

So I’d gotten to the point where I’d translated the original idea (“a pornographic novel that doesn’t contain any sex”) into a more specific approach: six chapters featuring six friends meeting up for six meals. I knew that each chapter was going to be long, to make the absence of salacious material more palpable. And I’d whipped up some character names, and sketched out a list of potential meals.

I also tried estimating how long each chapter would have to be. I decided that, in order to convey the proper feel, the first five chapters should be at least 20 pages each, and that the final chapter (the group dinner) should be longer—at least 30 pages. That added up to 130 pages minimum, which felt like the shortest the project could be. I translated that into word counts, since I think better that way (for one thing, I always single-space my manuscripts, since years of teaching/grading, not to mention taking writing workshops, have led me to despise the look of double-spaced manuscripts). I had a sense that the project would be dialogue-heavy and not contain any long paragraphs, running maybe 250 words/page. Hence, the projected numbers worked out to 5000+ words apiece for chapters 1–5, and 7500+ words for chapter 6. These were just targets, of course, but having a rough idea of what I’m aiming at helps me pace myself, and estimate how long the writing will take.

I also started my writing journal. I use Excel for this and it’s nothing extravagant; I just note each time that I work, and jot down a few words as to what I did. I also track the word counts as they change (using blue for increases and red for decreases). And while this habit of mine is probably the sign of a diseased mind, it helps keep me motivated, encouraging me to “log in” every day, and stick to my routine. It’s not unlike tracking my workout routines, or the movies that I watch. Plus it yields data I can later analyze, which is the only thing that sustains me through the long cold Chicago winter. (Dear NSA, I hear you had an opening recently? Call me!)

Now before you think me entirely insane, consider this. I have a simple litmus test for what enters/exits my writing routine: is it fun? I write a lot, and want to enjoy it, and make it something I look forward to doing. As such, I’m always looking for little ways to reward myself, and to make the situation more pleasant / less stressful.

For example: when I was younger and writing only fitfully, I mostly wrote late at night, even though I never had much success doing that. Writing was something I did after stressing out about it all day, feeling guilty about not having gotten any work done. After a decade or more of that, I switched to writing in the morning—and, believe me, I did not think I was a morning person at that time. But I started living with a yoga instructor who taught early morning classes. So I started getting up at 5 AM and, amazingly, I discovered that I was much more productive and happier when I wrote then. (I also realized that predawn is my favorite time of day.) That experience taught me to examine the rest of my writing routine, and to try making it more enjoyable overall. So my Excel files are in some sense silly, yes—but they are my only friends, and I name them, and I love them.

Here’s a snapshot of the journal that I made:

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Craft Notes & Vicarious MFA / 30 Comments
July 3rd, 2013 / 8:01 am